Long Distance..Friends

[Gryfin121]

I've been talking to this guy for about five months now. We live 2000 miles apart but we connected right away. I'm confused a how I should perceive this situation... I really like him and he tells me that he likes me a lot as well. We even have legit plans to meet this new years. I'm staying at his house for two weeks with his family. If anything, that screams that he really likes me. The only thing is, sometimes we rarely talk. We skyped for a a week and then since then, a few texts, but otherwise nothing. He hasn't said anything about meeting or anything...Idk... It's not that I don't believe he doesn't like me... it's just confusing that we're going to meet and yet he rarely ever answers me anymore. Maybe it's just him and he's really busy but it sucks and I get into negative spirals when I see him update fb statuses or answer formspring questions. I just need to know how to deal with it so I don't screw it up before we actually meet.

[Sil]

Hi Gryfin,

My first proper boyfriend was a long distance affair like that, ended up going halfway across the world to the US to meet up with my ex, we were pretty sure we were perfect for each other. BUT there is one important thing to bear in mind, and I hope it doesn't seem trite - the connections you form online are mental, but in real life the physical ones take time. Even though we'd known each other so well for over a year, it was like a first date all over again ^_^ you may have to be prepared to take things slow all over again, albeit with a massive advantage of knowing things about him.

If someone is really into you they will be texting... a lot sometimes... unless he has a really valid excuse (work/family) and is honest about it, I would be having second thoughts. You're about to give up a lot of time, effort and money for him; and believe me, it stings like a bitch when it doesn't work out after you've done all that and you can't see him again. I want this to work for you, but I'm being a little doomsayer based on my own experiences. I'd rather see you happy with someone here.

I don't regret it - his family were sweet and it was a whole new experience, but we realised it wasn't perfect. If you feel like a romantic adventure and you're sure things are mutual between you, just play it cool and see what happens. You must be worth a catch and you can keep your options open.

[marshlander]

I've been in a longish distance relationship for over seven years and it takes care and effort. I am going to second pretty much everything Sil just said. If your man wants you to be there I would have thought the excitement would be ramping up, not down. Be careful.

[Gryfin121]

I just don't understand how he likes me so much that I can stay at his house for two weeks, but he doesn't say a word to me this whole month. I've been playing it cool too, at least I think so. I just don't know what to think... because any other guy who ignores you for a month you would think, well he's not into me--move on. But we're actually meeting... Maybe it's because I'm thinking of this as us in a relationship already and he's not?? He typically tells me he's busy which I believe... he does have a lot going on that I know about...but at the same time--and it makes me feel crazy to say this but still--if you have time to update a fb status or answer questions on formspring...why wouldn't you have time to answer a single text?
I'm trying to be cautious here, and I know we're going to eventually have a talk about what happens after we meet... I just don't get where his mindset is at.