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getting laid
#31
SlipknotRlZZ Wrote:Whatever floats your boat dude. You say that you have loved deeply - so you have had sex with somebody you love deeply - so...

I have found many people who think "making love" is the ultimate state of sexual expression are the same people who become bored with their mates and constantly seek other people to satisfy their needs...the same people who fall out of love after they were so "in" love because making love is idealistic and based in fantasy and when you force real people into a fantasy...no one ever wins. No one can compete with a fantasy.

I like to keep it real. The biggest turn on for me is for someone to actually SEE who I am and vice versa...there is real love with real respect if you are willing to be that vulnerable with yourself and someone else...to take off all of your masks and let someone else see who you really are...it is the ultimate sexual experience and leads to the absolute ultimate sexual intimacy.
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#32
The Virgin Wrote:i think sex is fine but sometimes when you're just in it for the bump and grine, it's not all satisfying. while if you're doing it with someoen you really care about, you could go to any lenghts to fulfill the contentment you want for each other.

sex = f*ck the ass as soon as you're in bed
make love = kissing, cuddling, licking, talking dirty, exchanging naughty thoughts, and a lot of other things.....

I like your idea of making love...Wink
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#33
thank you evilbunnie... making love is simply giving pleasure...while sex is merely getting it...
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#34
East Wrote:I have found many people who think "making love" is the ultimate state of sexual expression are the same people who become bored with their mates and constantly seek other people to satisfy their needs...the same people who fall out of love after they were so "in" love because making love is idealistic and based in fantasy and when you force real people into a fantasy...no one ever wins. No one can compete with a fantasy.

I like to keep it real. The biggest turn on for me is for someone to actually SEE who I am and vice versa...there is real love with real respect if you are willing to be that vulnerable with yourself and someone else...to take off all of your masks and let someone else see who you really are...it is the ultimate sexual experience and leads to the absolute ultimate sexual intimacy.

Of course. The ultimate state of sexual expression, as you called it, is something, I believe, very similar to what you described there. Sex is vely tightly connected to love, or rather...love is very tightly connected wtih love, so...Okay, what I am trying to say is that sex doesn't mean love, but love does almost always mean good sex. AND that making love (to me) is to simply have good sex with someone you care for/love.

And, okay, you will have to forgive me too, for getting a little mean. I usually have this "rule" to always respect other people's positions, express little of my own opinion when not asked for it and never get mean unless the other person tries to interfere with my position. This time something happened and I strayed from it a bit, and....yeah. Sorry. :redface:
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#35
SlipknotRlZZ Wrote:Of course. The ultimate state of sexual expression, as you called it, is something, I believe, very similar to what you described there. Sex is vely tightly connected to love, or rather...love is very tightly connected wtih love, so...Okay, what I am trying to say is that sex doesn't mean love, but love does almost always mean good sex. AND that making love (to me) is to simply have good sex with someone you care for/love.

And, okay, you will have to forgive me too, for getting a little mean. I usually have this "rule" to always respect other people's positions, express little of my own opinion when not asked for it and never get mean unless the other person tries to interfere with my position. This time something happened and I strayed from it a bit, and....yeah. Sorry. :redface:

Nothing to fogive Irina...I was a bit snippy and I apologize for that...

Okay, what I am trying to say is that sex doesn't mean love, but love does almost always mean good sex. AND that making love (to me) is to simply have good sex with someone you care for/love.

I can agree with this and I do think that everyone has to figure out what making love means for them personally. You are a very wise person.
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#36
The Virgin Wrote:sex is great, but making love is greater.

spot on.
cant put it better Wink
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#37
East Wrote:I love animal sex. Whoever anonymous is...I hope you get laid:biggrin:.
Thanks East.

Your post are spot on target and you know the essence of what I was saying when I started this topic. IE: My wife wants to make love, I want to get laid. I would bet a dollar that if she strapped on a dildo and laid me that I would make love to her. I am not trying to be raunchy, just real. After all it is a bargain or a deal you make with you sex partner, pleasure for pleasure. OK I'm done.
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#38
stephanie stephens Wrote:Thanks East.

Your post are spot on target and you know the essence of what I was saying when I started this topic. IE: My wife wants to make love, I want to get laid. I would bet a dollar that if she strapped on a dildo and laid me that I would make love to her. I am not trying to be raunchy, just real. After all it is a bargain or a deal you make with you sex partner, pleasure for pleasure. OK I'm done.

Sure thing...I totally get it.
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#39
East Wrote:...and sometimes animal sex is the ultimate satisfaction...dominance and submission is the ultimate sexual expression...the ultimate form of intimacy with yourself and the other person....

I have had lovers most of my life...maybe been single two years since I was 16,...and have had a very full sex life that has been EXTREMELY satisfying.

I am not bitter nor do I bitch about men or complain much about love..I celebrate it and I am friends with my exes and respect them...they respect me...

...so obviously I am doing something right and having not made love has not diminished me in the least.

It's just a question of words, East, you don't like the euphemism of 'making love', while some feel happier using that phrase than just 'getting laid', which can seem a little crude and non romantic.
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#40
princealbertofb Wrote:It's just a question of words, East, you don't like the euphemism of 'making love', while some feel happier using that phrase than just 'getting laid', which can seem a little crude and non romantic.

I understand...I just make sure I offer another POV because I had to confront this very thing and what it meant on a large scale night after night for way too long...

I try to free myself from the images that are presented to me...I think images are dangerous when they become reality because I think reality is reality and images should be just that...

..and I used to tell every young bartender who I thought might listen that it was important to understand that people on the other side of that bar were going to be building you a white picket fence and idealize you and when they find out you are not who they want you to be...they will punish you for it and never for a second take ANY responsibility for creating the images in the first place...

...and that includes "making love"...it puts so many unrealistic expectations on the other person. I remember once after I had sex with a virgin and I found out he had decided I "made"" him feel a certain way I had to explain to him that it was his body that felt that way...I just knew how to relax his prostrate. He thought we "made love"...I had to tell him that we "f*cked"....I did him a great favor but of course when I didn't fall into his idea of how a man "should" act and what making love "really is" he took it out on me becuase I wasn't who he expected me to be...and making love is filled with expectations and when you let someone else be responsible for your feelings you are doing both of you a great disservice....

...so I keep it real. Getting laid is great and way too many people apologize for it..in my opinion:biggrin:
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