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11-08-2010, 07:17 PM

I am a virgin, so I have no real experience with any of this. As far as emotional attraction, I was once, but I would rather not discuss it.

Well...I think that you are young still and as life unfolds things may change along the way but until then I think what marshlander said is true:

11-08-2010, 08:01 PM

YES you cam be gay without haveing sex question answered move on

fredv3b · 11-08-2010, 08:02 PM

A question for the OP, have you tried doing it rather than just thinking about it? I can actually see where you are coming from about the idea of gay sex. However when you have a guy you love and are just crazy about, actually having sex with each other can be just wonderful.

11-08-2010, 08:05 PM

TimmyThink Wrote:2nd Base- Cloths on, full on making out, groping and heavy dry humping..well thatÃ¢Â€Â™s my second base.

Just realize that I have never been at second base by your definition. Normally, if it gets to this second base, it is straight up to the 3 rd or last one :eek:

11-08-2010, 08:19 PM

My friend is like this; he doesnt mind sex, but hes said it isnt a big part of a relationship to him. He said he wants to have it but their relationship isnt going to be based off it so yeah you can be gay without the sex :/

11-09-2010, 09:33 AM

Esruc Wrote:and not like gay sex? I ask this because I have struggled with my sexuality for a long time, and I am beginning to realize I do not like the idea of having sex with another man.

Been there. When I was dealing with my sexuality, I really struggled with the idea of gay sex. Years of programming teaches us it's wrong. It took a long time to get over the hurdles, and some of the sex acts I didn't do for years - or didn't like for years. But when you are with the right person, and you trust them, it may suddenly seem right and the most natural thing in the world. There's no guarantee.

OTOH, I do know of gay men who never have sex. It doesn't stop them being gay.

Remember, it's a sexuality - attraction to the same sex. Gay doesn't mean a particular sex act.

There are many straight people who are famous for being virgins, but it doesn't stop them being straight. So why should it be any different for gay men?

11-09-2010, 01:58 PM

kitschcamp Wrote:...There are many straight people who are famous for being virgins, but it doesn't stop them being straight. So why should it be any different for gay men?

I was thinking of making the same point in my earlier post, but don't we tend to assume someone is straight unless proven otherwise? This is all part of the conditioning. I wonder what the incidence of asexuality might be?

11-09-2010, 02:28 PM

I'm with Fred, (I hope!) in that I think it's an issue of comfort rather than anything else...

A relationship without sex and lust in some form is basically a strong friendship to me. It is a relationship however, and nobody should be able to set boundaries on another person because of their preference for physical closeness.

However I do feel that a lot of the issues are perhaps subliminal? I find it hard to believe there is no attraction there as regards kissing and being close to another man; that is after all what defines our impulses towards another human being. I suppose I'm saying that you may desire a deeper level of contact but you are fighting some rather difficult issues? if so please do not let me make light or seem trivial. You have your own preferences and if they keep you happy more power to you; if I've learnt anything in life it's that sex only makes things more complicated.

11-09-2010, 02:52 PM

I have to wonder how conditioning plays into the picture....is there sexual abuse somewhere in the past? I almost hate to ask because it can be hidden as in repressed and I dont' want to invade anyone's safe space and one of the ways it can manifest itself is avoidance of sex...lack of interest. The idea of sex in the subconscious can be symbolic of what happened and avoided if the person is not ready to deal with it.

I didn't have sexual abuse but I had physical abuse (actually I did get raped when I was a teenager but it was nothing to me as I just left my body) and the way it manifested in my case was I didnt' want anyone touching me...and if anyone touched me accidentally or slapped me on the back my reaction was intense and swift...I also felt repulsed by any kind of affection that included any touching. For many years I just thought I didn't want to be touched because that was the way I was....

11-09-2010, 08:12 PM

Don't apologise, you don't need to! Everyone has their own hangups. Everyone, I assure you.