Eating disorder

[princealbertofb]

Im so worried that the eating disorder i worked so hard to get over is coming back. ... i have a life, not just anorexia. I really don’t want to lose that but the lure can be so strong, even though rationally I know its not worth it.

I’m worried about telling family and friends because I don’t want to put them through that again and it is hard to talk about. It will worry them. And i’m not keen on telling the dr because i don’t want to get referred back to the services i worked so hard to get discharged from. I still hold out hope that it’s not far gone enough to need that.
I hope this doesn’t all sound petty or vain. It is really hard to explain how awful anorexia feels to people who don’t have it. Thanks so much.xx

It is neither petty nor vain. It is a matter of the greatest importance if you are to be healthy in mind and body.

Just a simple question: is your eating disorder linked in any way to your sexual persona? Are you finding it hard to come to terms with sexual orientation? Maybe, if that were the case, you'd need to confide in someone about that problem too (or first). It may get you out of a vicious circle that has been imprisoning you for too long.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your responses everyone!

Can you try and accept you are not fat, by impressing on yourself positive throughts of how slim you are already. One way to is to look at fat people instead of thin people, and saying to yourself how good you look. I know its a worry but try to break the downward cycle with positive thoughts. Good luck m8.

This is an interesting point because it does help me to remember im very slim really, like hearin it from other people or seeing the size of my clothes is small because they are are ‘real’ things. Looking at myself in the mirror doesn’t help because my self image is so out of touch. To me i can look thin or fat depending on evwn the time of day and how i feel. Reassurance from other people is very important to me it helps me get a real and normal image of my body. But strangely it really is all about me and my feelings- i am so scared of being fat but I don’t hate fat people or think they look bad. I just know i couldn’t be overweight myself because some how i have given it more meaning and value then it has.

I agree with you juk, anorexia stays with you for life really, its just about managing it every day and it can go up and down. I think i am still at the stage where i am finding ways to live with it, because this voice in my head about being fat (we usually call it Ana!) doesn’t go away. I just need to learn to ignore it! As Bowyn Aerrow says, it needs regular maintainence. I like the suggestions about seeing someone outside of formal services, like a private counsellor or support group. I’ll have to look into it and see what money allows etc. I also like the idea of treating myself in nice ways (who doesn’t?!) because i think when you are happy and feel good, anorexia is less strong.

I cant see any trigger to why this is happening now, but I agree something must have changed. Maybe i need to try and find out what so i can address that directly. Maybe that’s something to do with who ever i decide to see for support with this. I think Prince Albert alludes to that too because feelings about sexuality can be a trigger I think. I heard eating disorders are more common in gay men than straight, by far. There are probably a number of reasons for that but no doubt the difficulties of accepting yourself and coming out are a big cause.

Thanks for the help everyone. xx