List of things to think about

[Nikolai]

Okay, I've asked a similar question about how to self-identify, but not anything like this. I was wondering, in list form, what are some things to think about when trying to figure out one's sexual orientation. I know I'm not heterosexual, but I don't know where I fit in. I know I don't have to label myself, but it would make me feel better if I could be at least on the right track. Thanks.

[Alitta88]

hi Nikolai, There a lot of on-line tests and quizzes on the Net that can help you determine your sexual orientation , you can try one of them and find out . mile: some of them are really helpful .

[Vigilias]

Okay, I've asked a similar question about how to self-identify, but not anything like this. I was wondering, in list form, what are some things to think about when trying to figure out one's sexual orientation. I know I'm not heterosexual, but I don't know where I fit in. I know I don't have to label myself, but it would make me feel better if I could be at least on the right track. Thanks.

How about, "Am I harming my self?" and "Am I harming anybody else?"

If the answer is no, all is good. Why attach a label to your self, just go out and enjoy your self and come to your own conclusions later, really, life's too short!

Welcome to the site, by the way. Here you'll find a bottomless well of good advice from a bunch of really great people who'll offer you support no matter what.

[Vigilias]

Nikolai... sorry, I didn't mean to dismiss your question as unimportant.

Is the identification or definition of your sexuality really important to you?

I wonder, have you ever heard of the "Kinsey Scale"? The Kinsey scale is a sort of sliding scale of human sexuality from 0 - 6. 0 representing exclusively heterosexual and 6 exclusively homosexual (With "X" representing Asexual.

I've reproduced some of the text from Wikipedia on the subject.

"Kinsey wrote:

“...Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories... The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects.
While emphasizing the continuity of the gradations between exclusively heterosexual and exclusively homosexual histories, it has seemed desirable to develop some sort of classification which could be based on the relative amounts of heterosexual and homosexual experience or response in each history [...] An individual may be assigned a position on this scale, for each period in his life. [...] A seven-point scale comes nearer to showing the many gradations that actually exist." (Kinsey, et al. (1948). pp. 639, 656)

”Today, many sexologists see the Kinsey scale as relevant to sexual orientation but not comprehensive enough to cover all sexual identity issues. They suggest that sexual identity involves at least three different spectrums, sexual orientation being only one of them (two others being biological sex and gender identity)" Kinsey scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I remember when I was a similar age to your self and pondering on the same question. I didn't like the term "gay" and I've never been happy with "Homosexual" so I created my own, "Monosexual". It really didn't matter what I called my self because it didn't alter a thing. I also realised this and got on with the rest of my day, and indeed the rest of my life.

I think it's all part of our journey of self realisation. The emphasis being on "part"

Take a look at the link and see what you think.

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

Welcome to the GS community of friends

we will do our best to help when we can and accept you for who you are

[HotCanadian]

Ask yourself, "Does the idea of lying naked with a man turn you on?" If so, think about what you would like to while with that man.

Ask yourself, "Do I like the idea of giving head to a guy?" If so, think about, not just his penis, but also his body and face. What would the rest of this man look like?

Do you like the idea of pressing your hands against the bare chest of a man and gently but firmly dragging your hands down the chest, over the nipples with your finger tips and down to his belly button?

Don't ask if you're gay or bi. Just think about what turns you on. You don't have to be on a quest to answer whether or not you're gay. Just think about guys if they turn you on.

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

Nikolai, just remember there is MORE to being human that just sex. str8 ,bi , gay is all just a label
be who you are.
sorry but i know of no set list to tell anyone where they belong that is totally up to you where you fit in.
Ask your self this "do i want an emotional connection with another of my own sex or someone of the opposite sex or both"
To me life is about connections not JUST sexual gratification. I am a gay man i cannot connect emotionally with a woman the same way i connect with a man, I have tried, I am homo emotional.

don't get me wrong sex is great but it is NOT the end all be all of the universe. there is a lot more out there.