Having trouble finding the 'B' in LGBT

[Jobi]

Hey everyone,

First-time poster here, all ready posting problems sorry :confused: .

So I've been struggling with coming out since I turned 17. It started off being a situational thing, I came from a small podunk town where homosexuality is not well received and a mother who thought I was only going through a phase. Well I moved out of the town and proved that it wasn't a phase....but now I have a bigger problem. I've tried talking to a few of the gay and lesbian friends I've made at school, and even a cousin of mine who is a lesbian and I get the same reaction from all of them. It isn't acceptance nor sympathy it's this apprehension, this disbelief to what I'm saying. I asked one of them straight up what I was experiencing and she said that bisexuality wasn't real, I was either straight and overly sexual or gay and in denial.

I thought this was just one person's opinion, but I soon realized that the gay community in my area doesn't really seem to acknowledge bisexuality. There are even a few people I've spoken to who say bisexuality is hurting the LGBT struggle. I've only spoken to people close to me in the gay community, because of their responses I'm afraid to go to the school's LGBT support group.

I guess what I'm looking for is other people's experiences in this respect, how are bisexual men normally received by the LGBT community? Do a majority of people really believe it's fake or simply indecision?

[Ultra]

Bisexual men are generally well received in the LGBT community. I accept them and they're just as important as lesbians, gay and transgendered persons in the LGBT community. There are some who don't believe in it. In case you want to read about that, read this artcile: Bisexual erasure - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Jobi]

Thanks for the response Cutieboy,

I guess preference is the hard part of bisexuality, I can confidentially say that my preference romantically is 50/50. However when it comes to aesthetic attraction I do tend to lean towards the more feminine side but it doesn't mean I prefer woman over men, it's just the look I prefer. I'm not sure if that's more common than a pure even indifference. Thanks for your input and support Cutieboy, I appreciate it!

[Ultra]

No prob, dude! Technically I'm bi, however I'm more comfortable with labeling myself as gay.

[sephirothtx]

I had this problem too, in middle school some, mostly HS, though it stopped once i got into college. I don't know much about your town, san antonio can be a bit ultra concervative (hard core republican and christian) and that leads to bred and taught ignorance even in the GLBT community, hate is apparently a very hard thing to let go of.
in the end i ignored them as much as i ignored the other haters and eventually they accepted me for who i was.
in the end it turns to this, especially in ultra conservative places, these kids where brought up to hate people, race, sex, sexuality

when it turns out they are, or are like, the thing they are taught to hate, then instead of completely absolving their hate they turn there hate or disapproval on others.

[East]

There is definitely an element in the gay community who insist that bisexuality does not exist because they are projecting their own feelings to others and assume since they are not bisexual it is impossible to BE bisexual:biggrin: Of course...these same individuals have a fit when straight bigots tell them that being gay is a choice and they cannot naturally BE gay because it is unnatural. If you are brave and have patience you might want to point that out to them and do us all a favor.

Bottom line...do not let anyone else define you. They are misguided. Be true to yourself.

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

Hey Jobi welcome to the Gs community of friends you will find acceptance here not to worry

[Genersis]

I still can't beleave that people just deny bisexuality's existance.:confused:
Does it help them feel better knowing that they are denying and middle ground between "Gay" and "Straight"?

I guess they only deal in absolutes.
"You are gay, or you are not. There is no bi."
I think someones been watching too much Star Wars.
(YEAH. ME!:eek::redface
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Oh! And:
Welcome!:biggrin:
[SIZE=2]Heh, got a little carried away.:redface:[/SIZE]

[OrphanPip]

The categories are all invented anyway, they can be useful tools but are just as often restrictive. I think the notion of there being anything like a standard heterosexual identity that people fit into to be absurd. We could take a hatchet to heterosexual identity and start inventing blondesexuals, or what have you.

Jack Halberstam once wrote, "Just because Batman is male and Catwoman is female does not make their interactions heterosexual - think about it, there is nothing straight about two people getting it on in rubber and latex costumes, wearing eyemasks and carrying whips and accoutrement."

The notions of sexuality are ever fluctuating and culturally determined, the notion that any given sexuality is one thing only, or that any kind of sexuality can not exist, is nonsense.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

The people you've talked to are ignorant. Don't worry. And it's their opinion, so...I mean you can live however you want to, right? I am absolutely sure that you will be accepted by the whole LGBT community and all the fag hags like me if you talked to any other people.
As for the LGBT support group in your school, I think that if you want to, you should try turning to them and joining them or whatever. If they don't accept you, they should fuck off. But I really doubt you will have a problem with them...
Some people are just...overzealous about the whole gay think and they always think somebody's discriminating them. Or they think they can lay down the norms of the LGBT community. And they screw up. DW!
Good luck!