Is It Okay to Flirt with a Colleague?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

There you go, my ridiculous excuses. Somebody slap me or something.

None of these are ridiculous, they may (then again may not) be 'excuses', but they are not ridiculous. You feel something about these points, those feelings are valid and most likely are to be expected considering the realities.

I have no idea where he hails from, but the word 'bro' is short for brother, and is common in several subcultures, skiers, surfers, bikers, all use bro in a generic sense. In this you may be over thinking his use of 'bro'. He might use it all the time, no matter who he talks to. It might be his way of saying 'dude'.

Taking it nice and slow often leads to a small apartment with a ton of cats....

Taking it nice and slow can also lead to regrets.... Being too safe can be as bad, if not worse than being reckless. Try to temper each extreme.

It is only a phone call, it is only lunch. It is only one day out of a string of days... No one is going to hold an arrow (or a gun) to your head and force you to make any life long commitments when you make that call or take that lunch.

[Jay]

None of these are ridiculous, they may (then again may not) be 'excuses', but they are not ridiculous. You feel something about these points, those feelings are valid and most likely are to be expected considering the realities.

I have no idea where he hails from, but the word 'bro' is short for brother, and is common in several subcultures, skiers, surfers, bikers, all use bro in a generic sense. In this you may be over thinking his use of 'bro'. He might use it all the time, no matter who he talks to. It might be his way of saying 'dude'.

Taking it nice and slow often leads to a small apartment with a ton of cats....

Taking it nice and slow can also lead to regrets.... Being too safe can be as bad, if not worse than being reckless. Try to temper each extreme.

It is only a phone call, it is only lunch. It is only one day out of a string of days... No one is going to hold an arrow (or a gun) to your head and force you to make any life long commitments when you make that call or take that lunch.

If I'm not mistaken he is a Dutch. By all means he is from Netherlands.

I often use 'Bro' amongst my colleagues as I see them as my brothers. So when Mr. X used Bro, I automatically processed it as brother too. I can't help it.

For now, I think it's best for me to get to know to him casually. I'll see and talk to him when I see him. I will not going to force myself to purposely stand outside our offices (His office is right next to mine) to wait for him. Okay, I did it before to get to know him and to get his number. But I had to as that was the only way to get to meet him. When the time is right, I will ask him out again.

In the meantime, I'm just going to continue to tease him around. Few days ago, he was heading back to his office. He has to walk past my office to get to his. I purposely stood in front of my office entrance - unzipping my exercise jacket slowly to show off my chest in a white sleeveless singlet. It was after 6 pm (after work) and I was about to go a gym.

He slowed down when he saw me. He walked in motion whilst staring.

"Oh hey there Mr. X, I didn't see you..." :biggrin:

My colleague, Edmund officially certified me as a 'co*k teaser' due to that.

I've never done something like that in my entire life. That was my first attempt.

Thanks Bowyn.

[Jay]

Around 10.30 am this morning, I went to a convenience store that is located in my office building's lobby. I bought a can of coffee to keep me awake (I had to work on Saturday and Sunday so you get the idea).

I left the convenience store and waited for an elevator to go back to my office. The building elevators are located close to the building's main entrance. So anyway I waited and waited. Then there he was. He just arrived.

"Hey, Mr. A." I greeted him calmly.

"Hey there, mate. Good morning." He replied. Whoa, he didn't use bro this time. Good.

Then he stood beside me.

"I'm really tired. Lots of work ..." He said.

"Yeah." That was my reply to him.

I was surprised with my own response. I wanted to say something else but my tongue kind of froze. I didn't say anything else after that.

The elevator doors opened. He entered first. I was like, hey that was not gentleman, minus one point for you!

There was a lady standing behind us. We didn't utter a word to each other. Mr. A was looking at his Iphone. I was trying to figure out why I can't open my mouth as I usually do. Why did I suddenly freeze? I was totally bubbly and talkative with him before I asked him out. Now it becomes opposite.

The elevator doors opened. I gave him a signal to step out first.

He looked at me. "Oh no, no ... please."

Aha, plus one point for you, Mr. A!

So I stepped out and he followed from behind.

My colleague, Sheron saw us. She smiled to her ears. I grinned.

"See ya, Mr. A." I said to him.

"Have a nice day." He replied.

"Aha, you shared elevator with him. Did you purposely wait in the lobby to share the same elevator with him?" Sheron asked.

"I did not. But that's not a bad idea after all. I kid"

"So what did you guys talk about whilst inside the elevator?"

"Interestingly, nothing."

That's my report for today.

[BinarySurfer]

"Do you want to go out for lunch today? No? When are you free? I know this nice ______ restaurant, the best ____ food!"

[Jay]

Sigh. Honestly I don't have the strength to do this anymore.

Last Friday, we just kept staring at each other. I was unable to crack a smile at him at all. I just froze.

I find it amusing. I had my lunch with one of his colleagues on last Friday - effortless. Then again his colleague is straight so I didn't feel any stress whatsoever.

Okay Binary, I'll try to do this again on next week. Oi, Zeus! give me strength. Amen!

[princealbertofb]

Yes, Jay, you should really try it... Why are you so tongue tied when it comes to him???? Desire burns your fuses?

[Jay]

I don't know PA. I automatically act like that once being declined by the guys that I like. I was bubbly and talkative to them before they declined me.

Maybe because I was a bit of anti social back then. It took me a few years to build my confidence. So being declined was like dabbing salt into my old wound.

In general, I'm a very confident guy but not so much in department in 'guys' department. I'm still learning.

Okay granted Mr. X didn't say no. He just asked to have lunch on a different week but I still felt like being declined. I know it's a ridiculous feeling and I need to get over it. I will and I need to.

[princealbertofb]

Well, Jay, sweetheart, get back to him and say... "By the way, that new date you wanted for next week, are you free on .... (day of the week)? .... If not, how about ... (new day of the week)?"
Don't play hard to catch, Jay.

[Jay]

Okay, PA. I will ask Mr.X when I see him on next week.

I started this whole thing and I can't back out now.

[Jay]

Okay, I've asked. He's not free this week. He's going back to HK tomorrow.

But I am happy. I didn't freeze this time around. I managed to speak to him 'normally' like I used to.

But something slightly weird happened today.

I was about to leave the rest room when his colleague was about to enter. I asked his colleague to step in first whilst I held the door. But he insisted me to step out first. He said, "No, please. Beauty over age first."

I wasn't sure how to respond so I laughed politely and then thanked him.

Okay that is all.