Hey guys so I'll start off by saying that this is my first post on this site. After perusing the various forum posts, it seems like I've come to the right place in order to get advice for the issue at hand.
I'll start off by saying that I'm a bisexual college guy. I've entered the stage of my life wherein I've begun experimenting with my sexuality and, I've got to say, I haven't been disappointed thus far. In the few encounters I've had, I've been the bottom for the sole reason that it seemed an easier role to be since more experienced guys were showing me the ropes. Not meaning to brag or anything but my endowment is well above average, as many guys have told me, and they suggested that I start looking into being a top. As of late I've started dabbling in that area but I've only had two awful experiences: once (my first time) when I was pretty inebriated and another which was extremely awkward as it was in the front sear of a truck.
Now there's a guy (as is usually the case) whom I met and he is extremely attractive (he was an actual Abercrombie model). He has also made it very clear that he is a submissive bottom and that he'd like very much for me to take an active role as a top. We met up once but our time was cut short since he butt-dialed and ex-girlfriend and inadvertently left it on for her to hear our conversation about being gay (he's not out by the way). Needless to say, he panicked and I had to leave, but all that us neither here nor there.
So he wants to grab drinks and smoke pot with me sometime in the very near future and has strongly hinted at wanting to hook up. I'm not at all opposed to the idea, just a little apprehensive. I'm sure he's been with tons of attractive experienced tops (since he's so attractive) and I feel like, due to my lack of experience, I may not live up to his expectations. I don't want it to be one of those instances where it's an awkward hookup and all contact is severed. I really want to rock his world and stand out from all of the other notches on his belt because I'd really like to not make this a one time thing. Any advice guys? Sorry for having written a novel. I'll also keep you guys updated as to how it goes.
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Wouldn't you love for the guy to be Brent Corrigan...
Sorry, never mind. :d
So it's going to be just sex? Wham bam thank you man see ya next time for something even better? Just asking. Either way, I'd suggest that you don't go to sex the next time you meet, but maybe...maybe tease him (well, and yourself) a bit more...play a bit before screwing, and maybe go to the act itself the second time you guys meet..
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Haha yeah wishful thinking for me hooking up with brent corrigan but I'd say this guy is a damn close second. But yeah, we'd just chill at first then it'd undoubtedly lead to sex. The only other thing is that neither one of us can host due to roommates so I think he's wanting to mess around in his car (just when I thought there couldn't possibly be anymore pressure added to the situation). He's explicitly asked to have sex in his car before but I declined, wanting to opt for a bed. I'm tempted to do that again but the opportunities for either one of us to be able to host are slim to none and I definitely don't want to pass up a chance to get with this hottie. I'll probably try the teasing to keep him wanting more but we'll see how it goes...
sorry guys I tend to ramble on at times
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oh, dude, Brent is a true god.. :d
Hotel room?
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I think you should look at it as a learning experience. Tell him you don't have much experience but you're well endowed. Maybe he'll teach you a few things?
Being a good top is about 'listening' to your bottom. Take your cues from the bottom. They all have a different matrix, as far as that's concerned. You'll know when to speed up and slow down/harder/softer, if you're making eye contact.
Also, don't be afraid to verbally communicate. 'Does that feel okay?' It goes a long way in establishing trust and mutual respect.
Also - have fun.
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Yeah, definitely don't do it in a car. I've only had sex in a car once (I was the bottom)..... and it was one of the most uncomfortable things ever.
If all else fails, like SlipknotRlZZ suggested, a motel/hotel would be best. Maybe you 2 could split the cost of the room. LOL! So romantic, huh?
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yeahh a hotel room really wouldn't be an option for us for various reasons. I might just have to tease him a bit in the car and hope that we'll get a chance to fool around elsewhere in the future.
Piefolk, thanks for the tips. I'll definitely keep those in mind. I've also been kinda worried that my penis might be a bit too large for his enjoyment. That second guy I was with had me pull out on multiple occasions because he said it hurt too much. Definitely don't want a moodkiller like that happening again..(but come to think of it he said he was normally a top so maybe that's why?)
Any tips for guys with larger-than-average endowment?...especially for those who don't have much experience in wielding such a weapon haha
Another thing..he has also hinted at wanting me to be very dominant but I can't very well do that while trying to take it easy (due to my endowment) and listen and verbally communicate (since I really don't have much experience).
gahh perhaps I'm just overanalyzing the whole situation and putting too much pressure on it but it's kinda hard not to..
Thanks again guys
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Okay, first thing to do is take a deep breath......
Now that you've calmed down a bit (see above instructions if you haven't ;-P),
there are two things you should think about, and take them from a guy who also loves being dominated. Firstly, just because you feel you need to take it easy doesn't mean you can't be dominant. Just choosing a position that suits you and feels dominant can go a long way toward setting the mood. Any position where he's under you and is pretty much constantly reminded of it is one thing (sprawled out on top of him with his arms pinned over his head, or on his back with you hovering over him as you thrust, making sure you look into his eyes as you ask him if he likes your big... sorry,what was I saying? I kinda distracted myself) Acting confident, even when you don't feel it, can also be a very large step towards being a good dom. Remember dominance does not equal rough. Dominance equals Dominance.
Beyond that, it helps a lot to talk about what you both like in bed openly and honestly. I recommend doing this over a meal as talking while eating or playing a card game or chess or videogames etc. often breaks the ice and keeps things from getting too awkward. It's certainly easier than just siting across from each other and being brutally honest. I know you don't have enough experience to have a long list of likes and dislikes in bed yet, but that's one of the things you can discuss.
And remember, whether he's hot or not, if he starts to act like a jerk about it, ditch the guy, he's not worth it.
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Well, first, I have the impression that you are a very conscious man. However, I would just like to make clarifications if you're solely trying to talk about your 'sex' life, rather than seeking advise for a relationship. Well, if it's the former, i say you must choose whatever it is that feels comfortable for you. You can never force yourself just because that's what other people said.
By the way, make sure you set priorities. Either you want to concentrate on screwing someone or have a genuine relationship.
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Thanks for the tips, Darius. You've opened my eyes to a very clear distinction between being dominant and being rough  We've actually already had our icebreaker over a few drinks and a few bowls so I can assure you that ALL of our cards have been lain out on the table haha. He texts me fairly regularly too so don't worry, he's definitely not a jerk or anything. We still haven't hooked up yet though cause I'm still unsure about the whole car issue..
The Virgin, I'm not by any means here merely to talk or brag about my sex life. That's why I came here to this forum genuinely seeking advice from you guys. Otherwise, I could've blogged about my sex life somewhere. I highly doubt that a serious relationship is going to come of our encounter since we're both bisexual college guys who are so far in the closet you'd need a flashlight and a featherduster to be able to see us haha.
On a different note, there's been this one guy who wants to pursue a relationship with me (he was my first encounter as a top I was telling you guys about and, as awful as I thought it was since I was drunk, he surprisingly said it was pretty hot). I like him since he's a really nice guy and really easy to talk to but he's reached the point in his life wherein he's ready to get serious with a guy. He's the first guy who I'd consider having a relationship with but I'd just feel bad because I'm not sure if anything long-term could happen between us since I still like girls too. Wouldn't that be unfair to him? I'm not sure...I'm still in this confused experimental stage of my life and I wouldn't want to lead him on or anything...
The Virgin, that's sound advice but at this stage of my life it's hard to focus on either one or the other--especially when you throw hot guys like the aforementioned one and girls who are interested into the equation. Too bad I can't have my cake and eat it too I guess :confused:
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