10-08-2007, 04:48 AM
*sighs* So it starts like this...last Sunday i was talking to my mate online. It was about 6pm and he had to go bc he had work in the morning (he lives over in Europe and i live in the US. Six hour time difference). He told me that he loved me and that he would never leave me. I told him that i loved him too and he left after i said that. I saw him the next day as usual and got to see him. Then he said that he had something that he had to talk about to me. He wanted to break up with me v.v . I was confused now and ask him y would u do that after what u told me yesterday. He wanted to leave me or in his case a "break" bc he couldn't hug or kiss me. Also he said something about my attitude and maybe that was my fault...but that wasn't the main thing. He said he loved me still but i don't think he really meant that. Ever since last Monday, i have felt like crap and lonely. I even cried myself to sleep bc i was so lonely due to that night when i was with my friends, almost everyone had a gf. I didn't have anyone to really explain myself to. I tried to but my friend just shoved it in my face and told me that i was immature. He said that i always take things in black and white. When i try talking to him now, hes always in a monotone type of person. He shows no expressions to me anymore. My mate was the one that made me function everyday. He was a part of my life. I became a better person bc of him and now that he is gone, i cant even try to focus on school. I try to but there is always a couple in the halls that always hugs and kisses each other. I try begging him to come back but he says nothing to me. I don't know what to do anymore. When i don't have anyone to love. Everything in my life starts to slow down and i become someone i dont want to be. And that is to do everything average in my life. I just need someone right now that could love me right now or even a hug would help.
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