My boyfriend is straight but had sex with a man...

[wondering]

Honestly I think that there are more grey areas than black or white. mile:
Drugs or not.... I think the best way is to ask him - he is the only one who really knows what he is.... all other speculations is reading in coffee-ground and irritates more as it helps. If he did it ( having sex with that guy ) because it was a mistake... it is Ok and not a big problem.
But ... if he is bisexual.... it is not a big problem too, if he is the man you want and need.. and if he respect and love you he will never do something what hurts you.
Maybe it is a bit strange for you to think about him and a guy... talk with him about and then don´t think on it again. But I think it is not bad if your partner talks about this intimate things with you - it shows that he trusts you.

Thank you!

[naterin11]

I think you might wanna try to find out if such a drug really does exist. That's the first thing that came to mind. :tongue:

[wondering]

I think you might wanna try to find out if such a drug really does exist. That's the first thing that came to mind. :tongue:

I actually thought about researching the drug as well to see what the side effects are. Thank you! I need to ask him what its called. All I know is that its a needle drug.

[wondering]

I think you might wanna try to find out if such a drug really does exist. That's the first thing that came to mind. :tongue:

I actually thought about reseraching drug to see what the side effects are... I need to find out what its called. All I know is that its a needle drug. Thank you!

[jbrowder24]

That's if he knows what it's called, if his friend was honest with me.

As for drugs that can make you horny, I did a quick google. Perhaps it was crystal meth, or some type of concoction involving it?
http://www.actoronto.org/home.nsf/pages/crystal

Also ecstasy is pretty well known for making people hornier and can also be injected.

Can't say I have any personal experience with anything hardcore myself, just what I've heard and googled

[wondering]

That's if he knows what it's called, if his friend was honest with me.

As for drugs that can make you horny, I did a quick google. Perhaps it was crystal meth, or some type of concoction involving it?


Also ecstasy is pretty well known for making people hornier and can also be injected.

Can't say I have any personal experience with anything hardcore myself, just what I've heard and googled

Thank you... now that I think about it, he did mention meth but Im not sure if it was regarding this or something else. Ill have to ask him. Thank you!!

[SlipknotRlZZ]

From my understanding, he wasnt experimenting. He says he has never had a desire to be with a man and never has since. He says, he didnt even want to do it that time but the guy wanted it, he was very high and he was also horny. He says he has regretted it ever since it happened and felt a lot of guilt because of it for a long time. He never spoke with this man again after that night. He has been able to let go of the guilt since becoming sober.

I am not familar with hard drugs and how they affect us and cause us to do things. Im not sure if anyone here is able to help me understand that when it comes to sex... but

It would be differnet if it was something he was curious about and wanted to try but from what he says, this has never been the case.

Yes, I know that he wasn't experimenting, I just thought I'd throw it in lol.
Listen, I really don't see why you are so worried. He says he regrets it, he was high, he's never done it with other men before that happened or ever since...Even if he IS bisexual, he is with you, right? Would it be a problem for you if he was bi? :/
The only thing that you can do here is try and ease his guilt (Im not sure if that was the right expression..hmm).
Really, don't worry. :]

[azulai]

I apologize in advance if anything I say hurts your feelings but I feel like I must say them.

I've never done any kind of drugs and not much alcohol, so this is just my very "limited experience" opinion. He seems to remember a lot about the situation. This raises a red flag to me. Are these hazy memories or not?

This other man had a hidden agenda of wanting to sleep with him... he offered my bf drugs.... a drug he has never tried before. They used them together. They make you want to have sex. (this was the first time he tried these drugs and he had no idea that it made you want to have sex). He actually said he wanted to go find a girl they were partying with earlier but this other man, the gay one who offered him these drugs talked him out of it.

Some men cannot accept that they are curious about being with another man and/or acted on that curiosity. That's not to say that your bf was not taken advantage of but I tend to be a little skeptical. The first thing that popped into my mind is his scenario is the classic “gay panic” defense that spins the situation so that he is a victim who will receive your sympathy and establish innocence. I apologize if I'm way off base. Male rape, date rape drugs and predatory individuals are real. But, there's just something about this story ...I don't mean to be crude but did he top or bottom? That may make a difference in my response.

But, whatever happened, I don't think his experimentation is the important issue here.

Look, I have two younger sisters, who I love dearly. You seem like a nice lady, so I just have to tell you what I would tell them no matter how mad they/you might get at me. The big brother just comes out in me, ok?

Sometimes our hearts blind us and we're a little too quick with giving our trust. This man has a history of drug use. Did this ever involve shared needles? Does he use condoms? Has he been tested for HIV PRIOR to becoming intimate with you?

And, I'm not looking for you to answer these questions on this board, I just want you to think and take your heart out of it.

You can be as supportive and proud of him as you want—4 years sober/drug free—that's great. But, has he thought about YOUR health and safety? Have you? The reality is you are in a relationship with someone who has a high risk **DRUG USE** past, please don't play around with your life. You both need to be tested for HIV and hepatitis b and c. There are two people in the relationship and you are equally important. And, his word is not good enough, you need lab results.

Sexual experimentation is not a big deal, your life is.

[marshlander]

The way you describe it sounds like it was a drug-fuelled incident, but then I have not experienced for myself the influence of drink or drugs. I would have to bow to those with greater experience, but something must have given rise to the saying that the difference between a straight man and a gay one is four pints of beer.

I have, in years gone by, met the occasional "straight man" who was a pest till he got what he thought he wanted and immediately afterwards went horribly silent. That is just spooky. It suggests to me that there are men who once they embark on a course of action will just see it through. I really don't know if that was the end of the interest of those people. Sorry that hasn't helped much. I'm sure youve already taken azulai's warning's into consideration.

Best wishes to you both and congratulations to your man for staying sober these past four years.

[Braindead]

was he drinking beer my dear that could also make a human horney

as us aliens we FIGHT THROUGH THE PAIN