I don't even know what to say to that. I'm totally at a loss for words. That sounds like a movie. For reals.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Yeah, it's bizarre, isn't it ?
A movie.....well, not with me, it was aweful enough that this all happened to me, but I guess in a next life I will have a good laugh about all of this  mile:
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Geborgen means SAFE.
Erik, I am not quite sure why these pictures are a threat to you? You know you aren't gay. Could they blackmail you with the pictures? Who in today's world cares if you did some gay pictures? A lot of people these days do gay work for pay, they are not gay themselves... I suspect you still want to wash yourself of the stain and unclean impression it left you just after the event of the picture taking, when you spent so long trying to undefile yourself.
But, isn't it time you forgave yourself for what was a lapse in judgement?
Incidentally, the candour of your sotry, if it is indeed true, is a bit alarming. You did some really nasty stuff, as far as social expectations and laws are concerned... Are you at peace with those actions?
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Hey PrinceAlbert,
thankx, that was the word I was looking for.....safe.
And no, nobody can or could blackmail me with those pictures, that would be a story without end.
And concerning if they pose a threat to me, to tell you the truth, I haven't thought about this in such a way, I guess it's a reputation thing.
Yes, I forgave myself, I now know that it had to happen as part of my bad karma, I am a musician and if I would ever become famous, the pictures will become famous as well, ruining my reputation, although rock stars can do whatever they want to do, there are almost no rules and regulations for them, so if I become a rock star, then this is my advantage.
And being in peace with those actions, I see it as part of my past and my life, it shaped me into the man I am now, not too long after this happened I began to curse the quest for large amounts of money and now I am really not interested anymore in money, well, a bit for survival, but that's it.
If I would become famous I will give away 50 % of my income to a spiritual centre and keep 25 % for friends and family and keep 25 % for myself, which I would invest in music and new talent, I would like to die pennyless, detached.
I mean, the things we, as humans, do for money..................just look at my example, and besides, can you take your money with you when you die ? No, you have to leave it behind, all that you take with you is your character and these stupid pictures made a better man out of me, a weird way of learning things.
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As I said, Erik, even if you become a famous musician, I don't really see how those pictures can ruin your reputation.... I'd forget about them. Maybe telling this story has acted as a cathartic cleansing... Good luck with your music.
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Thank you so much, I'll let you know how my musical career develops, for now we are participating with the national Dutch songcontest to go to the Eurovision Songcontest in Azerbajdjan, but first we have to win the national one, wish me luck !!!!
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erikstraight Wrote:Thank you so much, I'll let you know how my musical career develops, for now we are participating with the national Dutch songcontest to go to the Eurovision Songcontest in Azerbajdjan, but first we have to win the national one, wish me luck !!!!
Well done with that mate, hope to hear some more stories soon..
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Hey Sweetlad2010,
thank you, but I have to make clear that we are not (yet) chosen to participate with the National Songcontest, it is like this, in the last years they only made use of famous Dutch performers to go to the Eurovision Songcontest, but they never made it to the finals, so this year they changed things, now ALL bands in Holland can sent in a song of maximum duration of 3 minutes, you have to throw the recorded song in a huge suitcase which is standing in front of a television studio, then they will collect the songs at the end of September and choose the best 7 who will, in their turn, perform in live tv shows to decide who will be performing in the Eurovision Songcontest.
I will have the result of this somewhere in November.
I'll keep you informed !!
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i read your story how crazy was that, i understand why you didnt feel right about the gay thing because your straight and you were not ready for it, however i'm glad you moved on with that already, and its not just about the "gay videos/picture destroying you dignity" its also about robbing the bank which is totally wrong. what is important now is your alive and good luck in the singing contest - remember don't forget the techniques in singing, always use vibrato but not too much - good luck matey
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Hey Gabbyboy,
thank you for your kind reply, yeah, it was wrong to do all of that, but I was so obsessed with making money that I was "blinded", so to speak.
As for the singing, I am not the singer, I can't sing, we have a girl who sings and I am playing the guitar, I wish I could sing, man 
cheers.
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