Tricky situation.... Need advice

[zeon]

Hi All,
Tonight i found out from my mum that my dad apparently has Pancreas cancer... Now he and my mum divorced when i was two months old but there has never been a rift between them however she found out from my sisters father who is friends with my dad but is also a alcoholic bullshitter at times about things yet truthful about others... Now my sister relaid the message tyo my mum and she relaid it to me who texted my brother who lives in denmark to get his number to ask him out straight about the situation... My father and me never did have a close relationship due to abandoness when he left and not contacting til i was 12 and ditching again at 14 and since then ive seen him about ten times usually once a year...
Now my brother hasnt texted me his number as requested just questioned things about possible outcomes and i know his closer to dad than I am but i am the kind of person wanting answers and want them YESTERDAY!
I spoke with my mum about asking my aunt dads sister if its true yet mum told me its best not to because my father may not reveal to the family his illness if he has it because of the state of my nan being dementia and not knowing who anyone is... I am not sure whether i should ask my other family if it is true or if they know something or be quiet for dads sake??? Whats the best advice and what would you people do in this situation?

Kindest regards

zeon x

[Rainbowmum]

Hey Zeon,
The best advice I can give you , is go straight to the source.
Go see your father , Let him know that you are there for him , it might help him open up.
It might also mend some bridges between you.

Hugs

[zeon]

My dads a bit of a poof to be honest he dont want to get envolved in family opr anything hence giving up his kids maybe i should just be blunt to him???

[Rainbowmum]

Well sweetie that is entirely up to you.
Just remember what ever actions you take , be the bigger man.

[dfiant]

Zeon, I haven't seen my father since my 21st birthday, he walk out on my Mother, brother and I when I was 12 years old. The only contact I have had with him is when hecalled me out of the blue to tell me he had cancer in his kidney and will have to have a kidney removed, this was the day before I was to fly out to Japan to live and work for a year...a trip that was 12 months in the planning. He wanted me to cancel my plans I asked him if he was dying, he said no, that was the end of the convo and the last time I spoke to him, and the last time I WANT to speak to him.

So yeah, I can understand your hesitation. If you want answers and want them yesterday, call his sister, you don't have to tell her about what you have heard about him having pancreatic cancer, and ask her for his phone number becuase you want to talk to him.

It is your father's responsibilty and onus to disclouse his illness if/when he wants/needs to. So try get his number and talk to him directly is my advice Maybe even call your brother rather than send him a text?

[Almac]

Hi Zeon my heart goes out to you, I hope everything works out for the best.