Bottoming = Feminine?

[Uke]

This proves to be interesting. Everyone else don't think they're feminine if they're passive in bed, in the role of "Uke", but I really see myself in feminine position and act in feminine way while in bed. I also don't like actually do the role of "Seme" or to be the aggressive one...for some reason I just like to be screwed

I act girly by my nature outside bedroom as well (Of course I dress in normal male clothes...maybe a bit oversized shirts to give a certain impression ^^ I just behave in rather girly manner). So, is trying to be "cute-ish" gay boy a bad thing, then? Probably some will find it annoying. What do you guys think?

[michaelson]

I'm not saying that bottoming is feminine. I'm just suggesting that the role of receiving a penis and being ejaculated in seems a bit more feminine. I'm sorta wondering if there's some sort of psychological connection between how women thing about sex and how gay men (especially bottoms) think about sex.

Thinking about the biological aspect to this it makes sense that a straight woman wants a man to put his penis inside her vagina and ejaculate in it because that's required to get her pregnant. Women probably don't think this way when they have sex, but few would deny that there is an evolutionary reason for their desires. Many straight men get an erotic thrill out of ejaculating in a woman's vagina and get a certain satisfaction from doing so. Also, this makes sense; men who have a strong desire to ejaculate in a woman will be more likely to reproduce.

[Uke]

I'm not saying that bottoming is feminine. I'm just suggesting that the role of receiving a penis and being ejaculated in seems a bit more feminine. I'm sorta wondering if there's some sort of psychological connection between how women thing about sex and how gay men (especially bottoms) think about sex.

Thinking about the biological aspect to this it makes sense that a straight woman wants a man to put his penis inside her vagina and ejaculate in it because that's required to get her pregnant. Women probably don't think this way when they have sex, but few would deny that there is an evolutionary reason for their desires. Many straight men get an erotic thrill out of ejaculating in a woman's vagina and get a certain satisfaction from doing so. Also, this makes sense; men who have a strong desire to ejaculate in a woman will be more likely to reproduce.

In any case, it would be interesting to know.

[OrphanPip]

Thinking about it evolutionarily becomes a bit problematic, because then you have to explain what exactly about being gay would somehow be selected for. Not everything is coming out of some direct evolutionary relationship.

This is all coming out of what I think is essentially the two most dominant conceptions of homosexual relationships. On the one hand, you have the model of the dominant/passive, top/bottom, or masculine/femine (and with the troubling implications of the Pythagorean table of opposites), and on the other hand you have the so-called "egalitarian" model. These associations are cultural, even if ultimately arising out of certain explicable materialistic causes, it is pretty hard to step back and rid ourselves of the biases involved in our understanding of social dynamics. I personally think an egalitarian conception that strips away the notion of binaries is more liberating for the individual; it is less troubling if we don't have to strive to connect certain aspects of our personality to others and draw up a rubric of feminine vs. masculine. At the same time, I will acknowledge that for some people there is an affirming aspect to the reclamation of male femininity, and it is important to some people that they be able to express a certain feminine cross-identification. The problem of course being that the assumptions which underpin our conceptions of femininity are neither universal nor easily identifiable.

[Uke]

Thinking about it evolutionarily becomes a bit problematic, because then you have to explain what exactly about being gay would somehow be selected for. Not everything is coming out of some direct evolutionary relationship.

This is all coming out of what I think is essentially the two most dominant conceptions of homosexual relationships. On the one hand, you have the model of the dominant/passive, top/bottom, or masculine/femine (and with the troubling implications of the Pythagorean table of opposites), and on the other hand you have the so-called "egalitarian" model. These associations are cultural, even if ultimately arising out of certain explicable materialistic causes, it is pretty hard to step back and rid ourselves of the biases involved in our understanding of social dynamics. I personally think an egalitarian conception that strips away the notion of binaries is more liberating for the individual; it is less troubling if we don't have to strive to connect certain aspects of our personality to others and draw up a rubric of feminine vs. masculine. At the same time, I will acknowledge that for some people there is an affirming aspect to the reclamation of male femininity, and it is important to some people that they be able to express a certain feminine cross-identification. The problem of course being that the assumptions which underpin our conceptions of femininity are neither universal nor easily identifiable.

Could it be linked to the concept of transsexuality? I mean, they presumably have birth-time damage -related complex, that makes them identify the opposite gender. In the case of homosexuality, could've something gone wrong during the development phase in womb, making one to think that he/she must have sex with the same gender when normally we would be programmed to orientate to opposite sex?
I wonder if this could apply to homosexuality as well...

[colinmackay]

I don't think it has anything to do with masculinity or femininity. I know big hairy butch bottoms and tops that are really feminine.

Bottoms can also sit on top of a top that lying on the bottom.

[OrphanPip]

Could it be linked to the concept of transsexuality? I mean, they presumably have birth-time damage -related complex, that makes them identify the opposite gender. In the case of homosexuality, could've something gone wrong during the development phase in womb, making one to think that he/she must have sex with the same gender when normally we would be programmed to orientate to opposite sex?
I wonder if this could apply to homosexuality as well...

First of all, it is a problem to classify things different from the norm as damaged. Things don't go wrong or right with nature, nature is amoral and without a final model to judge imperfection against.

Whether homosexuality is related to physiological feminizing of a male brain is possible, but a feminized male brain is not a female brain, nor does it equate to effeminate behavior. Moreover, male identification is a vital part of gay male identity, or else we would all be trans women.

[red728]

You know this whole passive or active or versatile typecasting of gays is ridiculous in my humble opinion, mind you I also think the whole straight or gay classification is also ridiculous. I mean we are always changing, maybe in small ways - small ways that add up to a different you on the long run. So why limit yourself to all these labels? We are not set in stone. Sexuality evolves, we evolve.

Me for example I have gone through stages when I was exclusively gay, but my needs and perception of life changed over time as I opened myself up to new ideas, experience and understanding of the human condition. There was a time when I was in a word passive, and then there was a time I was more active, there has been now times when I was drawn to a person sexually because of a deep connection which had nothing to do with their physic ( be it male or female).

I guess what I am trying to say is with time, as we evolve, if we do not confine ourselves to titles and expectations then we could enjoy a life that is truly free. Even free from fallacies such as Being Bottoming = Feminine?. Free from the need to live life through labels.

[AlephNull]

I know this is gonna sound strange, but I feel like I have both genders in me. Sometimes I wish I was a woman. Other times I think to myself "man I would never wanna give up having a cock!". When I bottom I certainly feel more feminine, but that's not a bad thing

[Uke]

First of all, it is a problem to classify things different from the norm as damaged. Things don't go wrong or right with nature, nature is amoral and without a final model to judge imperfection against.

Whether homosexuality is related to physiological feminizing of a male brain is possible, but a feminized male brain is not a female brain, nor does it equate to effeminate behavior. Moreover, male identification is a vital part of gay male identity, or else we would all be trans women.

True that.