How to help my partner to come out

[ppolivetto]

Hello.
My name is Eduardo and I'm 24 years old.
I start a relationship with an almost married 39 year-old man 7 months ago. I met him in may and he was about to get married in august. We get to know each other via chatroulette, later we change some e-mails, then phones and we really start to have strong feelings about each other. His future wife went one week before the marriage to another city and I went to meet him. He is not from the same country as I am, but as we are in europe, it's not too hard to travel. Was the first time with a man for both, and it was amazing.

We talked a lot those times, via phone and skype, I realized that he had an awful life with the woman but I couldn't make anything. He didn't want to get married anymore but he couldn't cancel everything, so he "got married". I put like this because his wife didn't have the documents so it was more a party than other thing.

Later she discovered that he called a lot to me, even on the wedding day, and everything falls apart, she called me and I answer thinking that was him and they got "divorced". She try a few times to go back with him, but he doesn't feel comfortable to do that and he also love me, and I love him.

The problem is that he feels guilty because he cheat on her and she seems to not know anything about us. She mistrust with the calls and everything, but she doesn't know the truth from anybody. Or she probably knows and ignores that. And also he has afraid to come out to his family, friends and society.

I really don't know what to do, I love him a lot and I want to stay with him but he needs to be ok with all that. Next week he will see a psychologist and try to get some help. What should I do? Anyone with a similar case or something?

[invis85]

Dating a person who is still in the closet myself, my advice would be avoiding it at all cost! Unless you are a very strong person who can sail through the instability, avoid!

But you cannot help whom you fall in love with. I always tell myself that.

[ppolivetto]

I've passed trough loads of things, this won't change what I feel and I'll go trough this too.

[invis85]

Then good luck to you. All the best. As long as you understand what you're getting yourself into.

[marshlander]

Don't expect the psychologist to be the answer to your questions. Sometimes counselling takes years.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Can he move to your country or you move in with him? Than it doesn't matter what his parents or whoever says because you will be there. Tell him that it doesn't matter what others think when it comes to his life and personality...