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Jay Wrote:I understand if you feel uncomfortable with their styles as it is not your thing. But there is no need to take it over the top by forming a feel of disgust or even hate towards them.
I always believe that if you expect people to respect you, you have to respect them too. It's not a one way road.
Here, here! I think people tend to confuse personally disliking someone and disrespecting them, or we have lost the ability to respect those we dislike.
Fred
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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I'm a : Gay Man in an Open Gay Relationship
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fredv3b Wrote:Here, here! I think people tend to confuse personally disliking someone and disrespecting them, or we have lost the ability to respect those we dislike.
Replace "disliking" with "Not trusting" and that has happend to me LOADS.
Why should i trust someone 100%, who i only met 5 minutes ago?:confused:
Er....to answer the topic:
I'm not really attracted to effeminate people. Though its doesn't mean i can't find them good looking.......same goes for women really.(Should i finish this with "No offence"?:redface
Although love could quite easilly overide this.(Like pretty much anything:tongue
Silly Sarcastic So-and-so
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To add something that I may or may not have posted before. I approved of Aaycles post because he is right in saying that the kicking screaming bitching queens probably got us to where we are now, enjoying the freedom of being manly gay men, who don't have to feel threatened by the camper ones. I'd say that we only really have a problem with the camper gays because it's an image of us that has been used to ridicule us in the past, or because it's been used by straights to stereotype us. It's not the image of what seems desirable in a man, so not always something we can relate to. However, I'd like to point out that many a butch looking man in porn, if given a chance to express himself in a making of or other type of documentary, often comes out sounding really queenie in his personal manner and speech. It's funny, it just goes against the image projected in porn, and it would be easier to identify with those men if we didn't only see what the producers of porn have decided to show us.
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ok TBH I am way too tired to read through this entire thread but feminine men are a major turn off for me. i find myself not liking them generally and i used to judge them pretty strongly but i have moved away from that as i am becoming more secure in my own sexuality. i think it may be that i was judging them because i could not come to terms with my own self? idk
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I have a problem with the purposeful affectation of those 'stereotype' mannerisms.
Many gay males adopt it as an affectation. Affectation: conspicuous artificiality of manner or appearance; effort to attract notice by pretense, assumption, or any assumed peculiarity. (dictionary)
To their own and our communities detriment. While no doubt there are swishy, fem boys out there, I find it hard to swallow that being gay requires such a sudden change in ones mannerisms and character.
When I first met my partner he was 'butch' straight acting. Then he got the Job in the City working in a predominately 'gay' office, then he started affecting those traits of swish, limp wrist and a slight lisp.
He had already been out of the closet for close to a decade and had been gay all of his life. The only thing that changes is the people he was hanging out with.
To me it is a great silent wrong we are doing to ourselves, reinforcing negative stereotypes, becoming that which so many people loath in 'the gay male'.
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I want a masculine guy to be honest. However, if he isn't open about who he is, I'd be wary of dating him. I'm not out there with my sexuality, but I will hold hands/kiss/etc. in public. I wouldn't care what others think and if he's against this because he believes it's stereotypical or whatever, then Im better off without him. I'm not going to date someone who can't show affection in public because he doesn't want to be seen as feminine, or stereotypically gay.
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Pssh, love the queens, great guys.
Although, I'm no macho man myself. I'm an effete academic who couldn't throw a ball to save his life and spends half his day reading poetry.
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