Really confused

[cry0s]

I'm curious, what do you mean by the 'straight lifestyle'? Apart from living with a guy not a girl, I am not aware of any lifestyle differences between me and my straight male friends.

Then I would assume you also dismiss talks of the 'gay lifestyle'? If that's the case, props to you. Things don't truly change until we are smart enough to stop putting everything into categories with neat little labels.

[lokilol]

Hello Soulsearcher, I can understand a bit about the confusion part, I'm still in the process of coming out, and finding someone to care for and care about me.

But remember there so many fish in the sea, its gonna be a long journey, but cheer up life is beautiful if you want it to be, and everyone deserves to be loved and someday you will find someone who can appreciate you!
It takes time, and belive me i'm learning it the hard way as well

[cry0s]

Thanks for the support, guys. Hopefully this is a community I can really latch on to and come to in time of need. I really appreciate it mile:

The folks here are really friendly man.

[fredv3b]

Then I would assume you also dismiss talks of the 'gay lifestyle'? If that's the case, props to you. Things don't truly change until we are smart enough to stop putting everything into categories with neat little labels.

My point was not about labels, there certainly is such a thing as the 'gay lifestyle'. My point was that there are plenty of gays, myself included, living a pretty conventional lifestyle. What do you feel you would be loosing by accepting yourself as gay and living as such.

[Pseudo Rob]

Then I would assume you also dismiss talks of the 'gay lifestyle'? If that's the case, props to you. Things don't truly change until we are smart enough to stop putting everything into categories with neat little labels.

If things dont have labels, how will we know what we're changing to?

[cry0s]

My point was not about labels, there certainly is such a thing as the 'gay lifestyle'. My point was that there are plenty of gays, myself included, living a pretty conventional lifestyle. What do you feel you would be loosing by accepting yourself as gay and living as such.

If things dont have labels, how will we know what we're changing to?

Why would you be losing anything? Why would you somewhat dismiss the thought of a straight lifestyle and then openly acknowledge that a gay lifestyle exists? Why is it even necessary for us to change from one classification to another? Why bother putting definitions behind any of this? Keep in mind, my post isn't an attack on semantics because honestly that would just be a waste of words, but a thought that could potentially change the way some people think.

Most everyone who is gay finds themselves searching for some place to fit in as do most people. The problem is that everyone, almost subconsciously, classifies others into groups and then appropriately attaches a little colored sticker to them so they know how to feel about that individual. The 'gay lifestyle' is often stereotyped and hyped up by societal definitions as something flamboyant, something whorish, and something unacceptable to most who hold certain standards. Those who are gay immediately find themselves within this classification without even knowing it. Does anyone else have a right to classify you?

I'm not really sure that's what any of us want. Some may want to fit into the characteristics above, and if that's the case then so be it, but I'm fairly certain that we aren't fans of being judged and/or classified prior to another even knowing who we are. We should be able to live our own lives and do our own thing freely without worry of false preconceived notions built around sexuality.

Rather than redefining these groupings, why not remove them? Just maybe, people will actually start getting to know each other again for who they really are instead of making assumptions based on false definitions that have been handed down from one generation to another.

[jamiebfd]

1st thing WELL DONE with getting yourself on the way to being fully recovered. its a hard thing to quit a habbit which consumes your life and way of thinking.

You seem like you need to remember number 1 its you. there cant be anyone more important at this time of your life. be selfish...get what you want.
As someone said earlier your true friends and the people who care about you will accept you regardless to who your partner is.
Also... being gay doesnt require you to act less straight. you are who you are! be happy

[simon]

we are never going to get rid of labels so if we are having them lets have lots more,its not wrong to be given a label but it needs to be the correct one,same with stereotypes, we need way more of those,they do exist,when people say you can't stereotye,thats a load of rubbish,we just need enough labels and stereotypes to make sure everyone gets the right one.