showing interest

[02gordonj]

anyone know how you can tell if someone is gay without asking them? also, how can you show your interest / flirt with a guy?

[drocko17]

well, sadly we need to base ourselves on prejudices when it's time to do this... if you are out of the closet and he knows you are gay, he might be the one that 'moves forward' in case he's gay and he likes you... if you suspect he is but for x circumstance he doesn't tell you, then try to look for those 'details' in his behavior and speech that could tell you something else, if you dont find them, go for them, but very cautiously,

[Insomniax]

Can't help you on that one, unfortunately I'm hopeless in telling whether people are gay or not.
And hell, even when people do flirt with me I'm completely clueless, I just keep talking. So many times I'd spend some time talking to someone to walk away to talk to some mates and have them tell me they were flirting. *shrugs*

[Shadow]

I've posted a response to this question on the chat-up lines thread (where you'd previously asked), but as this is a subtle variation on your original question, I'd say this ...

Since you apparently don't want to ask them (which is, incidentally, what I would do - i.e. NOT ask them - that's too direct for me personally), then I would try and strike up a conversation with them to see what kind of person they are (and discount thoughts of their sexuality as much as possible at that stage). Just see how receptive they are to speaking with you ... do they just exchange pleasantries ? Have they been perhaps looking for a way of breaking the ice with you ? COULD YOU USE that fanTASTIC chat-up line that was posted on the chat-up lines thread :-

"Excuse me, can you tell me how much a Polar Bear Weighs ?"
"Not a clue"
"Me either, but it breaks the ice, soooooooooooooo ... (carry on talking)"

That would work on me 'coz it'd make me laugh ... but there we go !!

I think it's best to just look for little openings to gauge the individual rather than to go straight for the jugular ... for me, chatting somebody up isn't about the direct approach, as that doesn't seem to work for me ... it's about learning how to make inroads based on their moves - kinda more like chess. Sophisticated, taking your time, learning about them, and moving accordingly ...

Kinda like a beautiful dance, rather than battering down their door S.W.A.T-stylee .

So my advice ? Forget whether he's gay or not, and forget ACTIVELY chatting him up at this point - just try and learn a bit about him by speaking to him, and see whether he's the kind of person you'd like to get to know better ... other things will follow from there ...

Whether he's gay or not shouldn't be a bar to getting to know him a bit better, non ?

And you never know - he might let something drop into conversation as you speak ... something which might make it so that you don't NEED to ask at all !! mile:.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!