I must be a loser

[Udabar]

Ok, I have been single for a year and four months. Thats a long time. I have only dated 2 guys my entire life and I have been out since I was 16... *counts on fingers*... Thats... going to be 8 years in May I have been out. My first relationship lasted 6 months and I broke up with him because he was a dork. Yes I told him that when I broke up with him. The second one was living in England for 6 years and had moved back and we dated for a month. I was, as the British would say, pissed drunk when I broke up with him. :biggrin:

Ok, maybe someone can help me... I cant quite get why I cant find someone to make me happy. I am always attracting the whores, nerds or fat people (no offense to any of them, just not my taste) Could I be being to picky? Maybe I'm to good for all the people around here? I live in a military town if that help and no that isn't a good thing. If anyone is in the military they know, it makes you dumb. So everyone in this town is like permanently blond... Maybe I need to uglify myself some more... I don't know if that possible, I'm already ugly enough.

I will tell you one thing, I am bad a approaching other people and talking to them unless I'm drunk and thats not cute. Someone hitting on you when they are drunk is so unattractive, well at least I think it is. I am a very shy person and tend to stick to people I know and feel comfortable around. I guess that would be a good thing...

I think I just need to move somewhere where I will be happier. I hate this town with all my heart and soul. I have lived here my whole life... born and raised. Secretly I hate the USA.... but don't tell the government that, they might arrest me for some lame charges. Yeah, I'm not going to get on that subject... Anyways... I don't have any money right now to move so I guess I will have to deal with what I have... Free room, free food, free internet, free cable... FREE FREE FREE... cant complain. Anywho, if any one has any help or just want to laugh at me, go ahead, I'm all eyes.:tongue: (hehehe..Cant be all ears because your not speaking your typing... see.. were on the internet.. and .. oh never mind... :tongue: )

[spotysocks]

Do you attract all the ones in a relationship already or married ones that they want you as a side order and their partner knows but you dont ? Consider yourself lucky if not

I am no good approaching others either... you will laugh so bad if i tell you storries therefore i wont!:tongue: Anyway dont be shy, think of the reasons you are shy and then start to eliminate every each one of them and gain more confidence- it worked for me. And dont drink, its bad for you! Dont use the word hate ...eliminate this it sets you in an unhappy state of mind. Jeez how many "dont's" did i say makes me sound like ...what? lol

You have to be picky, its a way to filter and know what is good for you. But you know what is a problem... when you set standards too high and people get intimidated and feel inadequate to approach you or you feel inadequate.

Sounds to me like you need a change , spread your wings and fly . Literally! Not necessarily change where you live but something new. An activity or if you haven't take yet a trip somewhere different i think you should treat yourself a good holiday or you even travel around for a year and work in places there for money. It will be a learning experience that fill you with good energy.

You will find your guy , they say good things come to those who wait. Hope its true because i waited long enough myself. :biggrin:

[Udabar]

Hehehe... Well I have had other people tell me that I am intimidating. This is the reason I drive people away from me. But at the time I didnt see it and blew it off, but now that I look at the different parts of my personality... I see it. But hell, around here I have to act the way I am. I dont really think I can explain how Killeen is.

On another note.. I have been told that good things happen to those who wait. I find that statement true but also false, my opinion.

(Wow.. I'm so drugged up on DayQuil. I dont think I should be typing and thinking right now. :tongue

[Osiris]

hey m8, i would agree that good things come to those who wait but waiting never made a person happy, go out there and follow your heart...
your the same age as me give or take a few months and i've never once sat back and waited ok yes eventually the things i have wanted have come to me but i have been busy when they have arrived....life's to short to let it pass you by hoping that someday true love will find you...

i believe everyone has a true love, and that everyone will find it, but why wait and hold out for that guy because for all you know the guy asking you out could be that guy at least give him a go...
And btw i don't think your standards are to high, everyone has their own type and taste other wise you'd just get bored chasing the same people and no one would ever get happy...

just go on a night outand just try to enjoy yourself... you never know what might happen, and i always found that the better looking people would always talk to you when they could see that you were happy and having a good time.... and most people don't have confidence they just feign it...try it... force yourself to do something crazy that you wouldn't normally do becuase of being shy even if it is something as simple as a cheeky little smile to the guy accross the room..

oh and before i forget you aint ugly so don't go thinkin that... :o)

anyhow your probably sick of my babble by now so i'll let you go... hope i haven't bored you to badle and that some of what i said made sense...

[jamesteen]

sounds like you just frustrated waiting for mr right.

get the fuck outa usa its bad too much scewed up politics an principles. i hate that asshole monkey of a president u got wiv a vengance!
move over to uk ul love it mate. london is da best place to be!

[Udabar]

mile: I like the way jamesteen thinks. I dont like Bush either... Unfortunatly I have to share a state much less a country with him (His house is 40 mins away from mine)... Well, I got word that my ex is moving back to England. Somewhere close to London is all I know but he goes out to London all the time. I have thought about asking him if I can come along but he is going to move in with his parents so thats a no go. When I get the money and a nice job I would love to move to London. I always have wanted to move to London and just tour Europe. Anyway, I have been just sitting around doing nothing and talking to a friend in Austin, an hour away from my house, online. Things sound promising....

[wouldlikemuscle]

I'm also really shy and very much stick with people I know. For me, I find that a bad thing because I would really like to be more confident and be able to approach people more easily.

I've never "dated" a guy (been with 2 girls - but that was before coming out), although had enough casual hook-ups over the last few years, meeting via the internet... is so much easier than starting off face-to-face as at least you already know a few things about the guy over the net... providing their being honest. Only trouble is, the internet seems only good for casual hook-ups - gaydar anyway - seems unlikely to get a r'ship through it.

There is 1 guy I've had a few meets with though that I wouldn't mind dating... but he now has a bf of his own

[jenova]

seem's lot better than in indonesia, here gay is like a secret sect. a lot of gay men, but no one proclaim that they're gay not even to close friends. ad:

we could only "open up" using internet (chat, forum, etc), using false id too.
I'm glad they invented the net, if not I might not be able to hook up at all.

don't judge yourself too much, look at other people and you'll fell very lucky and blessed :biggrin: (there are many who suffer more than you do :biggrin

[wouldlikemuscle]

Is homosexuality still illegal in Indonesia?

I know it is in Malaysia.

[TolbarixZhei]

to start off..

udabar, ur a cutie pie.. dont think otherwize.. as they have said..

as for living situation.. im an openly gay male in a really straight town. maybe its the friends i choose, who knows..

i think most of the guys on here are shy, thus the reason why we huddle around this forum, me included (sorry if i offend anyone)

relationship wize.. i havent had one that lasted over a month (male or female) chalk it up to commitment phobia and bad choices in relationships
as for my choices,, well its kinda funny.. you see, every person that im interested in, is not interested in myself, and vice versa.. bad choices, karma, whatever.. im a shy person. so im not always meeting twenty million people, and when they wanna meet, the first thing they think of is sex, which is not necessarily on my list of things to do on a first date
(i worked on this hair for a reason!!)

lol but yeah.. i think posting this thread helped me a out a little too, cuz i realize that i need to get out and do something crazy.. it would help my confidence and happiness at least!

p.s. feel free to come to mass btw.. would love to meet you :-)