It's going to be exactly 1 month until I am officially done with high school, and I want to leave as soon as I possibly can. I have enough finances to do it too. I'm not out, and not ready to come out right now in my life until I leave. I want to come out when I don't have to live here anymore. I have big plans I want to do, and staying here another day longer would be hard for me.
My family wants me to stay for the graduation ceremony, and I really don't want too or need to. I also want to get a job and start my life off, and not waste those days at home (since I don't plan on staying in this state).
And if I stay for the ceremony, then I will have to get through the prom day too, which is one day after school ends. And it's going to be obvious that I am gay if I don't go to it, in my household. I never dated a girl either, so I would think it was obvious.
a) Stay for the graduation ceremony/prom; find a girl to ask out somehow.
b) Leave as soon as possible; this would make me happiest, but it's selfish because I didn't give my family the ceremony
c) Come out/see reaction/and go with B if they reject.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Consider this,
I agree with you that it is probably best for you to come out on your own terms when you are indepedent and can show your parents that you can make it on your own.
With that said what would you think about faking it through the ceremony and prom as a showing of gratitude towards your family? Ideally if you can find a girl who is just a friend that you can go to prom with there will be no hurt feelings.
Do you have a plan for moving...where would go, what kind of job, where would you live, how would you pay for living expenses etc. Don't get me wrong I encourage the move just be as prepared as you can so you don't find yourself in a bad situation. Best if you can move to a large city with plenty of gay life. Just be careful because you can easily go a little crazy at first and get yourself into big trouble.
Good luck
•
Posts: 1,296
Threads: 77
Joined: Jun 2009
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign:  Virgo
Mood:
Always hard choices, coming out on your own terms is usually best, you only graduate high school once so if you are jumping out before that think hard so as you have no regrets, be sure to keep your diploma in a safe place as you need it for work apps, also be sure to have a certified copy of your birth certificate. Price everything where you want to go before you get there. Costs of electricity, gas, water, desposil fees, housing, gasoline, etc. If youmake a big move to another state see if they have support like the glbtq center here, good luck slow down and think everything through, Jim
•
If I were in your situation, I would stay for it all. In my experience, I never concidered a guy not going to prom as gay. Some people opt out due to expenses or lack of a date or whatever reason, and its not that bad. If you do go, go with a friend and just have a blast.
Graduation Ceremony means a lot to people, no just your parents but siblings (if you have any) and other friends. You may not think it now, but it is actually a pretty sweet time that you will remember for the rest of your life (yes its boring but its still memorable as an accomplishment, not every gets to do it).
For a long time now, I have been expected to bring dates to coutless parties and tailgates and situations. People do not think I'm gay just because I sometimes dont go or dont bring a date (Right now im into the Men if you know what I mean [tired of dating girls that dont act like women, so want a man]). No one finds it weird, at worst they think im intraverted (I am a little).
There are probably many other factors that are urging you to leave ASAP, but I encourage you to think about all angles before you make a decision. Dont just act on your emotions/feelings but think hard about everything before you decide. Life is full of tough choices and the easy one is not always the best. Just my opinion.
Good luck to you, and let us know what you decide
•
This is OP
Actually I have to go or else it's going to look bad in my household... my family is like that. And I have a sibling going to the prom, and so I can't even lie about it. And I had absolutely no friends to go with, since I never bothered making friends during high school. Really.
And I don't need to stay much longer than I need to, since I absolutely hated that whole experience, every single bit of it. The only reason why I would stay in this state is from the degree (which I could get in the mail probably) I already found a place to stay at, which is at my out of state boyfriend, and I could just tell the school to send the diploma to that address instead of my current place.
I'm just waiting for the exams.
•
well if your in a bad setting i completely inderstand your reasoning. Im sorry your in such a rough situation and i wish you the best through all of it.
•
I'll probably will just come out, see what happens. If they total reject it, I'll just leave (I'll stay quiet/locked up in my room/avoid questions about until the day of the last exam). I just want to make sure I know I graduated grade-wise, since I can receive my transcript in the mail at any year I need too.
If they are tolerable/accepting I'll stay, and then leave, just so they will get their ceremony.
I just don't want to feel guilt about this, since if I leave without giving them a ceremony they will probably wonder why and it will be a bad memory. I wouldn't feel guilty at all if they out-right reject me.
•
god will see you through the worst in life, remember that and you should do okay
•
|
