03-14-2011, 09:34 AM
I need help. I started a relationship not to long ago- first gay relationship- and it started out great. Everything was running as I planned and how I hoped for things to occur, but things aren't looking to great any more.
It really started when he told me he wanted to say he loved me, about 2 weeks after we started dating. Because I felt that he was the right person, and still in lust from starting things, I thought I felt the same way. Even a few weeks after that, I still felt the lust, but I think now that I have fully got to know him, it has all worn off.
It is not that there is anything worth ruining the relationship over, its just to me I feel like it isn't even real. I do not think I have ever really felt the feeling of "Wow, I am dating someone" or "I have a boyfriend." It has always been more of a material thing, rather than a mental/emotional thing- except for the lust that has worn off.
The thing that I need help with is that I do not want this to continue, because for me there is nothing there and I would like to be able to go out and get back to meeting people. However, there is honestly nothing specific wrong, so I feel really bad for wanting to end it. Hes a great person, I just feel like now that we really know each other I am just not as attracted to him as before. I know its cliche, but I really would like to go back to being just friends.
We were not great of friends before this, only knew each other and hung out because of other people. But obviously, now we are a lot closer. We both knew from the beginning that it was going to be temporary because he is leaving the country, but I know he does not see this coming at all. Not to say that I have been faking attraction. At first, I communicated what I was honestly feeling, and now I just feel like there is nothing to communicate and so I haven't. When he tells me he misses me, I just give him a cute smile.. so I guess I have been avoiding it, but I surely haven't been affirming emotions. Sexually, my emotions have not changed but instead of missing work and class for it, and thinking about sex/him all the time, now its more of a "if it happens it happens, but I am not going to try and make it happen."
Anyone with experience? Wanting to break up with someone you will continue to see every day, someone who you have mutual friends with who you don't want to loose, and someone who is too nice for you to hurt? I know the easiest thing would be just to flat out end it, but I feel like that should be reserved for more specific occasions when you do not care to burn bridges and just want them gone. I just opinions on the easiest way to tell him without saying anything that could be taken offensively or the wrong way.
It really started when he told me he wanted to say he loved me, about 2 weeks after we started dating. Because I felt that he was the right person, and still in lust from starting things, I thought I felt the same way. Even a few weeks after that, I still felt the lust, but I think now that I have fully got to know him, it has all worn off.
It is not that there is anything worth ruining the relationship over, its just to me I feel like it isn't even real. I do not think I have ever really felt the feeling of "Wow, I am dating someone" or "I have a boyfriend." It has always been more of a material thing, rather than a mental/emotional thing- except for the lust that has worn off.
The thing that I need help with is that I do not want this to continue, because for me there is nothing there and I would like to be able to go out and get back to meeting people. However, there is honestly nothing specific wrong, so I feel really bad for wanting to end it. Hes a great person, I just feel like now that we really know each other I am just not as attracted to him as before. I know its cliche, but I really would like to go back to being just friends.
We were not great of friends before this, only knew each other and hung out because of other people. But obviously, now we are a lot closer. We both knew from the beginning that it was going to be temporary because he is leaving the country, but I know he does not see this coming at all. Not to say that I have been faking attraction. At first, I communicated what I was honestly feeling, and now I just feel like there is nothing to communicate and so I haven't. When he tells me he misses me, I just give him a cute smile.. so I guess I have been avoiding it, but I surely haven't been affirming emotions. Sexually, my emotions have not changed but instead of missing work and class for it, and thinking about sex/him all the time, now its more of a "if it happens it happens, but I am not going to try and make it happen."
Anyone with experience? Wanting to break up with someone you will continue to see every day, someone who you have mutual friends with who you don't want to loose, and someone who is too nice for you to hurt? I know the easiest thing would be just to flat out end it, but I feel like that should be reserved for more specific occasions when you do not care to burn bridges and just want them gone. I just opinions on the easiest way to tell him without saying anything that could be taken offensively or the wrong way.
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Cancer
