I dont know who I am amymore....

[Miller91]

Im seeming to have a lot of trouble at work. I brought a book to work with the word gay on it and my co-worker threw a fit and ;said that it was inappropriate. she went as far as to tell the supervisor who came and told me I couldnt bring it to work anymore. I want to graduate from college so I can get out of there with my own office so I can read my books about homosexuality or about me in privacy and with out all those crazy pl. around looking but not saying anything. There are no gay people to talk to at work. I feel so alone there. It gets so fustrating making up stories about wanting and desiring women Its probably my fault though.
and I should have been out of school along time ago so I can work and educated people. Ive come out to a women there. and she came out to me about her homosexuality. That was good, but whats next? Sometimes I feel like maybe Im suppose to be something else gay/str8.... I go to work one way leave another. im jealous of everyone. I want to move forward but feel like I never will. I dont know if its about my sexuality or about my family not accepting me. I want to know who I am so I can show someone else. I want to fall in love but its taking forever. Im jealous of my married friends...id like a child one day...so I can teach him about who I am so he can continue on in my interest. I just feel so held back and no one has my back. Its like who do you turn to when it really hurts? I jsut started talking to it to my parents but they arent exactly the most openminded pl. i know its going to take them awhile to absorb the information I give thim about my sexuality. and it sucks to wait. Although I callled her from work and told her I was reading a book on bisexuality...and i was really nevervous that she would freak out but she didnt she was really cool about it. She does know that I had a b/f a long time ago but she always talk so negativley about it..so when she does that I feel dumb as if that part of my life was a waste of time and I need to hurry up and make up for that time by finding a women...please give me any advice to help me understand me and whats going on right now......

[seeking]

from what i've read "so fustrating making up stories about wanting and desiring women" i think you tend to be a gay more than a bi...? But you feel too little support from people around, especially your family which means a lot to you, so you are struggling should u go for your urges or just leave it...and get married with a woman soon.

that's what i think after reading, hope it helpsmile:

[jbrowder24]

Sorry to read you are going through so much. It's hard at times wanting love and seeing friends get married and have kids when you haven't found it, and thats true no matter your orientation but sometimes being gay makes it seem worse, depending on where we live, just because there are less numbers.

I am curious as to where you are working and if there are any policies regarding what you can read etc. Obviously reading on company time is a no-no, but if it's during a lunch break, it shouldn't matter unless it's against policy (i.e. having porn on company grounds may be forbidden). Unfortunately we won't always encounter open-minded people in our working lives, but some companies are better than others.

You mention college, is that something you are in now? What are you studying? Will you graduate soon? Would you relocate or want to stay in Lansing? You definitely are young, and have a lot of options. It's easy to feel discouraged when we find ourselves in a less than ideal situation - work, family, etc - but it's important to keep hope alive. And try to find some open-minded or gay/bi friends you can talk to outside of work and family... it'll help to have people you can be yourself around. Good luck

[SlipknotRlZZ]

How old are you?
It will be awesome once you become independent. You know that. Is your choice of contacts limited to your colegues? I don't think so, I mean, you could try and find a local gay organization or something. Meet new people. Change something about your daily routine.
And screw people who don't get it. I know what it feels like to have that feeling that you can't breath from all the restrictions that people put on you because you are not quite independent, and it totally sucks, it's soooo frustrating and all..But you CAN, I BET you can find your time, when you can just be yourself, have fun maybe..You just have to do some rearrangements in your schedle maybe, add stuff, remove stuff.

And then you will graduate. And it will all be okay. We are with you! You can count on me if you need to talk to anybody or anything! :]]]

[zeon]

hello there,
You can only be who you will let yourself be.. If you choose to listen to their bull... then your keep yourself in the prison... Your company has no right discriminating you based on your sexuality and reading a book about gay issues is no ones business except yours and should your boss need reminding then remind him that what you do during a company break which is may I need to remind.... Unpaid then you have no authority over me.. If you however choose to continue to discriminate against my sexuality something which I have fought many battles to over come then you will be hearing from my solicitor and action shall be taken against you via internal sources first and failing that and a satisfactory hearing and result... Court action shall follow....

Any questions?

Throw that at him

Be yourself and remember no one is allowed to take it from ya if they dont like it tell them to go elsewhere as your not the one with the problem iots them

kindest regards

zeon