My Culturally Closeted Boyfriend

[ManicReptile21]

you have one life and time life ticks away every second. you can either wait for him to get it sorted or move on. just remember sometimes waiting has its benefits. it displays loyalty and commitment. Will you give him that? that ones up to you dude.

[posterpicture]

you have one life and time life ticks away every second. you can either wait for him to get it sorted or move on. just remember sometimes waiting has its benefits. it displays loyalty and commitment. Will you give him that? that ones up to you dude.

You 're very right about this but I just want to add in.
The downside of waiting is you are losing your own opportunity as you wait. What if when you are waiting for him - an unavailable guy, your Mr. Right passes by your life? When you are waiting for someone, you are out of the market and you make yourself unavailable. So take that in consideration.

[ManicReptile21]

You 're very right about this but I just want to add in.
The downside of waiting is you are losing your own opportunity as you wait. What if when you are waiting for him - an unavailable guy, your Mr. Right passes by your life? When you are waiting for someone, you are out of the market and you make yourself unavailable. So take that in consideration.

lol i didnt want to be the party pooper that pointed that small tid bit out, thanks for doing it for me! :biggrin:

[Jay]

How on earth did I forget this story. Few months ago a good friend of mine and his girlfriend tried to match me with this guy named John (Not real name). He's a Malaysian Chinese and out.

His parents disowned him after he confessed to them that he is gay. John migrated to United States and currently studying in Stanford University (Edited: Not Oxford. Sorry John! My bad.). He is also a UN volunteer.

John has no regret for coming out as he did nothing wrong but accepting himself as who he is. He holds no grudge whatsoever against his parents. He still visits Malaysia once in a while to visit his relatives and siblings.

[Gabbyboy]

wow he's parents disowned him, that mustve hurt alot im sure someday his parent will accept him for what he is...

[Jay]

wow he's parents disowned him, that mustve hurt alot im sure someday his parent will accept him for what he is...

John is pretty much your ideal bachelor guy. The type your mom would love to have as a son in law. A wonderful son who carries a great academic background and also a philanthropy. It baffles me that his parents can ditch something so precious (Their own son that they raised and fed) for the sake of religion and culture.

I'm actually counting my days as well. :biggrin: My parents found out that I'm gay when I was around 13 - 14 years old and boy, they weren't happy. My mom was heart broken. My dad was so pissed off that he refused to speak to me for weeks. My brothers haven't spoken to me for years.

My parents think I am cured from homosexuality now. They thought my gayness was just a phase. My brothers still do not want to talk to me though but eh, they can go to hell.

I'll probably have to re announce my sexuality again to them in the future. I fully bet that they will disown me as well. But I am ready to face it as I am now a grown man who has a good job, stable finance and supportive friends to back me up.

As someone else has pointed out before, life can be pretty tough and unfair. Sacrifice has to be made. It is up to you whether you want to win or lose.

I do not want to be that guy who gets married to a girl just to oblige his parents and later gets into a 'brokeback mountain' affair behind his wife on Grindr. You lie to yourself. You lie to your wife. You lie to your yet-to-be-born child.

[BakeBear]

When I first started dating my current partner he was 40 and owned his own house that his mother lived in with him. He wasn't out to his mother so he would sneak me in and out of the house through the back door. When hism mother first met me she forbid him to bring me to the house. Eventually he stood up and said that he wanted to move me in, I will admit it wasn't the easiest living with the mother, we came down to just ignoring each other. So it does get better eventually. By the way he is a Pacific Islander.

[pellaz]

on one hand bad:
-he is 27 and should let go of his parents
-the home culture is nice but you live in another environment
-"told me he loves me just weeks ago" so you guys dont talk that much

on the good side:
-your in NYC, everyone is tolerant
-you think he is a wonderful guy with out reserve (this is important)
-stay away from anything Thai and he should be ok?

you have to up the communications in the relationship and strike a compromise on when when not to hold hands etc. dont give up.

[Drew]

To the OP: cut your man some slack, jack! Not everyone is comfortable with doing PDA.....I think if I was straight and with a girl I still would be shy to flaunt our relationship with kissing and hand holding. Some people love it; some don't. Don't force things or he'll *really* start closing you off. Give him time. And then maybe things that he's comfortable doing at first, like letting a hand rest on his knee or shoulder just a smidge longer than a platonic relationship would suggest, etc.

[mynhii]

To the OP: cut your man some slack, jack! Not everyone is comfortable with doing PDA.....I think if I was straight and with a girl I still would be shy to flaunt our relationship with kissing and hand holding. Some people love it; some don't. Don't force things or he'll *really* start closing you off. Give him time. And then maybe things that he's comfortable doing at first, like letting a hand rest on his knee or shoulder just a smidge longer than a platonic relationship would suggest, etc.

You surprise me. You are perhaps one of few Americans who are low-key. All people I met were outgoing, confident, and talkative. I interpret those signs as being happy. Maybe that is how American culture is.