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What a waste!
I felt compelled by curiosity to pose a question. A phrase I have heard said on several occasions, by straight women, on seeing an attractive gay guy is 'What a waste'. It always irritates me, because it sounds to me quite dismissive. Really, it suggests that to have a relationship with another man is in some way less legitimate than a heterosexual relationship. I wonder, does it come from the assumption that the man will not father children, thus not spread such good genetics? Or does it mean simply that the man would be better off with her than another man? Does she assume he would want to be in a relationship even if he was straight? I am not sure, though I suspect women who say this have not thought deeply about what it could imply either. Often, I hear it said by women who would not consider themselves homophobic at all, perhaps even who have many gay friends and acquaintances.

What do you think? Do you think this is an offensive thing to say? Am I reading more meaning into it than really exists?
Thank you!

No. I don't think it 's that serious. It 's just like she wants that man but she can not get it so she says something to cheer herself up. Just like when you see a hot guy with another guy already, you can say what a waste!!

I certainly don't find it offensive. I think it is sort of a compliment, I read it as saying straight women, in general, or the speaker, in particular, are worse off with the man in question being gay rather than straight i.e. that if it weren't for his sexual orientation he would make a good lover.

I have often commented about particular men being straight as being a pity.

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

No, I don't see this one as an insult (yes, I know it makes a change Wink ) and , like Fred, think it more of a compliment than anything else. The thing is, though, were I straight, I'd be someone else and she might not be interested in that person. As it is, being gay, I'm safe and she can say things that maybe sometimes wouldn't be said to others? On occasion I have, in response, mentioned that my boyfriend doesn't think it a waste at all and, in fact, is rather pleased that I'm gay Wink

It isn't offensive to me. I'm sure some women will be disappointed to know that I'm gay. I don't really look gay at all.

Cutieboy Wrote:... I'm sure some women will be disappointed to know that I'm gay...
You're not called Cutieboy for nothing then? Rolleyes

Its not a insult to gay men, many straight women just dont like the idea of hot guys being gay.

marshlander Wrote:You're not called Cutieboy for nothing then? Rolleyes

Yeah lol well I mean there will be definitely women who think I'm cute. However, they'll just be shocked to know that I'm gay. A gay guy with a good eye will know I'm gay. I'll throw straight people off though.

I don't take it as an offensive comment, I take it as a compliment, just like how some people say "All the good men are gay".

I take it as a compliment , I was at a str8 club last night and this woman was flirting with me all night long , she was told I was gay by my friend yet was trying to convince me that she would be able to turn me into being straight , she then said " what a waste " , I felt this was purely because she couldnt have me and said that to make herself feel better . Eventually she left the club when the guy i was with told her to leave me alone and that I was his ( this was planned as a joke , he thought the whole thing was hillarious) She then got the message and left the club .

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