That kind of question is the same as when straight people ask who the "bride" is at a gay wedding. The whole point of a gay relationship for me is that I'm a man who likes men... there's no woman involved and there's nothing "feminine" about what we do together. This whole attitude of trying to define the world and our social structures in terms of masculine/feminine is really outdated.
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Bottoming= Fem
NO
Bottoming= what you want it to mean to you
Maybe
Bottoming and enjoying it
YES
Bottoming and not enjoying it O.o Why?
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weirdly enough.. I kind of struggle with this as well. I suppose because i'm the top in my relationship. However, i'm shorter, i dress better, and I talk more in social situations so people assume i'm the more feminine one in my relationship (I'm sure there are other reasons).
it really makes no sense on paper that it should bother me but to get to the root of what I'm saying is that its offensive to be compared to your partner as who is more of a man.
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Not an easy answer to the whole subject,in some cultures where it is accepted to be gay ie in the Philipines,being uber camp is acceptable, but acting straight and being gay is not accepted.
I think in western culture it is a common misconception that the bottom is thus feminine/passive.If you look at relationships they are as diverse as we all are. My partner and I are very different in many ways, I am gregarious,have a strong personality,am the decision maker in our relationship,he is more the nurturer in our longstanding life together,,,so people assume I am the more dominant.However, in the bedroom he is definately the top and I like being the bottom,because we understand eachother so well and over the years we have learned in all aspects of our lives who is best at what,,,,we have reached an accord.
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Well, I"m a top, but I recently bottomed and I found out I'm just as 'in control' during sex when I'm bottoming than when I'm not. It was fun, I enjoyed it, but I won't do it again until I'm in a committed relationship with somebody I truly care about. Though I do have friends that equate bottom with being feminine. Gay friends. But then again they have a lot of strange beliefs that resulted from their sheltered religious upbringings.
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it will be along time for gay couples to realize they are not suposed to adjust the same rolemodels as heterosexual couples. Don't getme wrong, we are the same inevery aspect. But it's different in matters of behaviour for example. Nowadays almostevery gay couple has someone who uses the femenine role. That's because allthese years of repression and because a model is implanted in us since we're born: "The happycouple" the self-sacrificing woman and the providing husband. This is after all watching from an evolutive point the reason for couplesbut WE LIVE IN NO CAVES ANYMORE.
As for me, i'm versatile i have had stages where i only like to be active someother only passive, it's difficult not to get atatched in asexual role, but if weallcouldmanage to be versatile and enjoy the pleassure there will be no stigmas anymore.
Also i'mfrom mexico and i know several "macho" men thay in bed transform into queers that like to be fucked....
in conclusion ithink thafemenine acting people (and imean really fem not just "i see you're gay" tipe) have some background thatmakes them be thatway.
my humble and veryoften mistakenpoint of view (:
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