Dating Site Dilemma
03-25-2008, 11:30 AM
Great advice so far. Any relationships I have had have grown out of friendships, whether online or off. I've probably mentioned this before, but Albert and I were penpals (via daily e-mail exchanges) for months before he introduced me to MSN. What I found interesting about him were his sharp intellect, fascination with the world, sense of humour, quick wits, empathy and political leanings. Our internet relationship acted as a kind of filter where we both managed to sustain the other's interest.
Eventually I telephoned him and we spoke. Then we arranged to meet. By that time we knew a lot about each other, but there was no guarantee (or even a wish from my point of view) for a romantic relationship to develop.
I'm rather sorry to see that the chat room isn't used much on this site. It would be a fun way of having instant interaction without risking giving out e-mail addresses to the wrong person. When I've used chat rooms in the past I have always started in the main chat room. If I wanted to chat privately I have always started by asking if it's "ok to pvt?" If the other person is busy or not interested they can always say no. It is fun to have a few people in a chat room just mardling. Albert and I have sat in the one on this site a few times hoping that others would join us. We can talk to each other any time!
Maybe if enough people were interested in giving it a try someone could suggest a date and time (and a time zone
). One gay chat room I used to frequent several years ago was often used as the recruiting ground for friendly invitations to a mobile supper. People in the Peterborough area would meet up online and arrange to take food round to someone's house where they would spend a pleasant and friendly evening. The next month someone else would offer their home as a meeting place. It isn't always about sex.
If you are serious about using the internet to "meet" others, someone has to start the ball rolling, so it might as well be you. A well-placed compliment is as good a conversation opener as anything else. If the recipient does not have the courtesy to respond, it is indeed their loss. If you do not wish for attention from someone else it is fine to thank them for their message, but say that you are not interested in responding. It needn't start a flame war. Most people here are supposed to be adults!
Finally (I promise!) I was intrigued the other day. I did send someone on here an instant message about something I didn't feel needed to be placed in a public arena. The response from that person was to be "excited" to have heard from me. I found that response very touching and at the same time a bit saddening. If I didn't want anyone to write to me I assume there is an option to disable instant messaging on my account. Again bear in mind that it should be okay to make the first contact if a member has left that option open.
So, good luck. May you meet new people and make new friends.
mile:
Eventually I telephoned him and we spoke. Then we arranged to meet. By that time we knew a lot about each other, but there was no guarantee (or even a wish from my point of view) for a romantic relationship to develop.
I'm rather sorry to see that the chat room isn't used much on this site. It would be a fun way of having instant interaction without risking giving out e-mail addresses to the wrong person. When I've used chat rooms in the past I have always started in the main chat room. If I wanted to chat privately I have always started by asking if it's "ok to pvt?" If the other person is busy or not interested they can always say no. It is fun to have a few people in a chat room just mardling. Albert and I have sat in the one on this site a few times hoping that others would join us. We can talk to each other any time!
Maybe if enough people were interested in giving it a try someone could suggest a date and time (and a time zone
). One gay chat room I used to frequent several years ago was often used as the recruiting ground for friendly invitations to a mobile supper. People in the Peterborough area would meet up online and arrange to take food round to someone's house where they would spend a pleasant and friendly evening. The next month someone else would offer their home as a meeting place. It isn't always about sex.If you are serious about using the internet to "meet" others, someone has to start the ball rolling, so it might as well be you. A well-placed compliment is as good a conversation opener as anything else. If the recipient does not have the courtesy to respond, it is indeed their loss. If you do not wish for attention from someone else it is fine to thank them for their message, but say that you are not interested in responding. It needn't start a flame war. Most people here are supposed to be adults!
Finally (I promise!) I was intrigued the other day. I did send someone on here an instant message about something I didn't feel needed to be placed in a public arena. The response from that person was to be "excited" to have heard from me. I found that response very touching and at the same time a bit saddening. If I didn't want anyone to write to me I assume there is an option to disable instant messaging on my account. Again bear in mind that it should be okay to make the first contact if a member has left that option open.
So, good luck. May you meet new people and make new friends.
mile:
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