09-03-2011, 03:00 PM
Hello,
I have something to confess, and also a little advice sought, if anyone has any suggestions. I really like big guys (and occasionally girls); by big, I mean what people would consider overweight, and significantly so. Big enough that other people would be quite struck by it, to think, if not say 'what a large person.' I am pretty much exclusively attracted to that kind of guy. Not in any kind of fetish way, it's just what looks good to me.
I have a slight issue because it seems taboo to speak this, hence my anonymity. One can say they like muscle guys, slim guys, beefy guys, etc. But not so much very big guys. Not just that others might ridicule me- I really wouldn't care, though offensive comments to a guy I'm with hurt me. But that it is difficult even to deal with these feelings within a relationship. Let me explain- I've had 3 boyfriends before, 2 of whom were very large men. They both had very much anxiety around physical sides of relationships- even getting undressed or just being touched in certain areas was difficult for them. My last boyfriend hated me touching his belly, but I secretly really wanted to touch it a lot. Understandable they feel this way, given the hard times they'd received over the years for their size. But it's difficult.
This was a barrier, and I had to reassure them that I found them attractive. But even then, it was kind of in such a way as to say 'I don't think badly of you' and 'you're attractive to me'. almost tiptoing around as if I didn't notice their weight or fancied them despite it. In most relationships, it's great and normal to say 'I love your body'. But for me, it's like I cannot say 'I love your body, love your size, love you how you are'. I've never tried to say anything as ouvert as that. I just assume it would be difficult for the guy to hear, given as, like I say, most big guys are very self concious. Maybe many big guys are totally confident, I could be way off. This is just my experience so far though, and it worries me. Within sexual relations, I have found myself acting like I sort of didn't much notice their body, so they didn't feel self concious of being looked and touched. I am sad this is how it is... my limited experience could be way off, I just mean, what I have encountered so far, this is the way people tend to feel.
Does anyone have any advice? How to have fulfilling relationships with big guys, or indeed anyone who is very very self concious. I hope this made some kind of sense
I have something to confess, and also a little advice sought, if anyone has any suggestions. I really like big guys (and occasionally girls); by big, I mean what people would consider overweight, and significantly so. Big enough that other people would be quite struck by it, to think, if not say 'what a large person.' I am pretty much exclusively attracted to that kind of guy. Not in any kind of fetish way, it's just what looks good to me.
I have a slight issue because it seems taboo to speak this, hence my anonymity. One can say they like muscle guys, slim guys, beefy guys, etc. But not so much very big guys. Not just that others might ridicule me- I really wouldn't care, though offensive comments to a guy I'm with hurt me. But that it is difficult even to deal with these feelings within a relationship. Let me explain- I've had 3 boyfriends before, 2 of whom were very large men. They both had very much anxiety around physical sides of relationships- even getting undressed or just being touched in certain areas was difficult for them. My last boyfriend hated me touching his belly, but I secretly really wanted to touch it a lot. Understandable they feel this way, given the hard times they'd received over the years for their size. But it's difficult.
This was a barrier, and I had to reassure them that I found them attractive. But even then, it was kind of in such a way as to say 'I don't think badly of you' and 'you're attractive to me'. almost tiptoing around as if I didn't notice their weight or fancied them despite it. In most relationships, it's great and normal to say 'I love your body'. But for me, it's like I cannot say 'I love your body, love your size, love you how you are'. I've never tried to say anything as ouvert as that. I just assume it would be difficult for the guy to hear, given as, like I say, most big guys are very self concious. Maybe many big guys are totally confident, I could be way off. This is just my experience so far though, and it worries me. Within sexual relations, I have found myself acting like I sort of didn't much notice their body, so they didn't feel self concious of being looked and touched. I am sad this is how it is... my limited experience could be way off, I just mean, what I have encountered so far, this is the way people tend to feel.
Does anyone have any advice? How to have fulfilling relationships with big guys, or indeed anyone who is very very self concious. I hope this made some kind of sense
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