Why? :(

[Leoblue95]

I hate my life. I want to cry and break down into tears but for some reason I can't.

So here's the story. I moved into my house about five years ago in July and I've noticed that I have some of the best neighbors a person could ask for. Well one of my neighbors are gay. At this moment inwas still a closeted gay. Well about a year later I confided in him to help me with coming out to my mom. Well he did help with that and I came out to my mom. That same summer he and I got a little close. He was entoxicated with his beloved red wine. He touched me like people do in movies right when there is a sex seen. He stood behind me. Rubbed his hands on my torso and his right hand in my pants rubbing me down ever so softly. All the while he was breathing on my neck and and biting my ear. I couldn't help but to be overcome by sexual emotions. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to feel him penitrate my pure virgin skin.

Moments like this kept happening. But here's the downer. He had a partner who lived in California. From then til present they have been together for two years. So he made occasional trips there for a week or so and he paid me to watch his dog while he was gone. Unfortunately his partner has moved back to Ohio.

My neighbor has become increasingly busy because of his business that he owns. He takes care of those who live with autism. He has been extremely busy with meetings and paper work. He and his partner are going through some problems and won't be together for a WHILE like a year or longer.

My problem is that I am insanely in love with my neighbor and he knows it even though I never told him. Everytime I see him my heart breaks and shetters into pieces. And everytime he comes near me I feel like I'm suffocating. He makes me breathless. When he touches me I feel as though I am falling and yet I'll never hit the ground. He wants me but for my body. His personality is unbelievable. He makes everyone laugh and is loved by everyone. He acts the same sober and drunk the only difference is that he shows me that he wants me when he's drunk. But what I hate realizing is that he wants me because of my body and I want him for his and his personality. I am truly in love with him but I haven't been able to have him. And I'm still a virgin. I want him to be the one to take my virginity. He was my first sexual experience of any kind. He's old enough to be my dad and I'm only 16. I have never loved anyone like I do him. (I love older men below the age of 65. What should I do?

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Is this your, like, first crush (it is more than a crush, but...yeah)?

And you have never been interested in someone closer to your own age? You are right and it's good that you realize it, he wants you just for your ass. Don't ley him have it, okay? Better save it for someone who wants you for your dick too, right? No, jk, but..yeah, you got my point lol.
Do you think that the fact that you are so madly in love with someone old enough to be you dad may have something to do with your real father? Forgive me if I'm touching on a sore spot here, I noticed you don't mention anything about your dad in your post. So, if it is connected to your dad...maybe it is not really what you are looking for.

I say you give it time and try to let him go. I hate myself for saying this, but...I don't see how it could happen between you and the guy without you feeling like a slut and getting your heart broken into even smaller pieces. Look around, try finding someone else you might like (Im not saying necessarily go after someone else, just...be open to opportunities)..
And don't give up. You can get over this, no matter how much it hurts. If you ever need to rant, we're here to listen to that rant.
Hope this helps :redface:

[toomuch45]

hmmmm i think he only likes you when hes drunk and that is really bad but i also feel this
i think you should tell him straight up

look i love you ever so dearly but do you only want me for sex or do you truley love me and honestly if he just wanted you for sex then i think you should move on simply because he's only making things worse on your behalf i understand that he helped you come out but if he has a bf already why is he doing things behind his back that's so not cool but still i feel that you've been hurt. also you said hes very older than you well check this i met someone who was very older than me which i didnt know how old he was because he never told me until he met my mom my mom was pissed he was 54 and he wanted me only for sex my mom told me no hes too old for you so i couldent see him anymore and looking back i realized that moment in time that that was not the man i should of been with.

i hope this helps if you need anything ill be here to help you along the way
toomuch

[princealbertofb]

People can do a lot of silly things when they are drunk, and they don't always remember what they've done either. Does this man realise what he's doing when he's had a few? I'm sure he realises what an effect he has on you and he's playing with it. The fact that he has a partner ought to be your cue to get out of there.... quick. It's difficult ot tell your body and brain not to fall for him when he's pushing all the right buttons and you are at that impressionable age, and also that specially horny age. Somehow, it doesn't seem fair, though, that he's taking advantage of your naivety and innocence... Maybe he likes breaking in young virgins, and maybe he'll drop you after he's had you, but he might also be genuinely interested in you. For a man his age, it must be a boost to his ego that he can be so attractive to someone your age. But, it seems to me that he ought to know better than to fool around with someone who is underage.... Am I right in thinking you are only 16? I know I have your feelings to take into account, but more to the point, is HE taking YOUR feelings into account? It seems he's not concerned with your feelings but more with his own desires, and boy he seems to have the drive to make them come true. So watch out. And whatever you decide to do with this man... (or not) please remember to be safe.