Real gay 'pride'

[drocko17]

up!! any other opinion?

[sexyzackers]

there are abunch of humungo gay pride parades in japan! sugoi!

[portugal_the_man]

Firstly, certain sub-cultures of the gay community do not in any way 'define' the gay community. The only thing that defines a gay community is being composed of members who are attracted to the same sex; that's it! I do understand that a lot people feel that 'gay pride' pushes our 'homosexuality' onto other people when it's not wanted. We're a diverse group, but we're also a YOUNG group, and I think that therein lies main difference. We have a longer history of being persecuted and shunned than we do of being accepted and tolerated. Pride is way of being a part of something, of showing solidarity. What I think that a lot of younger gays don't realize is that not too long ago there were NO public outlets of support for gays. Everything was underground. That is where our culture developed, in secrecy. Some of the activities you talk about are a result of that secretive culture. Growing up young and gay in this day and age is a little easier because there are places and groups that offer support. It's easier to find people like you without fear of being persecuted.

I personally take the road of 'quiet pride', I'm proud in my own way, I don't flaunt it, but that's only because that's not my personality.

[drocko17]

And that's why there are gays coming out of the closet earlier and earlier in their lives... look at younggay33 or sexyzackers, or even me! im 17 i reckon15 or 20 tears ago gays didn't come out till 25 or 30, or even they didnt do it at anytime!

luckily i have to admit gays have a good future in society, forecast seems good

[portugal_the_man]

There is a lot more scrutiny on us because people want us to give them a reason to hate us. They want us to do something so that they can point and say "look, they are a BAD influence, they shouldn't be allowed in society!"

There are a lot of things that are wrong with the gay community, but I wouldn't lump PRIDE together with rampant multiple-partner sex. There are people who show pride that have been in monogamous long-term relationships.

It's funny, whenever I talk to people about how messed up my family is, they always say "but look at you, you turned out great, you're the only normal one," and I laugh a little inside because they probably wouldn't consider me 'normal' if they knew about me.

That also brings up another question: I know that being gay doesn't automatically make someone intelligent, kind or responsible; but it does seem that a lot of gay people show intelligence, kindness and responsibility. Is there something about being gay that pushes us to being 'better' people in general?

[drocko17]

Is there something about being gay that pushes us to being 'better' people in general?

oh, definitely not!! as there is not something that pushes us to being 'worse' people in general... we're people with different sexual likes, that's it; it all makes me remember Orwell's 'animal farm'. The 'strong' community itself is spitted up as well; we're all very very different, u already know. As i said, there is no democracy in gay world (as there is no in hetero world either, and im not talking about politics). Just the fact of being rejected forced us to the necessity of being 'proud' of what we are; and that has gone a bit out of our hands nowadays. Disgusting trends and habits have been established.

[portugal_the_man]

Are you talking about trends and habits that you see in your country? Or just trends and habits in general in the gay community?

The bottom line with those 'trends' is that we're still men, and men have primal urges that need to be satisfied, and since we like other men, you have two people that need their primal urges to be satisfied and who are more willing to go at it than say a woman would. You don't see women going on chat rooms asking for multiple sex partners, but when you only have men, it's much much easier for that sort of thing to happen.

Unfortunately, people will do whatever to get their rocks off.

[drocko17]

Yes i mean trends everywhere, in gay community, standards of behaviour

[Shadow]

Hokay, I'm writing this as I'm thinking it, so it might come out a little bit jumbled, for which I apologise ... I will draw a conclusion at the end though - promise .

To my mind, there are different types of "pride" ...

I am proud to be a healthy, happy gay guy with a really good, strong, loving family and network of friends at my back and sides ...

I am proud to be good at modern languages ... to be reasonably intelligent, and to have a decent ability to articulate myself in writing.

Hell ... I'm proud to be alive :biggrin:.

Then you have "gay pride" which, to my mind, is a different type of pride - demonstrated by proactively edging the topics and issues of homosexuality in a considerably more public manner than I myself would perhaps adopt alone ... so you get gay pride marches, gay pride festivals, and so on and so forth, some of which are designed purely for the amusement of the participants; some of which are designed as specific purpose vehicles for politics.

Whilst I think it is important for homosexuals as a section of society to have a number of outlets through which they can campaign for equal rights in certain key areas, together with the ability of raising awareness of gay issues, I am saddened that when most people think of "gay pride" they think of divas and drag queens storming the streets in feather boas and sequins, playing cheesy music and camping it up BIG stylee ...

... so for my part I agree with some of what Drocko17 and others are saying, in that (as Portugal_the_man has already said, and very well too I might add) all that we have in common is our common same-sex sexual preference and that, consequently, we should take pride in ourselves; and equally I can see how younger people would look at people heavily involved in gay pride events/some of the more militant homos out there and think "DAMN I don't want anything to do with people like THAT - they give people like ME a bad reputation !!", but if you think about it historically, sometimes great achievements come from those people that are willing to stamp their feet and be recognised ...

Genuine question: Do you think we'd have the emergence of so much pro-homosexual legislation if people didn't jump up and down about gay issues as gay pride-sticklers do ?

Yes, of course, we could submit our pleas to Governments around the world in a considerably more civilised and collected fashion, but I think sometimes that "gay pride" is about examples ... it's about breaking the closet door down and screaming "it doesn't matter WHAT you think of us, we're here, and we're here to stay" ... and so whilst the repercussions of that are that the quieter, more regular Joe's like myself, Drocko17 and others do feel like we're having to dodge the bullets periodically from people that use the opportunity to go "That drag queen's gay ... and ... YOU'RE gay ... so you're the SAME !!", that's as much about the ignorance of the person making the observation as anything else ...

Therefore, to sum-up (and once again, my apologies for the rather back-and-forth post) I would say that, in my opinion, whilst I consider myself as having very little to do with "gay pride" in what I consider to be its publicised form, and whilst I do sometimes CRINGE at the extremely camp gay guys that, I feel, do cause people to tar us all with the same brush, I believe their hearts are in the right place, and I think that, statistically-speaking, they have done more good than bad for our cause, and so shouldn't be dismissed out of hand ... mile:.

With love and respect, I go.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[drocko17]

Yes, true what you said, tbh nowadays waters calmed down in my life a bit and im taking those things easier, i guess all this stuff of complaining on the abuse of the gay pride was more because of my insecurities after standing as a gay person against the world for the first time in mi life.
although it isn't a minor matter of discussion, is it? i had thought if that crazy idea of the 'gay hand by hand day', in which all gay couples show love affection in public in a previously arranged day, that would be much stronger than any parade and we'll get farther, dont u think?