Gay men suck

[LesserEvil]

Thanks guys I do feel a little bit better although I will defend the fact that I don't wana be with someone who doesn't love me for who I am. I am 230 5'8 and even the guys around my weight are still very stand offish I come off as confident when I go out but doesn't seem to do anything..

Meal replacements here I come!

Thanks guys

[DRIMO]

I would date you given the chance. Not everyone's that into looks anyway.

[LesserEvil]

Aww thanks! :redface:

[princealbertofb]

Ian, and Hellanicus, I believe that the weight thing is just created through stress and also an unconscious need to have a protective barrier. Your body fat acts as a shield... so it's to keep the insecurities inside and the outside hurt at bay. That's my two cents. Of course we all enjoy eating as a human activity and it does help relieve the stress to eat the wrong foods. IT triggers the same sort of hormone release as certain drugs do... Trying to stop the weed would probably be indicated, and although nicotine does tend to cut your appetite, I wouldn't recommend cigarettes either. It would be replacement of one unhealthy thing for another.

Try to find a dietician who can help you balance what you ingest and stick to your diet while maybe trying to lose no more than a pound a week, and eating as diverse food as you can.

Learn to reduce certain types of food that give you cravings, and or that will go straight to your waist (or wherever)... (that generally entails eating more vegetables and fruit that will give you a full feeling and fewer carbs).

I am not one to talk about being successful in these matters but I think I know that trying to lose too much weight too quickly is a surefire way to put it all back on again at the slightest irritation or sign of distress. So take your time...

I also think that you don't need to be Mr Slender to find a boyfriend. How many slender things are out there looking for a boyfriend too? But confidence in your assets is certainly a way to be an interesting person to date. What's more, if you're a good lover, that can't be bad, can it?

[jbrowder24]

I feel what you're saying but maybe it just means you're looking in the wrong places because there guys who like different types and you just never know when you'll meet a good match. 21 is still very young - enjoy time with friends and let it happen as it happens! I didn't even know I was gay at 21 and I've seen people find the one at all different ages. Still looking here but trying to keep hope alive At least you seem to be in a more gay-friendly area with more selection than rural Iowa

[posterpicture]

I don't want to sound like a jerk but here is my opinion, take it or not is up to you.

First, you need to fill full your need before you can make yourself attractive to other people. Being 5'8" 230 lbs an smoke too much of weed? Do you clearly see that you have a need to be healthier?
Do you think any guy would "love you for who you are" and commit their life to a guy who can die the next morning because of heart attack or any kind of disease associating with over weight? No.

You are only 21, you have plenty of time to work on yourself before working on a relationship. I have friend who is overweight. I always tell her that she is perfectly beautiful the way she is. But I never tell her that is ok to be overweight. No, it 's not ok to embrace something that harmful to your life.

Spend your time and effort working on yourself.
And as one of the skinny bitch, I can guarantee you that effort will pay off. People don't get skinny in one day, it 's all about hard work and self control lol.

[princealbertofb]

Actually, Poster Picture, if Ian is lucky, he'll find a good friend who'll help him on his journey to being healthier... It probably starts with feeling good about oneself, overweight or not overweight. If Ian is completely comfortable with himself, he'll be less likely to look for artificial paradises (as we call drugs), and maybe learn to keep his food intake under control. You are right that working on himself first will probably be easier than trying to change other people's mindsets. Breaking down the negativity and the sense of uselessness that one often has when realising one is gay, is hard. It's not the easiest thing to shirk off. However learning how to lose one pound per week, is feasible, so rather than look at the whole picture and judge it too hard a task to overcome, look at the small steps that can be taken.
Good luck, Ian.
As an aside, for me, unfortunately, I associate skinniness with my brother's dying of AIDS, he was already skinny before he was sick, after he became sick he was a skeleton... That image still haunts me.

[princealbertofb]

Here's a link that I thought some of you might find interesting in relation to food and dieting.
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/5-...in-2507875

[jeffrey]

This can be a bit complicated. I'm only 5'6" and I weigh about 180 now. I'm not heavy at all, but when most people see that height to weight ratio on a profile they immediately thinK" FAT!" If I drop down to about 170 I can get into a size 29 pants. And....I'm talking about my own pants, thank you.

[Braz]

People are picky who they go into a relationship with, but to me someone being abit overweight is not a big issue and does not make it harder to find someone to have a relationship with. I think as long as there nice, loving, caring and true being abit overweight is nothing to worry about ive been in a relationship with someone overweight. mile:
Also there is handsome guys out there who are overweight and not skinny, who i would go for. mile: