Hi everybody, this is my first thread by the way.
So, there's a guy I like who goes to my school (I'm 18, he's 16) and he's openly gay and been so for a year or two.
When I realised that I was bi sexual (about 4 or 5 months ago) I found that I was thinking about him quite a lot and didn't really know why. Soon I started to have sexual fantasies about him, and started getting a pretty big crush on him, and thought it would be worthwhile to approach him.
So I said hello to him on Facebook, and was flirting lightly with him. It turned out that we have a bunch in common (more so than with anyone I've ever met) and I guess we kinda clicked, even though I've been too shy to say hi to him in school (he's more on the charasmatic side), but he's been conspicouously absent from school for the past few weeks anyway.
So we've talked maybe 6 or 7 times on Facebook and the last time we talked was a few days before Christmas.
I mentioned that I was buying some weed and he smokes it too. So we decided that we'd buy it together. (I dont know about your disposition on weed, but for this post it is rather immaterial, thank you).
He sugested that we buy it the weekend before we go back to school (Christmas holidays) and smoke it together. And it's great that we're going to spend time together.
But here's the thing.
He suggested that we smoke it at my house, and he knows that every second weekend I have the house to myself (because my parent is working all 3 days, including nights, and this is the weekend in question).
So: it will be just the two of us, in an empty house for a whole weekend, with a bunch of mind-altering drugs.
Do you think that he expects something to happen? What should I do to prepare myself? Should I take it slowly or try it on with him straight away? Should I buy some condoms?
I'm really excited but really nervous. I'm a virgin, and I know that he isn't. (In fact, he has built quite a reputation for himself in the area of permiscious sex, or so I've heard.)
So what should I do?
Thanks for answers  mile:
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Hello Bi-Boy92 and  to GaySpeak.
You won't know till you know what mood you're in.
Er..... yes, well, you probably need to stay off the weed and concentrate on the matter at hand. If you are in a mood to start something sexual with him, then it would be a good idea to get condoms and some lube, presumably... The thing about having your mind altered is that it might not put you in a disposition to be CAREFUL, even if it puts you in a mood to be mellow and close and concupiscent (promiscuous)... so make sure at least that you have the items handy in case something does happen. You have the house to yourself and you also have the house to take care of and I suppose your parents are trusting you to be a good boy. Don't let them down or you may find that they'll never let you use the house for your own enjoyment again. Remember also that, depending on what you do, sex can hurt if not done gently... I trust your friend will know how to handle this if he's as experienced as he says he is... (who knows if this is true?). Just in case he is as much of a novice as you are, then don't rush things and make sure you play safely. You don't want to have awkward explanations to give to your family if things get messy.
Best of luck with your first encounter. Hope it all goes as you wish.
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Hey! Congrats on finding someone who you seem to have so much in common with. I don't know what he expects to happen, but you shouldn't rush into anything you don't want to do... if you feel like you want to have some condoms around just in case then great, but even if you do have them around, that doesn't mean that you have to do anything. If it turns out that you both want something to happen then great, but if not then don't feel weird about saying you're not ready yet.
Personally I would keep the condoms ready just in case -- you don't want to be caught without them if you do end up wanting something to happen with him.
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PrinceAlbertofB: Thanks for the welcome!
And thanks for the advice about the weed. However, I was of the opinion that if we were intoxicated that that would make things a lot more comfortable for both of us, seen as the first night of that weekend will be our first time hanging out together, so the weed is kind of a neccesity in my mind.
Ok, I'll be sure to buy some condoms... but what kind of places sell lube? Do pharmacies sell it? (Sorry, I'm rather inexperienced in that area).
I know for a fact that he has had sex at least once though, it happened near the end of the last school year with a guy in the oldest year (who is gone now) who was also openly gay and they were made quite famous for it.
I've heard a couple other stories of him being permiscuous and honestly I dont have a reason to doubt them.
But, he's never told me about his experiences, I'm sure if anything he's embaressed about what he's known for.
