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EX broke NC with a distrurbing txt
#1
Been doing good with the NC contact from my ex bf. I don't send any msgs, call or txts. But I got the most disturbing txt from him two days ago. Long story short he dumped me a month ago and moved in with a girl. Said he wasn't gay and wants a str8 lifestyle. I'm over that, and just want to move on.

Well his txt basically said 'hey I wanna see you and talk to you. I know you work late and would like to meet up after work and since it's late maybe we can sleep somewhere. I need to really talk to you.' I'm floored. I just want him to leave me alone. I'm getting over him slowly but surely. I get txts like that and it sets me back a little. I really don't need for him to hang things out like that infront of me. As hard as I tried not to read his txt my phone just posts it up on the screen. I feel like he only cares about himself and wants to have a gf but get his gay fix whenever he wants. What's wrong with him? I really want to contact him and tell him to f-off and go on craigslist to get his hookup.

Has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this and how do I keep moving on. I'm at the point where I want him 110% out of my life completely. I just want to erase him from my life. Yeah I had good times, but they are not worth all that I'm going through right now.
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#2
delete him from your book. Delete him from contacts. Tell him what you feel like telling him. If he treated you like that, he's less than the shit you wipe off your shoes.

As for the emotions... It's difficult. The cliche "Time heals all wounds" is apt, but during the transition stage of getting through the pain, it really doesn't seem to hold much water.

Maybe you just need to do things that make you happy. Go out. Grab coffee with friends, go listen to live music, join a club or start one. Work on a side project that you might have been putting off. Just do whatever it takes to ignore him. You've made your decision, now you gotta stand on it and accept that there is pain in separation. We are social animals, so naturally things that go against that can hurt at first.

In the long run though, your happiness and sanity are worth what will end up being minor pain. I promise you, the sun will rise in the morning. Smile
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#3
calisurfjump Wrote:Been doing good with the NC contact from my ex bf. I don't send any msgs, call or txts. But I got the most disturbing txt from him two days ago. Long story short he dumped me a month ago and moved in with a girl. Said he wasn't gay and wants a str8 lifestyle. I'm over that, and just want to move on.

Well his txt basically said 'hey I wanna see you and talk to you. I know you work late and would like to meet up after work and since it's late maybe we can sleep somewhere. I need to really talk to you.' I'm floored. I just want him to leave me alone. I'm getting over him slowly but surely. I get txts like that and it sets me back a little. I really don't need for him to hang things out like that infront of me. As hard as I tried not to read his txt my phone just posts it up on the screen. I feel like he only cares about himself and wants to have a gf but get his gay fix whenever he wants. What's wrong with him? I really want to contact him and tell him to f-off and go on craigslist to get his hookup.

Has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this and how do I keep moving on. I'm at the point where I want him 110% out of my life completely. I just want to erase him from my life. Yeah I had good times, but they are not worth all that I'm going through right now.

There was a blog I read earlier tonight. I think you should give it a read.

Diary of a (Gay) Breakup

I should urge you a caution before delving into it. The author gets rough at times. And he also gets really emotional (I almost teared up a couple times because of how he wrote it. That or I'm just over-emotional). The latest entry... I don't think you should really read into it, but read it anyway.

My two cents: you need to take the salt away from your ex. Call him up, tell him to leave you alone and that if he doesn't, you'll have the number blocked and any other contact will also be blocked. You need time to heal, seal the wounds and get over him. If he still has feelings for you, he'd respect your wishes. If he doesn't respect your final wishes (this time around) then he doesn't have feelings for you. He's just saying that to try and get into your pants. And you're handling this the right way so far. You're being respectful and mature, telling him that you can't let him cheat on his girlfriend. And that he's blown his chances. (Pun not intended.)

Good luck, man.
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#4
If I were you I would give him a second chance.
But if you don't want to forgive him then here is how it will work.

First, reply him directly "don't bother me, we are done."
Second, remove him from your mind, remove all of the memory. Start thinking that he was never in your life.
Third, block everything about him, facebook, phone number, email.
Fourth, start having crush on another guy or seeing another guy.
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#5
Meeting up with him doesn't necessarily mean you are going to do something. Maybe he just wants to talk. Maybe he wants you two to be friends. I don't think it's that risky to give it a chance. Just this one time. You can always leave, you sound like a very smart guy who knows when he's being manipulated or used.
But then, if you really think that your feelings might come back when you see him, or you could give in and do something with him if he wants, just...politely refuse. It's no use to be rude.

Good luck!
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#6
tell him you are no longer single and need him to leave you alone.
if he thinks yoy have someone new it might stop him.
dont fall soft either and let him use you for sex.
your worth much more
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#7
jamiebfd Wrote:tell him you are no longer single and need him to leave you alone.
if he thinks yoy have someone new it might stop him.
dont fall soft either and let him use you for sex.
your worth much more

That, or it might up his ante.
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#8
Thanks guys. I sent him an email asking him to leave me the f*&k alone. Which is what I want. I don't want him in my life. It just hurts that after knowing him for close to 3 years nothing is left of our friendship. That in his mind I'm just a bootie call. That's what really hurts. I'm trying to move on but his msg really set me back. Is that normal?
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#9
Yes. It's quite normal. Just gotta get back in your car and drive through the rest of the tunnel and not stop til you see the light at the end. Smile
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