When the boy you want, no, the boy you need is out of reach. You know that he knows too, but he's with a girlfriend and will never to you. You flirt endlessly, especially on MSN because it's easier to do with little emotion smilies and the word "lol" at the end of the sentence. You go out with him on Friday nights, you both get drunk and you end up holding hands on a bench, heads pressed together with him leaning into you.
You sleep over his house, and you're huddled up on a sofa in the warm, you look into his eyes and your foreheads lean in together. You both want to kiss but something won't let you. He lets you put your arm around his lower back and he leans on your shoulder. You go upstairs to his room and go to sleep, but before that he suggests crashing out on the floor and watching a DVD. He comes in looking great and again, you both want the same thing, well you think so but neither of you are sure, and don't want the rejection.
And then everyday for a year now, you think of him all day and even dream of being with him at night. You lay in bed wishing he was next to you, you could play with his hair while he sleeps, hold him and wake up with him cuddled up to you with a smile on his face.
Then you read this post back and it reminds you how close we are, but neither of you will cross the line, and it kills you constantly. Makes you feel sick.
That's my life, anyone wanna swap?
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I'd swap, since I too have gone through that problem, although mine was much less intense.
i feel really stupid now because of some of the things I said, but we are still best friends.
But believe me, as intense as those feelings are, there are many other things you should be worried about. But I understand where you are coming from, even after my friend moved away, is getting married and having a kid, I still can't help having feelings toward him.
BTW, if we swapped, you wouldn't like my life one bit. You would be far too busy and stressed out to even worry about relationships. Thats the fun part about going for a MA degree.
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You know what, I wouldn't want to swap. It would mean not seeing him, talking to him and being with him.
When you say there are many other things to be worried about, you mean about him?
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been struggling with something similair for a while now. my close mate has had a girlfriend for years but when it is just the two of us I swear to god I know something could happen. the way he looks at me and the things he says when we are alone and have been drinking give me so much hope. the number of times I have sat next to him with our legs touching and our heads about to touch...omg it feels amazing. we get so close until i can feel his breathing and just as i am about to put my hand on his thigh i remember how dangerous that truly is...damn.
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chris5321 Wrote:When you say there are many other things to be worried about, you mean about him?
I mean you should worry about yourself. Like school, your family, and your future. You have no idea where you will be in 5 years.
Instead of relationships, you should worry about how to make your life ideal. I know it might seem like you need someone to make it ideal, but try to picture it as if you are alone, figure out what you want, and then figure out about relationships.
I understand you are afraid to lose your friend if you end up moving away after school, however, if you never let him know how you feel, you should try to break away from the fantasy. Otherwise, you will be in for a world of heartbreak if the two of you become seperated.
The most important thing is that you find out what will make you happy, both outside of a relationship, and inside a relationship.
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Unrequited Love - feeling love for somebody that does not feel the same way towards you - is one of the most painful feelings any individual, be they man, woman or child can experience emotionally.
The tangled web of illusion and reality becomes weaved so tightly that it is one of the closest experiences to having your dreams become reality, and repeatedly the people that experience it are taken to some of the highest highs they will have ever experienced to date, and then plummet to some of their lowest ebbs.
I have the utmost sympathy for people that experience unrequited love, as it is something I hold very dear to my heart. More than any other type of people I have encountered, those that feel the pain of loving somebody with all your heart, and knowing that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, and no matter what rules you break, choices your make or decisions you later come to regret, nothing can ultimately change the facts ...
... not even chloroform ...
It's not all bad of course ... many people, myself included, probably wouldn't change the way things pan out for them even if they could, as they perceive the object of their desires as beyond reproach (even though this is seldom the case). I just wish, hand-on-heart, that the journey to that peaceful, tranquil point in their lives when they come to realise that it's ok to feel as you do, and that it doesn't make you a bad person, or anything less than 100% sincere, and it is a beautiful thing to experience, and that you appreciate that it's ok that they don't feel the same way ... often takes so very long to arrive at ...
:frown:
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
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