How to Confront Tall Guys

[Jay]

Okay I'll make this short as possible.

I'm 162 cm (5.3 ft). Today I was approached by a 6 ft muscular lad whilst waiting for a train. I felt so tiny and could not help to feel awkward. He actually made me feel nervous. I had to tilt up my head to speak to him.

This is not the first time I'm being approached by a really tall guy. It has happened a few times before. I responded the same way to every 6ft guy - Awkward, nervous and discomfort. It's bad enough I have problem communicating with 5 ft 5 inch guys.

Can anyone give me tips on how to confront taller guys? Anything that can help me feel less awkward and uncomfortable. It would be very much appreciated.

[Almac]

Hi Jay, I'm not much taller than you and I do find it a little difficult at times. Not long ago I was in a pub standing near a group of tall men. The one leaned over to me and pulled my hood over my head. I looked up at the guy and said, 'now I will have to mug you' Suddenly a tense situation was eased off because of my humour. That's the way I deal with situations just with humour. Unless you're very good with your fists than there is no way should you confront any taller guy. Or again just try to ignore the situation and walk away.

[Gpbi]

Im 1.84 cm and i have a thing for short guys!

Maybe thats in general for the tal guys But anyhow i dont think that you should feel nervous...

[Marvinteck]

Im six foot three inches (*). My suggestion would be stop putting guys that are taller than you up on a pedestal. Physically they may be taller but psychologically we all have our own insecurities. A persons personality counts for a whole lot more than how tall or short they are. At six foot three and weighing in over 235 pounds I have been scared of people half my size before because there personality was so much stronger than mine. Instead of putting tall people on a pedestal you should be viewing yourself as a equal to them. Taking that route should take some pressure off you and make you feel more at ease.

Being shorter may feel awkward to you some times but take a walk in a taller persons shoes for a second. Being too tall and towering over the people around you can be just as awkward if not more awkward than being short. People notice things that are different than them. Extremely short people and extremely tall people all to often get turned into freak shows. People some times will point, stare, whisper and on occasion take pictures. Consider yourself lucky you fall within the two extremes of being short and tall.

(*) Disclaimer: Im not actually six foot three inches. I am six foot two and a quarter inches. Six foot three inches has a much better ring to it so I round up the three quarters of a inch to make myself feel taller than I actually am. If you fudge slightly on your height no one is going to be the wiser unless they have a tape measure or you tell them.

[Jay]

Gpbi & Marvinteck:

First of all thanks guys for responding to my thread. It is very much appreciated.

Yeah, I now realize that I wasn't being fair to the tall guys. I didn't think of how the tall guys feel as I was caught with my own insecurities. I realize that I have somewhat prejudged and judged guys based on their looks. It wasn't done intentionally but still.

Thanks guys for slapping off my brain regarding to this matter.

I'll do my best to see myself equal as the next guy that stands beside me. As Marvinteck said this method should help to reduce pressure.

Thanks again Gpbi and Marvinteck. Very much appreciated.

[gilhooly]

Hey Jay I am 6'1" tall former marine. I am in fact fairly tough. I usually don't take shit from anyone. And then one day I fell in love with a Chinese guy named Danny the same size as you. I was 29 and looked it. He was 32 and looked 15. Until he would start to giggle then he looked about 12.

Danny's favorite joke made him giggle a lot. Danny's favorite joke was me. Where ever we went people would look at a big tall marine with an obviously underage Chinese boy. We got looks every where we went. We would sit down in restaurants and I would plead with Danny tell someone your age. Jesus, Danny, that old lady is going to call the cops and report me as a child molester. Tell her your goddamn age Danny. Tell her you are older than me. The more I pleaded the more he would giggle. Let them think what they want John, you can beat those people up if they give us a hard time. Danny I don't want to beat people up just tell them your goddamn age. John, if the police come I will show them my driver's license. Danny, why do take everything so far. I was shocked when Danny taught me how far a Chinese guy will go for a perfect orgasm. The little bastard would make my toes curl during orgasm. He loved to take every thing to the limit and then giggle helplessly. I liked it in bed guys but I wished he would give me a break when people were openly accusing me of child molesting.

Having been taken advantage of by a cute Asian guys like you I refuse to give you any sympathy, Danny never told anyone his age in the 5 years I knew him. I used to think all Asians were polite. I no longer think that.

I can see it in your eye kid. You want to take advantage of big strong guys who like cute small guys. If I see you I will superglue my zipper and pray you don't look at me. I am a fool for guys who look like you.

[SleepTalker]

im 5'11 and i still feel small around taller ppl.

[dfiant]

I'm 5'8 and I like shorter guys....BUT I always end up dating taller guys, usually between 6'1 and 6'5. I see tall guys as 'gentle giants' and very rarely find them intimidating at all. I actually find large guys intimidating but that would be because of my history when I was a young teenage boy, but it became so ingrained in my nature that it is my natural instinct to be intimidated with large guys.

Having said that I tend to get along well with large guys and girls, apparently I am passive aggressive, or that is what I am told by others, so I guess those that intimidate me are intimidated by my 'no bullshit' approach when they first meet me.

[Inchante]

I never think of a persons height really. It doesn't enter my mind unless the person is particularly tall or particularly short. I am 6ft, and that is on the upper end of average for the part of the world I live in. For me, there are far more important qualities in a person than their height. I tend to look at those first. I can know a person for months before I even think about whether they are taller or shorter than myself.

[Jay]

Gilhooly:

Thanks gilhooly for the compliment. I didn't see that coming. Thanks.

I maybe small but well defined and muscular. I climb my office building's emergency staircase from ground floor to the 30th three times a week. Carrying dumbbells. I used to do it everyday but without dumbbells.

SleepTalker, dfiant and Inchante:

I believe another factor why guys particularly tall and big guys make me nervous is due to my once upon a time 'anti social' life. Five years ago (2005), I was a morbid obese lad. I got bullied a lot during those years.

In order to give 500% towards weight loss, I shut myself from the public for a few years. It was only me, my house and the jogging park. I returned to the society on 2009.

From 2009 - mid 2011, I was a confident guy. I didn't have problem communicating with my colleagues and clients but I became defensive, shy and a bit vulnerable when I was outside of my circle of trusted friends. Flirtation, being approached by guys etc. all these were culture shock to me.

I have drastically improved a lot by mid 2011. Something happened on May/June that pretty much knocked my head off. I am now more open, approachable and spontaneous in public. Admittedly I am still a bit shy towards guys who come and approach me. But not terribly shy as I used to.

Thanks for responding gilhooly, SleepTalker, dfiant and Inchante.