In love with my straight best friend

[artzr]

i have been in love with my best friend for 2 years now. we both knew each other from our community dance academy. we both were in the same dance crew and performed together many times. Hes a B-Boy and Im a hip hop dancer. He is totally straight and has had many depression due to rejection by the girl he loves and i have always been there for him. I moved to Australia, it was difficult for both of us. but he would always call me, and chat with me every night. im the closest friend he ever had and im the only one he opens up for everything.


ive been taking care of him all this while. hes fragile, and cant do stuff on his own. hes very emotional, hes been depressed about a girl for a year and ive always listened to his problems even though thousand miles away.


i would come back and see him every 6 months and we would have the time of our lives. hes very sweet, caring and loving. he cuddles with me, he lets me lean on him, hug him and kiss him (on the cheek). I even made him kiss me on the cheek a lot of times. We would have sleepovers and laugh all night, talk, and I would usually tickle him and hug him to sleep.


i love him so much and i would do anything for him. but hes straight and im bi. he knows im bi but i dont think he knows i love him this way. i mean we exchange i love yous all the time, but he always look up to me as a big brother.
recently, he started dating this other girl. and ive been so very depressed. ive been drinking non-stop and crying, but at the same time i tell him im happy for him and im being supportive all the time.
the awkward thing is, the girl is actually a good friend of mine as well, and i talk to her about how im in love with him.



is it possible for him to love me in a way that i do? do you think there are signs that he might love me? he treats me nothing like his other friends, and he would always tell me im his number one.


but now that he has a girlfriend, i can guess that will change soon enough.
but i really love him

[Lonelyguy16]

I am probably going to give you an answer you are probably not going to like to hear. You should really be ecstatic that you have a friend as good as him. I know you are dying for something romantic, but what would you get in a relationship that you don't have now? Sex, yes. But other than that, it sounds like you have everything a relationship has. Trust, Someone to Depend on, Someone you can tell anything too, and Someone you KNOW will drop everything to help you out. This friendship will last forever... relationships don't always work out. So I know its tough, and it seems like he is the only love you'll ever have, but soon enough I believe you will realize how blessed you are to have him as an amazing friend in your life, and how blessed he is to have you.

If you want someone to relate to, there is another thread going on right now with a guy in a similar situation . It is called "Confused x 2" in Help and Advice.

Good Luck

[Glaedr]

what he said ^^ . Couldnt put it better myself.

[posterpicture]

If he is a best friend of you, then why you have to hide anything from him? Just tell him how you feel. From what you describe, I know your friendship is strong enough for him to handle the fact that you are in love with him. Let him know the fact will make you feel better and also be a more honest friend of him.

I have been there done that. I HAD a best friend who I traveled thousand miles with, we used to talk to each other all night and we were always there for each other. I was in love with him. I told him that but he WAS straight. I did not try to force him love me or anything. I gave up. One day, he told me, he was in love with me, he just did not have enough courage to accept that. But on that same day, I realized that I was no longer loving him. For so long, I had been hiding my feeling for him which made me also hid so many thing else from him. Thus, our friendship felt apart.
I hope my advice and my story can save yours.

[artzr]

its not about sex, its like, i wish i could hold his hands and see him look at me and tell me how much he loves me and all. its really hurting me seeing him doing that to his gf. i know, its immature to be jealous and all. but as much as he loves me, i have a feeling that he would prioritize the girl over me. he reassured me so many times that he wouldnt ditch me. but i feel as if he gives more attention to her than me. and thats really sad. it used to be just the two of us against the world.


hes never had anyone in his life before. the thought of him kissing the girl and cuddling her bothers me so much i just cant handle it.


i recently blocked all possible ways for anyone to contact me. i deactivated my facebook cuz i cant stand seeing him and her exchanging sweet wall posts. I just get all broken up seeing that.


hes been trying to contact me, but ive been ignoring him. being overseas and all, its easy to just disappear. i know hes worried and all, but i just need some time out you know, to clear my mind off things. it is difficult yes, at most, we could only stand 2 days without talking to each other. it has been 4 days since i ignored him, its pretty hard.


but i feel as if i need to do this.



I am really blessed to have him in my life. I love him and i know he loves me too. he always says that im the only special one in his life. well, until he has a gf that is.


we used to have like a special spot, up in the hills near his place, we'd always go there during sleepovers and drink beer while talking about life will sunrise. its like our special place you know. and he brought his gf to that place. i feel very violated and hurt.


i dont know, maybe im just so depressed that i see everythign in a negative way,


im still trying to cope with this'


i cant help but to imagine if ever one day he would fall for me.


then again, can a straight guy ever fall for another guy? is there some magic you can do?


regardless. hes the only one that has been in my mind for the past 2 years.