Confused x 2

[James]

I agree with Azulia, there is lots of time, wait, go slowly, he needs you more as a friend than a lover right now, James

[Dustyboy]

Wow, I can't find the right word to say to ya pal because I never had any experience like that before, all I can say is take things slowly but surely, you never have to rush especially on times like that. Just chill out and be more of yourself to him as a friend, and good luck and God bless!

[Glaedr]

after such a long time I would have thought you would have been able to tell if he was by now.

I think with really close friends, its harder to tell. There are sometime when I think my roomate is gay, when really im pretty sure he is not. Its just really difficult to tell with someone you're so close to and know how they act. I guess its because you get so used to what they do and how they act that nothing really sticks to you're gaydar. Just my opinion.

[simon]

I think with really close friends, its harder to tell. There are sometime when I think my roomate is gay, when really im pretty sure he is not. Its just really difficult to tell with someone you're so close to and know how they act. I guess its because you get so used to what they do and how they act that nothing really sticks to you're gaydar. Just my opinion.

I would agree if the other person were straight but 6 years is a long time,it's not like there hasn't been chances to go a bit further,such as when they were wanking or spooning?

[joshmcc]

I would agree if the other person were straight but 6 years is a long time,it's not like there hasn't been chances to go a bit further,such as when they were wanking or spooning?

the above point is very true.^^^
thanks a lot for your advie guys i think i have hopefully managed to talk myself out of it, and remain a friend.

[jbrowder24]

I feel like some people have glossed over that you've had more sexual partners (female) than him, and I'm still confused if he is even aware you are bi or not? If not, perhaps you can be honest with him on that, without being honest on your crush until you see how he reacts?

I do think good points have been made about he's just ended a long relationship and to give him time as well. It may just be that he's feeling lonely and trying to keep his mind off his ex.

If you have money invested in tickets already, perhaps you want to just play it as friends until at least after the summer vacation, which would also give him more time to get over his ex. But even if you perhaps shouldn't admit your crush while unsure of his sexuality, I don't think you should necessarily hide that you're bi either. Maybe you haven't, I just couldn't quite tell from your posts??

[joshmcc]

Hi,
I havent told anyone that i'm bi, i believed that i had made it a little bit obvious but maybe he just hasnt seen it, or has and ignores it, i think you are right, and it may be best if i hold off for a while and see what happens. theres always the scenario that he may think "well has he only been my friend because he fancies me" and then the friendship in his eyes would be based on a lie.

after reading some of the suggestions and views from some of the other members, i've realised that it is probably me making most of the moves and inititiations and seeing things through rose tinted glasses maybe, and therefore i should maybe let it lie. the other day when i was in bed i was talking and i was tiggling him and he didnt really go macho he just tried jokingly brushing me off. i then slipped my hand down the back of his shorts and he didnt push me off just it went a bit silent and he said "are you horny or something?" and i just before that i put my hand down the front but he retracted as he may have felt akward. but once again i may be reading too much as he had the perfect opportunity to let things flow but didnt. as i have said before i have waited for the day when he wants to contact me during the week just to give me a signal that he misses me or wants to see me but i never seem to get that 100%.

we get along ridiculously well so would have so much to lose if things went pear shaped or he was totally straight. its just not something i could come out with to a guy mate just to say 'oh hey by the way i'm bi" i would be so nervous waiting for the worst.

[zeon]

Hi

Recently I have become attracted to my best friend. He has recently split up with a teen love of 7 years and we have been spending a lot of time together over the last few months.

i have had similar feelings for him before but have never acted upon them as we have both had girlfriends. we get along brilliantly and we always finish eachothers sentences and have the same tastes, and there have been times before where i;ve picked up certain signals from him but none enough to act upon. we have never done anything sexual but we talk openly about things. recently we have slept in the same bed as friends but i have woken up the next day and it has felt right.

i have asked occasional leading questions to see if there is anything to work with but he has not responded. I feel as though i may be barking up the wrong tree and dont want to ruin our friendship by letting anything slip or asking him anything that leaves me vulnerable. We have been best friends for over 6 years so this is obviously a bit tricky.

the thing is i really cant tell what orientation he is, he seemed happy with his ex but she was his first and only partner so i dont know if this was forced or convenient. i dont know if i am seeing what i wnt to see and not the real picture.

i dont knw whats the best thing to do. has anybody got any advice or had similar situations...

Hello there,
If i was in your boat to start with I might explain to him about your sexuality if he doesnt know... Usually when someone does this other people reveal theirs and it all goes good... If he revealed he was also bi sexual then he might be more relaxed about you asking him out... Or alternatively you could just ask him what he thinks about same sex relationships and have a little feel about his views... Your learn alot in general conversation and to start it make up a fictional character as he wont know they dont exist... My fictitional character is Zeon Xavier which is my identity online.... My ex's ficitional character name is Jamie Baxter... Make one up and use it like an imagenary friend to a child to do some feeling about bits and pieces in conversation

Good luck xx

[simon]

Hi,
I havent told anyone that i'm bi, i believed that i had made it a little bit obvious but maybe he just hasnt seen it, or has and ignores it, i think you are right, and it may be best if i hold off for a while and see what happens. theres always the scenario that he may think "well has he only been my friend because he fancies me" and then the friendship in his eyes would be based on a lie.

after reading some of the suggestions and views from some of the other members, i've realised that it is probably me making most of the moves and inititiations and seeing things through rose tinted glasses maybe, and therefore i should maybe let it lie. the other day when i was in bed i was talking and i was tiggling him and he didnt really go macho he just tried jokingly brushing me off. i then slipped my hand down the back of his shorts and he didnt push me off just it went a bit silent and he said "are you horny or something?" and i just before that i put my hand down the front but he retracted as he may have felt akward. but once again i may be reading too much as he had the perfect opportunity to let things flow but didnt. as i have said before i have waited for the day when he wants to contact me during the week just to give me a signal that he misses me or wants to see me but i never seem to get that 100%.

we get along ridiculously well so would have so much to lose if things went pear shaped or he was totally straight. its just not something i could come out with to a guy mate just to say 'oh hey by the way i'm bi" i would be so nervous waiting for the worst.

lol you ask us for advice:eek:

so we have...

1, spooning
2, wanking together
3, hands down the front of shorts
4, hands down back of shorts
5, tickling him


anything you may have missed?

oh btw that to me is a bit more than hinting you are Bi!

[joshmcc]

lol thats my point, there was plenty of times he could have took it a step further but didnt, which is why i think i'll take peoples advice and stay friends.

thanks guys for making me see sense!