12-11-2010, 12:35 PM
So about 6 years ago (2005) I'm a freshman in high school and I've already come out to a lot of my friends and come to terms with my sexuality. I decide it's time to tell mom. What doesn't help is that she's started a screaming fight with me prior and we're both very angry with each other. So when I finally blurt it out, she just gapes open her mouth and walks away. I leave the house and go to my grandparents for a little while and watch TV with 'em.
I go back down to the house to find that mom's gone and got the booze and is drinking it along with a cup of coffee, giving me the ultimatum: "If you're going to be gay, I'm going to be an alcoholic."
My dad then calls because mom had called him all panicked and startled. He asks me what the hell was going on. So I tell him, and he tells me to dump the booze. And so I do, and he also tells me to get my aunt down there to start smoothing things over. And so I do.
I go upstairs (the house I live in with my family is a two story building, but its two separate houses. The one on top is an "apartment") to talk to my aunt. I fill her in on what's gone down and she tells me that she accepts my decision and that it's my choice to make. That it's not going to be easy for my mom to accept it because of the way she was raised. She tells me to just stay outside because things could get a bit ugly inside. She goes downstairs to confront my mother because what my mother's done is quite unfair. In the meantime, mom's been outside calling random people (she's shitfaced.) and screaming them out because it's their fault I'm gay.
Aunt comes down and takes the phone away from her and tells her to knock it off, that she's being totally irresponsible. Once everything's gone and smoothed over, mom apologizes and I shove myself back into the closet just for mine and my mother sanity. But before that can transpire, dad comes home after the next few days (he's a truck driver) and we all sit down to have a little chat. He tells me that he accepts me for me, that it's my life and my choices. But that he's concerned for me because of the sex aspect of the homosexual life. He thinks I'm confused, but I think he knows I mean what I say. Mom didn't like the fact that he sided with me, and that he's just genuinely worried about his son. She goes to quote Bible references and other things to dissuade me from coming out.
So I told them that maybe I am just confused. That maybe I'm just curious about how it would work, so I met them halfway and said that I was probably bi-sexual, with a higher leaning towards men.
Fast-forward five years.
It's now 2010 and I decide it's time to finally and completely come out of the closet because I've given myself five years of time to think and weigh and compile information about homosexuality versus bi-curiosity versus heterosexuality. The homosexual part of me won and this time I try and different approach to telling my mom. This time I write a very personal note and say that all I want for her to do is keep supporting me and loving me like she's supposed to. I tell her to call me once she's read this letter and thought about it and let the emotions stop controlling what she says and does.
She calls me an hour after I leave, a good friend of mine said that it was alright if I stay with her until the next day for fear of what might happen to me, and says that she still loves me and that we'll talk about everything the next day.
The next day my mom comes and picks me up, and she's not pleased, but not completely disappointed in me. We get home, I get everything set up and ask her if she wants to talk about it; she said that she still needs to think about it and that I should just stay in my room until then. So I do, I entertain myself while I wait with StarCraft II Beta. And when she finally decides it's time to talk, I pause my game and go out there and talk to her. She explains that it's not right, and that she can't completely support me, but that she'll love me unconditionally until the day she, or I, die. And that's all I wanted.
Dad calls. Asks what's going on, and she tells him. When she gets off the phone with him, she tells me that he just thinks I'm confused. And that she agrees. So, just to make her happy, I tell her that I might just be bi. And that some college might do me some good.
It's now December. I came out again in March. So far, my friends have come over and we talk before we go to sleep (these are just friends, not significant others.) and dad has walked in several times when a friend of mine and I are talking about my sexual orientation. And each time he does he pauses before he completely enters. I think he believes me when I say that I'm gay because his brother is too. So he would know the signs.
I think that's everything. Kinda hard to get every detail when it's this complicated. I'll be more than happy to answer questions
I go back down to the house to find that mom's gone and got the booze and is drinking it along with a cup of coffee, giving me the ultimatum: "If you're going to be gay, I'm going to be an alcoholic."
My dad then calls because mom had called him all panicked and startled. He asks me what the hell was going on. So I tell him, and he tells me to dump the booze. And so I do, and he also tells me to get my aunt down there to start smoothing things over. And so I do.
I go upstairs (the house I live in with my family is a two story building, but its two separate houses. The one on top is an "apartment") to talk to my aunt. I fill her in on what's gone down and she tells me that she accepts my decision and that it's my choice to make. That it's not going to be easy for my mom to accept it because of the way she was raised. She tells me to just stay outside because things could get a bit ugly inside. She goes downstairs to confront my mother because what my mother's done is quite unfair. In the meantime, mom's been outside calling random people (she's shitfaced.) and screaming them out because it's their fault I'm gay.
Aunt comes down and takes the phone away from her and tells her to knock it off, that she's being totally irresponsible. Once everything's gone and smoothed over, mom apologizes and I shove myself back into the closet just for mine and my mother sanity. But before that can transpire, dad comes home after the next few days (he's a truck driver) and we all sit down to have a little chat. He tells me that he accepts me for me, that it's my life and my choices. But that he's concerned for me because of the sex aspect of the homosexual life. He thinks I'm confused, but I think he knows I mean what I say. Mom didn't like the fact that he sided with me, and that he's just genuinely worried about his son. She goes to quote Bible references and other things to dissuade me from coming out.
So I told them that maybe I am just confused. That maybe I'm just curious about how it would work, so I met them halfway and said that I was probably bi-sexual, with a higher leaning towards men.
Fast-forward five years.
It's now 2010 and I decide it's time to finally and completely come out of the closet because I've given myself five years of time to think and weigh and compile information about homosexuality versus bi-curiosity versus heterosexuality. The homosexual part of me won and this time I try and different approach to telling my mom. This time I write a very personal note and say that all I want for her to do is keep supporting me and loving me like she's supposed to. I tell her to call me once she's read this letter and thought about it and let the emotions stop controlling what she says and does.
She calls me an hour after I leave, a good friend of mine said that it was alright if I stay with her until the next day for fear of what might happen to me, and says that she still loves me and that we'll talk about everything the next day.
The next day my mom comes and picks me up, and she's not pleased, but not completely disappointed in me. We get home, I get everything set up and ask her if she wants to talk about it; she said that she still needs to think about it and that I should just stay in my room until then. So I do, I entertain myself while I wait with StarCraft II Beta. And when she finally decides it's time to talk, I pause my game and go out there and talk to her. She explains that it's not right, and that she can't completely support me, but that she'll love me unconditionally until the day she, or I, die. And that's all I wanted.
Dad calls. Asks what's going on, and she tells him. When she gets off the phone with him, she tells me that he just thinks I'm confused. And that she agrees. So, just to make her happy, I tell her that I might just be bi. And that some college might do me some good.
It's now December. I came out again in March. So far, my friends have come over and we talk before we go to sleep (these are just friends, not significant others.) and dad has walked in several times when a friend of mine and I are talking about my sexual orientation. And each time he does he pauses before he completely enters. I think he believes me when I say that I'm gay because his brother is too. So he would know the signs.
I think that's everything. Kinda hard to get every detail when it's this complicated. I'll be more than happy to answer questions
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
to GaySpeak Nocturnal. I hope things go ok for you from now on. Nice that your father has a gay brother and can recognise the signs... He's been very supportive it seems. Your mum is a bit erratic, but she'll eventually get used to it. You've been honest not only to your parents, but also to yourself all these years. 
