i need some advice people...

[sexyzackers]

ok, im one of those people that just doesn't know what to say when im talking face-to-face with someone. when i post things like this, it's easy for me, becouse i have time to think about what i want to say. but when im talking to someone face-to-face, i just have no idea what to do. any advice?

[spotysocks]

You mean in a date? You could have a look at the Dating tips thread.

Nonetheless it is quite common to get a bit shy sometimes especially with people you dont know. I kind of know what you mean- it is a skill to keep people engaged in what you say and the more one keeps it simple the better it seems to work. What you can do in these situation is to let the other person to do the talking , this way you ll have time to think, gain confidence and feel more in easy to talk more.

[sexyzackers]

no just being social in general...i never know what to say...

[drocko17]

ic...
try to loose yourself and be 100% sincere, i suggest you should start talking about your likes (you dont necesarily have to say you are gay, u know, that's up to you, take into account that many people stick to prejudices and wont take to you straightaway if you tell the ure gay), hobbies, ask the other person, try to find what things in common you have with the other person and you can take that thing as a start of a friend relationship. hope it's useful for ya

[sexyzackers]

that helps alot but everyone knows that im gay! hahaha! i guess i kinda portray it...oh well...

[portugal_the_man]

Usually just starting something off with "Hi, how's it going?" is an easy enough way to begin a conversation, things can go from there. Something as simple as "What's up?" can be a big ice-breaker.

Usually people who are socially shy think that other people don't want to talk to them 'by default'. I used to think that a lot, but it's really not the case. Once you just start talking to someone, you open up a lot.

I'm usually always shy, but I've gotten a little better in college. In some of my classes I have to work in groups, and I'm finding it easier to just talk to people. You just have to get in the habit of striking up a conversation so that you do it without thinking. I pay attention to what other people are saying or doing, and I work it into the conversation to show that I'm really interested.

You're young so you should build up this skill now. It's very important to build up social skills in elementary, junior high and high school. They are very important building blocks.

I'm sure you're a very likeable and interesting guy, you just need to show that to other people. You'll be networking with people like there's no tomorrow.

The key is to TRY.

Right now I'm doing good talking to 'normal' people without a relationship overtone, I just have to work on approaching guys that I'm interested in; I think that will be a lot more difficult for me though.


Chelsea, am I not yours?

[sexyzackers]

that helps...

[Shadow]

Portugal_the_man has hit the nail on the head mile:

All I can add is that if you're running out of things to talk about (which is a possibility), you've at least two possible options :-

1) Let the conversation die and move away (as in physically away) - if you're the one doing all the talking, then it can get rather awkward at times, and there's nothing to say that you have to keep the conversation going; or

2) Switch to generic topics, OR topics that you feel might be probing, but which can switch the talking points to the people you're with ... "what do you think of (topic) ?", that kinda thing - put the onus on them to do the talking, and to open-up new avenues of conversing.

Also, when you're talking with other people, it will help you if you're able to observe what's going on with them - how are they responding ? Are they apathetic ? Are they keen to keep talking ? Do they seem nervous ?

If you're able to accurately gauge how they are responding to talking to you, you'll be able to feel for whether the conversation is worth continuing.

But for what it's worth, I agree with Portugal_the_man - you seem like a really nice young lad, so I don't see how many people could have difficulty in keeping talking to you or, if they did, that it could be for any other reason than that they see that you're nervous ... mile:

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!