As for the situation in my house, its just my mom and me, she works for the whole weekend, every second weekend. My dad says that he'll come down and see me if I'll call him, but it's ok if i dont.
So there isnt really any responsibility involved, I'm just the lucky benefactor of circumstance.
When you said "things get messy", were you implying anal bleeding?????
Ottowaguy04: Thanks for the comment!
And thanks for the concern, but I'm totally ready for the most intimate that could happen when he comes over.
I'm just wondering if I should wait for a while. Should I make the first move the first night? Straight away, wait a few hours...?
Or wait till the second night?
And what about the whole top/bottom issue?
I really dont know all that much about gay culture (maybe I should've read up on it beforehand :frown: ).
Is it customary to have one set top and one set bottom? Or is it ok to switch around for a bit?
Does the strongest guy go on top?
We're both a pretty similar build... I guess you would call both of us Twinks. Although, I think I'm slightly taller and stronger, and I dont much like the idea of being a bottom.
Could I have some clarification on this, please?
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Bi-Boy, I wasn't really talking about anal bleeding as that shouldn't really happen, not if you are careful... I was just talking about things getting messed up in the house, if you are not completely compos mentes, ie your normal self. But if you think you can handle it and are used to it, there probably won't be any harm.
As far as being top and bottom, you two can switch and be one or the other, although it's not everyone's liking to be bottom or to do anal sex. Don't hesitate to say No if it's not your mood or your thing. You can always try again when and if you are ready.
It's perfectly Ok just to do mutual masturbation or have oral sex if you like that (who doesn't?), which you might find sufficient for a first time doing it with another guy. You shouldn't hesitate to ask your friend what he likes and doesn't like, as well as you should feel free to tell him what you find enjoyable and what you don't like. It's a question of daring to trust and daring to say how you feel and what you enjoy.
In answer to your question, yes, chemist shops should have lubricants like KY jelly or other stuff, if not a sex shop or maybe a GUM clinic might provide them.
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There's nothing "customary" that you have to do. You have to find out what you like/don't like and what the other guy likes and doesn't like... I know this is really vague but it all depends on the people and circumstances. As for bleeding it's never happened to me yet but don't be afraid to ask the guy to back off if he's hurting you or something.
Also for the first or second night thing just go with the flow. If you're ready and he's willing then go for it as soon as you feel comfortable... just try to make sure that you're both on the same page about what's going to happen.
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Ok ok.
Whoops, I thought you were being metaphorical! Sorry if I sounded vulgar >.<
Thanks for that, I started to kind of freak out while writing my last post...
And I've seen KY Jelly at a supermarket in my town, but is it really neccesary?
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Ottawaguy04: Thanks for clearing that up
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bi-boy92 Wrote:Ok ok.
Whoops, I thought you were being metaphorical! Sorry if I sounded vulgar >.<
Thanks for that, I started to kind of freak out while writing my last post...
And I've seen KY Jelly at a supermarket in my town, but is it really neccesary?
I wasn't being metaphorical,  , just down to earth. :tongue:
Yes lube will almost surely be necessary if you are going to try anal intercourse... You can also use it just to experiment... why not. The problem with KY jelly is that it tends to get dry quite quickly. It isn't really designed for anal sex. There are other sorts of lubricants that are designed for that, but will you find them? You could do a search online to see what's available in your town. Dublin is fairly big.
In any case, if you can't find any, maybe he'll have some? You don't need to do it all on the first date anyway. Chances are you'll be feeling a little shy about it all at first, and you might not even feel comfortable discussing your needs and desires with him. I know the weed is supposed to help, but will it? If you two are talking online beforehand, you might also start discussing what you'd like to do together when the chance comes up... that way, it'll be easier to break the ice once you are together in real life.
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Oh, I didnt know that, about the lube.
I dont actually live in Dublin... just a little village on the outskirts. I thought it would just be easier to just write Dublin.
So it would be harder to find other lubes.
I will probably will be shy, yeah, but I'll also be up for anything
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