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I need help coming out, strict and christian parents
#1
My parents are christian, or at least mostly, but they are also extremely strict and do not seem to be "gay supporting" people. Also with al the talk in my school and on the streets about how "every gay or bi person is a fag" it makes it hard for me to even think of how to come out.

Can someone give me any help because I've looked all around and have found nothing that fits my scenario.
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#2
We'd need to know a bit more about your circumstances, family situation, siblings, who you trust, you you'd rather keep this a secret from.. etc. Where do you live (country) how old you are etc... We might help
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#3
You may have to delay coming out if you still live under your parents' roof.
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#4
Yes, knowing more would help, like your age, if you have a boyfriend, etc. Why is it you wish to come out now? Could it be delayed until after you are off to college or living on your own?

It's not ideal - of course the best is to be yourself. But you also don't want to end up in a bad situation without people to turn to. If you did come out and your parents reacted badly, what would you do? Do you have any gay-friendly relatives anywhere? Etc.

I'll refrain from further advice until I learn more about you and your situation, but there's no reason to rush. We all come out at different times to different people depending on our circumstances.

Good luck.
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#5
It will all be okay once you're not dependend on your folks anymore. Don't worry about it yet if you're underage...
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#6
I don't have a boyfriend, but I am in love with someone, but he's not gay or bi so that's not going to work out Tongue

I am 16.5 and live with my mom dad and one sister, who is 15.

I am located in Lebanon H.N. USA.

About my family, I'm not quite sure, nothing close to the subject of sexuality has ever come up, so I'm not sure if they are gay supporting. I do have some friends that would not mind, but the main thing I'm worried about from them is they may tell some others, and some people I may not want it known to.

Most of my friends are online international, like one in Australia, one in Canada, one in France, etc. But one of my friends who lives near by could be someone I could turn to, but there's even a flaw with that, he's the one I like...
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#7
So..why don't you come on here more often and talk to us?
So what if you like him? he's still a friend. You said he's straight, so...maybe you could settle for friendship only?

Don't worry about coming out yet. Try very gently bringing up the topic sometime, like say..huh, I heard there was a gay parade the other day *insert place nearby or something* and see their reactions. Maybe they will be pretty harsh since you say they're christian and all, but don't lose hope, okay? Just hold on for a year or so more and then you got the world at your feet. :]
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#8
Perhaps there's a way to bring up the subject of being gay to your family without admitting you're gay? Depending how big/small your school/city is, you could possibly say a classmate came out (this would only work with a big school not in a small one where your parents know all and their parents). Or use something in the media, from gay characters like on Glee to something in the news - marriage, DADT, a hate crime, etc. Bring it up casually like, "Hey some kids were talking about how this happened. What do you guys think?". It may be hard to hear the answer, or maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised - either way it'll give you a better idea of how your parents might react.

If you do come out, try to compile some resources for them to help them along, stuff they can read or websites they can visit such as http://www.pflag.org; http://www.gayfamilysupport.com; this one is for Australia but a great page: http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTo...99&id=1715 (but be sure to realize there are websites out their that lie, so check them out for yourself first and give them the links because googling I saw some anti-gay ones for parents of kids that claim kids aren't born gay, which is completely false).
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#9
I came out to my best friend first when I was in college. Later, when I was talking with him about coming out to my family, he gave me what I consider the most profound piece of coming out advice I have ever heard. He told me that there is simply no wrong way to come out. Some methods are better than others, but there is literally nothing you can do that is "wrong". This applies to every aspect of coming out. Do it how you want, when you want. I knew I was gay when I was eight years old. I first worked up the courage to tell someone when I was twenty one. That was the right way for me. Had I been a different person, I may have told people earlier, or I may have not told them yet. The wrong way to come out is through a method you are not comfortable with at a time when you are not ready. I firmly believe that coming out is something that straight people will never understand the difficulty of, nor will they understand the courage it requires to take that first step. When the day comes for you to come out, please accept my sincere congratulations. If that day is not today, please accept my sincere support, and feel no guilt or pressure.
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#10
musicman2229 Wrote:I came out to my best friend first when I was in college. Later, when I was talking with him about coming out to my family, he gave me what I consider the most profound piece of coming out advice I have ever heard. He told me that there is simply no wrong way to come out. Some methods are better than others, but there is literally nothing you can do that is "wrong". This applies to every aspect of coming out. Do it how you want, when you want. I knew I was gay when I was eight years old. I first worked up the courage to tell someone when I was twenty one. That was the right way for me. Had I been a different person, I may have told people earlier, or I may have not told them yet. The wrong way to come out is through a method you are not comfortable with at a time when you are not ready. I firmly believe that coming out is something that straight people will never understand the difficulty of, nor will they understand the courage it requires to take that first step. When the day comes for you to come out, please accept my sincere congratulations. If that day is not today, please accept my sincere support, and feel no guilt or pressure.

Very nice post, Musicman... I second your thought.
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