Top and bottom problem, really need advice

[marshlander]

... Knowing the mental gymnastics I went through to keep myself in denial (and I wasn't doing that) it boggles my mind how he can think of himself as straight and still regularly have sex with men...

It is amazing how we can deceive ourselves if we need to.

A woman could never do that because she can never have the necessary experience to know.

Oh, don't be so dismissive, Colin If a woman truly loves her man she'll make an effort - as long as she's not dealing with sexual hangups of her own.

In truth, men also respond differently from each other. It's not always a case of just rub it and cum. If you have found a partner who instinctively knows which of your buttons to press you are lucky. For many of us it takes a lot of practice - and I, for one, intend to keep on practising

[postman]

I am not sure if your fella is in denial or just messed up.....
I regularly have sex with a man and yet outwardly I'm straighter than a roman road and I don't remember the lesson at school when they taught me what Bisexuality meant.....I still haven't really got a clue.....
I have several gay friends who I am very close to who are completely unaware of my sexuality so gaydar isn't always 100% accurate either.....

not sure what your preferred "normal life" is but this guy either fits in to it or he doesn't........lucky for you that's entirely your call and your life too.....

find someone who makes you happy and enjoys your dick if that's what you want......stop worrying about what your friend wants and put yourself first.......my master is 100% gay and he never bottoms or touches my dick and I ain't complaining .... your "straight" guy sounds just my type

[Jason74]

I just have never really understood so called straight guys that just happen to like to fuck guys in the ass, I just don't see how that makes much sense, yet I am not really hung up on labels about who you are and what you do. I mean maybe he is not gay but he has gay feelings to do this sexual act with you and maybe he is just secretly gay and doesn't want the world to know that he is gay. I give him a few years and when he gets older I am sure his choices will change and he will come out. I mean I wouldn't act like I enjoyed fucking a women when in fact I am gay, just don't see it happening. I mean I have been with females in the past but I didn't enjoy it as much as I did with other guys.

[Sil]

dude, I had exactly the same thing nearly.... same situation anyways.

first off I'm sorry to hear that your guy is bullying you a bit, that doesn't seem entirely good but I understand from the early days how it's also kind of a turn on and hard to resist. Building up self esteem is difficult when you're seriously attracted to a guy.

On another note, he is meeting you halfway in going bottom - and sad to say some people just don't like it, or grow out of it (as my hubby did) . I really don't know what to say about this because it's something he has to want to enjoy it in the first place, and you can't really plant that desire in someone's mind if they're unwilling.

Only thing I can suggest is some pegging (using your fingers on him while he's doing stuff) and learning how to hit a guy's prostate. If a guy's laying on his back it's roughly four inches in and up slightly just a little towards the belly, you should be able to feel it when you get there. Sorry if I'm grossing anyone out, but I doubt it. Anyway, if you hit that while he's cumming or pawing off, he'll learn to appreciate it pretty quickly...

[Sil]

About the guy's prostate, how exactly do I feel it @___@? When I am inside him, it feels really good but it does not feel like my dick is touching anything inside him. And also, my hand is not really good, and it 's hard to make him hard when he is in pain. Do you have any tip to make him hard when I am inside him?

it's not always easy, it's pretty much the male G-spot...

*look away if easily offended*


it should a feel a little harder and raised but not massively so, it's a kinda walnut-sized protrusion >.< but you won't feel it obviously . If you've ever seen a guy in porn cumming hands-free from being fucked, chances are the guys hitting right on his prostate. It's more to do with feel than anything else and looking for reaction, and you'll notice when you get the right angle hpefully; so for missionary with him on his back, you'd be curling your hips down under him and working in at an upward angle...just push in until you hear him gasp a little, it's almost like trial and error. There's a lot of diagrams online that can show you where it is in your body, better than my explanantions anyway. Look up 'prostate massage' and it should tell you way more. Oh yeah, there's a toy called the 'Aneros' that is designed specifically for this purpose.

It's by no means essential for good sex but damn it feels good.

Also, some guys don't always stay hard while recieving, but it doesn't always mean they're not enjoying it; the human body can only deal with so much at once sometimes. If you really want to keep him hard let him ride you 'cowboy' style, and you can keep him happy down there and let him enjoy himself, stroking or whatever.

Hope this helps.

[jatman]

Have you tried jacking each other off? He might let you get to this point after the massage.

[jatman]

... I find that with my boyfriend, we are more attuned to one another. Our bodies operate on a more similar level and we can tune in more easily. We understand what works and not works more instinctively. A woman could never do that because she can never have the necessary experience to know.

That is a bit of a generalization. I've only had one guy whose body was completely in tune with mine from the start - it was completely natural. With everyone else it takes a LOT of work to get even a bit closer in sync.

And I haven't conclusively found any prostates - mine nor other peoples... Seems rather difficult.

[fredv3b]

I find that with my boyfriend, we are more attuned to one another. Our bodies operate on a more similar level and we can tune in more easily. We understand what works and not works more instinctively. A woman could never do that because she can never have the necessary experience to know.

I have to say that instinctively I agree with that sentiment. However there must, logically, be a reason for homosexuality's enduring popularity.