My good friend is a compulsive liar what can i do?

[matthew91]

Ok basically my good friend is a compulsive liar. He always has been, he lies to make himself look better. He has a relatively low self esteem and his lies are getting worse. His current lie is that he works as a security guard for our local supermarket. Its not possible, you need to be licensed and trained fully by law and hes only 18. Its sad because hes telling all the people round him about it and they believe him. He is a relatively popular guy who would do ANYTHING for a bit of attention. The worrying thing is that people trust him and I'm the only person realizing he just lies and lies. I need your help people, confronting him would be hard. i Once confronted him about a lie which i had hard evidence for and he tries to play the victim, he said he had a heart condition and i spoke to his parents about it and they were exceedingly confused.

Thanks

[posterpicture]

I think instead of revealing his lie to other people, you should show your friend that it is really bad to lie and it will bring him bad consequence. It 's not easy to make him realize that tho. You should go to the library to find some self help book, they may have some methods to do that.

[Dark Angel]

I don't see why people do this stuff. I have friend also like this, not as bad but he did make up a character and a movie I made up XD do that!! it fun.

make up a movie, then ask him if he has seen it. Maybe say he was there when you saw it. then pretend you cant remember what the awesome character was like and see if he lies!!!! if he does confront him then XD

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

this is a difficult situation my only advice is . if he says he is your friend is he telling a lie?
if so you don't need a friend like that you need to confront him and do not back down.
He may need help in this regard as in professional help.

[East]

Interesting dilemma that will most likely present itself to you again and again...different people...same 'ole sh*t:biggrin:

Your insight into this is good and the sad thing is that people who do not want help will not appreciate your efforts...you cant' change him at all and even if you did help him he would have to do all the work and what you really have to offer is support which he has rejected...

..but you can change how you react to him. Understanding he has a problem is a great first step and then decide if it is a problem you can live with...or not....and proceed accordingly. If it is a problem you cannot accept you should maybe ease away from him and there is nothing wrong with not being able to accept that behavior. I had quite a few compulsive liars amongst my bar customers and knew many of them for years...and though initially I would get a bit pushed out of shape I decided with most of them to just accept that they were who they were and wish them well silently and let them go on as they will.

Good Luck with however you decide to handle it....

[matthew91]

Cheers people. I have had a bit of research about the subject and after looking at a number of sites most people hardly realising they are doing it. He must know he is doing it because when there is a lie, like there is now, i ask him quite specific questions about it. As i said earlier he is currently saying he got a new job as a security guard. I ask him about how its going and sometimes he struggles to answer. We have been friends for many years and he is a good friend but as the years go on the lies get worse and worse and sometimes more unreal. When i found out that him saying about a heart condition was a lie i was very upset because i felt bad for him not realizing i am actually just falling for his attention seeking ways. Tomorrow i think i will try to talk to him about this job but i don't want to humiliate him. I know how crap it feels when someone finds out you have been lying and theres no getting out of it. I think i find myself slowly losing friendship with him. I don't we will see what happens. But thanks for all your replies, muchly appreciated

[East]

You are a very thoughtful and kind person matthew...good luck to you. I hope he will be able to realize he has a great friend in you. I am not sure if this is considered a mental illness or not...did your travels reveal an answer to this by any chance?

[matthew91]

You are a very thoughtful and kind person matthew...good luck to you. I hope he will be able to realize he has a great friend in you. I am not sure if this is considered a mental illness or not...did your travels reveal an answer to this by any chance?

It's not a mental illness no, more of an obsession or addiction. My friend lies in order to get positive attention and to make himself look good. It does sound quite selfish but he has quite a low self esteem and depression and that so yeah. I'll let you know how the chats go tomorrow. Thanks mile:

[TimmyThink]

Have you tried looking into his eyes an calling him on his bullshit, because that's what i would do.

[fredv3b]

Send his lies up? Nothing worse than not being taken seriously.