I've turned 18, and I have yet have a single boyfriend at all, people don't know that I'm gay, but some got the hint, but not completely sure of it. I noticed that whenever I have love problem to talk about, I got no one to talk to, because all my friends are straight and I'm not ready to come out, because of this, I noticed that I'm becoming lonely each day. Most of my friends found their partners and began to hang out with them leaving me alone (i don't blame them).
The thing is I'm just scared that I'll never find a person I can love and make me feel secure (I'm really insecure, due to bully in school), I;m really afraid of being alone and I've often cried when thinking about it. People have told me that I'm still young and that I have plenty of time, but the truth is, my family doesn't really like me and my friends only hang out with me at school, this made me feel that if I have problem with those, how could I ever get one... I tried not to think about spending my life being alone, but I can't stop thinking about it, I'm picky, I want a guy who can make me feel protected, secure and really tell me that I'm important to him, but I know I would never find one, because I'm not even worth it, I'm shy, weak, stupid and everything i try to do in my life to help people just fails miserably.
I have a baby face I look like a 15 year old (people said that to me) and I'm a bit feminine, I've check online to see what people usually think about gay guys like me, but apparently most hate people like me. I don't know what do anymore, I really wish i can see into the future to see what life will be like, because I really feel like giving up, bad family, bad friendship, pressure from society, no love, no one to talk to, etc, I just can't handle it anymore, I want to come out, but people around always say "gays are disgusting", which is really painful to hear.
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Hi,
for the most guys in your age it seems that they never get the one who love them, but thats not true. It´s only a bit harder to find if you are in the closet... mostly it is easier to find a partner for heterosexual people in this age, the reason is easy to explain: They found the partners in school.... sports... gyms ..whatever. Gay people have to learn how to find there friends... and that takes time and courage. But you will find the one ... believe me.
It seems that you need a bit more self-confidence. Don´t read what other people think about gay-guys... we are not all the same.. you are you... with your own way, your own lifestyle, your own thoughts and your own feelings. Nobody knows you as good as you know.. so how somebody will describe you and your way of live without knowing you ?
This "gays are disgusting" we all have heard a lot ... but who cares about that ? The most people wich talk that way don´t know any gay guy or they have heard only prejudices from others, so don´t care about.
Be the guy you are... give yourself the time to find a love.... and it takes time, find friends and so on and I´m sure you will have a happy gay life  mile:
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Recognise one thing: the only constant is change. Things always change.
Many people go through crap social times but it never lasts forever, but the way you feel about it currently makes it seem like it will last forever.
Fenris has it right: you are a unique individual, and when people get the chance, they will see the qualities that you have in you. And despite how you dislike yourself, you do have qualities in you. Everyone does.
Everything you do to help people fails miserably? At least you TRY to help. Many don't. You have good intentions. Everyone has some weakness, most people are shy in some way and yes everyone is stupid in one way or another. But that is just part of being human. In conjunction with these issues, you will have good qualities too. Do yourself a favour, give yourself a break and recognise the good that is in you!
What people dislike is the nasty, bitch, self-involved, shallow act that some gay people put up. Feminism is NOT disliked by most people.
I am living proof of change. I used to be just like you. Now I am the complete opposite. It will happen to you too. You just need to control it. Your life is yours.
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I had two people tell me I looked 15 when I was 19 - and I didn't even know I was gay then. By a few years later, I looked a lot more mature (though thankfully still young for my age; that can be a good thing!).
I'm definitely sorry to hear you feel wounded, and as if you need someone else to protect you. I can understand how feelings like this would develop, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn how to feel secure on your own - YOU be the one to love you enough to feel secure. I know it's cheesy and you may think it impossible, but it's not. You have a sweet, sensitive soul, and that can be a good thing!
As for coming out, I don't know what your area of Australia is like, but perhaps you could consider moving? I know I've definitely talked to quite a few gay Australians I've met on different sites over the years, and I live by cornfields across the globe! But if they can be happy and out and dating where you life, there's definitely hope. Just keep your options open. You are far too young to give up when there is so much more to come!
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It is not just gay men who can feel isolated during adolescence, but we have additional challenges that are often under-appreciated by the other people around us. However difficult it might appear to be I would not pay much mind to those who express a dislike of "feminine guys". Many of us find those qualities very attractive indeed 
If you are in NSW you are obviously much closer to places like Sydney than you would be if you lived in, say, Darwin or Port Hedland (where I have cousins!) and when you are old enough you have the option of going to study in one of those places where a livelier gay population exists.
Try not to despair. Do your best to get through your education and into work which should leave you more options for mobility in times to come. In the meantime make the most of building a supportive network of contacts through sites like GaySpeak. That's one of the things we seem to be able to do quite well.
Good luck.
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I am 19. Masculine. I have the 15 years old look too and I would love to date a twink who looks like 15 with a bit of feminine.
Screw your internet research on public opinion 
Love will come eventually, it doesn't matter if you look for it or not. I have been actively looking for love and I haven't found it yet also. Sometimes, I wonder, if I miss my love or my love just walks pass me in a hall way at the library and I don't notice him. Yes, being gay is difficult. We never know who is the candidate for our love. But it will come because love has a power that can override everything.
I totally understand your feeling of being alone. You try to scream out to friends for attention but they can't listen to you because they are busy with their life. I understand the feeling that you want to cry every time you get home after a long day, worn out and tired. No one there to text, to call, or just to give you a hug.
But these moments make us learn and make us stronger. Of course, you can't make yourself feel less lonely but you can always drive your thought and energy to more positive activities. Every time I feel like shit because friends are not there for me, I go straight to the gym or read a book (the kind that will benefit your career). I learn to be more social-able so I can make more friends out of my current network. That way when a group is busy, I can always rely on other groups.
One more thing, always believe that you are adorable the way you are. You don't have to be cocky, masculine, and confident to be sexy. Believe or not, there are tons of guys who are into guys who emit the shy, clumsy, and week impression. Well, at least I know I do 
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Im 22 and still havent had a real relationship. lost my virginity to a friend I knew Id never see a gain at 20, just because I didnt want to go to boot camp as a virgin. Trust me, you have plenty of time.
AndI know alot of people who love the young looking effeminate type. I know I see a guy like you describe yourself and I just want to hug and cuddle him to death :3
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Hello there,
Dont let yourself get down or worried over this situation.... Alot of people tend to say nasty things about gays but then change their minds when one comes out... Some point your need to face ya demon and just let it out in the open and only then will you feel a change wiothin yourself as the old you will die and a new one will be born... What your doing is your locking yourself away and giving off bad signs... Concentrate on finding the right time in coming out and once ya have a date in your mind buidl yourself upto it... When you have come out your find people will either love it or hate it and those who hate it can go fuck emselves thats the way i saw it when i came out and this included my own mother if she didbnt like it
Kindest regards and chin up hunni
Zeron x
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Aethe....your young! Enjoy life we have all been there....ok, maybe most. But I did not start dating till my mid 20's. Though I'm straight, I was a scrawny bastard, 110 lbs at 19. I had a figure girls would kill for. I was not exactly prime beef. Right now, focus on school, get a career, travel, have some one night stands push your limits. I know it's hard at 18 to think like this but I feel once a person establishes themselves, confidence builds and life is more manageable....
DM
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