loveless lovelace

[Lovelace]

Hi everyone

I feel safe enough to express my emotions here. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this... to vent maybe... I don't know...

A while ago I wrote a blog about me never having been kissed before, and I still haven't been in case your wondering... and I kept thinking over and over again; why have I never found love before...

I've tried everything... clubs, friends, social networking... all fell flat... I've never once felt what it feels like to be in love... Its the one thing I envy about other people...

So many people find love so easily, but for some reason, I'm like anti-lovespray...

I never gave up hope of finding someone, but I have been battling loneliness for a very long time and last night I had a hectic emotional breakdown...

I kept thinking "is there something wrong with me?, am I not attractive enough?, Am i destined to be alone? To be the cranky old man shouting "put you music softer"???" I don't want to be like that...

Eventually thoughts of suicide poured through my mind and there was a point when I stood up and said I'm gonna do it tonight... But for some reason I held back... instead I turned to writing... I friggin' hate poetry, but its the only thing that makes me feel better... unfortunately I left the poem at home... I'll post it tomorrow

I'm feeling a lot better today, but the pain is still there... refusing to let go...

I carry on smiling though, making jokes and laughing, being the best person I can be, but I don't know for how long I can keep fighting...

Is it normal to be 21 and have never been kissed??? Are there others that feel the same way I do???

[fenris]

Hi Lovelace,

you can fight ...and you will fight, like all the others :-)

Unkissed with 21 is OK... I knew people wich are straight an unkissed in their 40 th ....

Feeling alone ... hm .... so many gay or bi -guys here feel alone and I ask myself why the "alone-feelers" not contact the other to exchange... maybe to meet and I´m sure it would help a lot. What I can say is : Use the time without a partner for yourself.... learn about yourself, what you want, what you need ... go out, meet people ( straight, gay or bi ) to build up new friendships and so on.
I´m sure everybody who want a partner will get a partner.... sometimes earlier... sometimes later... but they get one and honestly... there is no need to rush.

mile:

[XRIMO]

You sound just like me in many ways. I'm sitting here nearly 26 years old and I have NEVER kissed anyone either. I've been going through a turbulent emotional time in the last few months, but I've been seeing a therapist who is helping me realize how to deal with my emotions and negative thoughts. Best thing to do is not internalize your despair, because its not going to benefit you in the long run. I'm just coming to realize this, I always figured it was something that was wrong with me, but its not. I just justified it to make me feel 'better' when all I did was continue to isolate myself and never give myself the chances I so wanted. I'm trying to break out of that, so I hope you can too. If you need, find a good therapist to talk to and they should be able to help you.

Good Luck

[Pseudo Rob]

Ages ago, I came to the conclusion that love doesnt exist and that anybody who says that they're in love are either, in some way, ill or are playing an elaborate practical joke on me.

[fredv3b]

So many people find love so easily,

With, possibly, a very few exceptions this is not true. They only claim to have found love.

Rob, I am not ill or playing a practical joke on you. There really is such a thing as love, though I admit it is surrounded by much hyperbole.

[East]

I can promise that love DOES exist...

As for finding someone or getting kissed...take this time to have a good relationship with yourself. Really. It is THE answer to almost everything in life. If you don't love yourself it can hinder your chances of meeting someone else.

You also may want to take the time to write down the answers to a few questions...

Make a list and ask yourself what you have to bring to the table

On another list ask yourself what you require of someone else.

Be honest and objective.

[zeon]

Hi everyone

I feel safe enough to express my emotions here. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this... to vent maybe... I don't know...

A while ago I wrote a blog about me never having been kissed before, and I still haven't been in case your wondering... and I kept thinking over and over again; why have I never found love before...

I've tried everything... clubs, friends, social networking... all fell flat... I've never once felt what it feels like to be in love... Its the one thing I envy about other people...

So many people find love so easily, but for some reason, I'm like anti-lovespray...

I never gave up hope of finding someone, but I have been battling loneliness for a very long time and last night I had a hectic emotional breakdown...


I kept thinking "is there something wrong with me?, am I not attractive enough?, Am i destined to be alone? To be the cranky old man shouting "put you music softer"???" I don't want to be like that...

Eventually thoughts of suicide poured through my mind and there was a point when I stood up and said I'm gonna do it tonight... But for some reason I held back... instead I turned to writing... I friggin' hate poetry, but its the only thing that makes me feel better... unfortunately I left the poem at home... I'll post it tomorrow

I'm feeling a lot better today, but the pain is still there... refusing to let go...

I carry on smiling though, making jokes and laughing, being the best person I can be, but I don't know for how long I can keep fighting...

Is it normal to be 21 and have never been kissed??? Are there others that feel the same way I do???

Hiya,
Being 21 and never having a relationship isnt a bad thing.. Dont get down show your true colours and everything will work out fantastic its what i found in life

Kindest regards

zeon

xx there ya go two kisses from moi to you now ya not a kiss virgin anymore

[marshlander]

I'm not sure that many people really do find love so easily. In my experience, love has tended to happen when I least expected or thought I needed it. It's real enough, though.

[Bookworm]

It takes time for some people, and you are still young, you have your whole life ahead of you so don't despair. Stay positive and nurture a healthy mental attitude about yourself; its important not to lose sight of the fact that you are a unique individual in a world full of opportunities. Its hard work sometimes, especially when you hit a low ebb, but just believing in yourself is half the battle. Don't bottle things up inside or the negative emotions will just eat away at you. Find someone you trust and who you can talk too, whether a friend, family member or professional; communicate how you are feeling and release that tension.

Maybe try engaging in some new activities that interest you which will bring you into contact with new people; collecting afew more good friends along the way can sometimes be more important than focusing all your energy on finding the love of your life.
Life is full of surprises waiting to be discovered mile:

[bluefox4000]

I fell in love with and married my best friend. never in all my years did I except that. So it's out there....I promise you that

Mick