Fantasy

[ToddYoung]

I think it was Carl Jung who said that any person is capable of any evil - and any good.

A couple of thousand years ago, people cheered in Rome to see a young boy eaten by a lion. We've repressed these urges in ourselves to the point where most (or almost all) of us today would say that we don't have them. The feelings have been sublimated, and they come out in dreams and fantasies.

Rather than being unhealthy, Jung believed fantasy was healthy, because to become an individuated person, you need to accept your shadow (or darker side) into your life. All he meant by this was that you have to recognise and accept that these things exist in you. He didn't want people to go on a mass killing spree.

The point is that by repressing urges, you're more likely to act on them. Take catholic priests for example. They repress their sexuality and then (some) end up by acting out their sexuality in an unhealthy and damaging way.

I'd say, accept your fantasy as part of yourself as a human being. Accept that you have whatever feelings or desires you're concerned about. By doing that you'll be less likely to act them out in reality.

[gfxtwin]

One problem with my main fantasy is that it involved being played with by massively tall, 50-ft women. There's no way to act out on this. I wonder why I had it in the first place? Hope it's not something Freudian.

[OrphanPip]

I think it's a bit simplistic to say that fantasies are always OK just because they're fantasies. For example, we wouldn't say to someone having suicidal fantasies that they should just indulge in the fantasies as long as they don't act them out, we would take the fantasies as a sign of something seriously wrong.

When it comes to sexual fantasies we get into a grey zone, because there are certainly any number of fantasies that are harmless, especially if they are incidental rather than recurring. But what if a person is having recurring rape fantasies about their neighbour?

Also, I don't think there is evidence that repressing of urges causes people to act badly. Sexual abuse occurs amongst all sets of people in positions of authority that have access to children. There is no good evidence of celibacy causing people to act out in unhealthy ways.

[pellaz]

so long as you ask;
why am i this way??
how does this relate to my real life... etc

[SleepTalker]

i think as long as it stays in your head, theres nothing wrong with a fantasy. Now if you have a fantasy about beating someone to death and then actually do it.....then its obviously wrong.

[fredv3b]

just quick one, the last bit there about the only person it can hurt is you - so our fantasies can hurt us? which means that they can be bad for us, am I getting this part right or am I reading too much into this part.

Absolutely correct. To give one example, fantasising about a relationship with a straight guy on whom one has a crush, repeats the agony of then remembering he is straight and stops one moving on and trying to find a guy with whom a relationship is possible.


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[ToddYoung]

I think it's a bit simplistic to say that fantasies are always OK just because they're fantasies. For example, we wouldn't say to someone having suicidal fantasies that they should just indulge in the fantasies as long as they don't act them out, we would take the fantasies as a sign of something seriously wrong.

When it comes to sexual fantasies we get into a grey zone, because there are certainly any number of fantasies that are harmless, especially if they are incidental rather than recurring. But what if a person is having recurring rape fantasies about their neighbour?

Also, I don't think there is evidence that repressing of urges causes people to act badly. Sexual abuse occurs amongst all sets of people in positions of authority that have access to children. There is no good evidence of celibacy causing people to act out in unhealthy ways.

I certainly agree that if someone is having fantasies related to suicide or hurting themselves or hurting an actual person they know, then that is dangerous territory. It's a situation that could move out of the realm of fantasy.

[Aester]

Fantasies are good and bad. But as anything in this life, you need to balance. If you dream and fantasize to much it can have the effects of some drugs, either you feel that your life is to boring compare to the fantasies so you start become depressed or you will mix up reality with the fantasies and you loose the perception of what is right or wrong / True or False.

[princealbertofb]

I think it's a bit simplistic to say that fantasies are always OK just because they're fantasies. For example, we wouldn't say to someone having suicidal fantasies that they should just indulge in the fantasies as long as they don't act them out, we would take the fantasies as a sign of something seriously wrong.

When it comes to sexual fantasies we get into a grey zone, because there are certainly any number of fantasies that are harmless, especially if they are incidental rather than recurring. But what if a person is having recurring rape fantasies about their neighbour?

Also, I don't think there is evidence that repressing of urges causes people to act badly. Sexual abuse occurs amongst all sets of people in positions of authority that have access to children. There is no good evidence of celibacy causing people to act out in unhealthy ways.

No, indeed, you are right. But in the case of self-imposed celibacy for religious (or other reasons) it may be a harder one to clinch, because of the added pressure to conform to what is expected. Anyone who is just a bachelor can go out and seek sexual release if they are not imposing that restriction on themselves willfully, can't they?

[Uke]

Wrong? I don't know. Doing it may be wrong, and from moral aspect, even fantasizing some things is wrong. Be careful what you're fantasizing of! I mean, for example, if it's related to incest, pedophilia, etc it may severely damage your mental health, the way you think of your relatives or children etc.

The four golden rules (they're obvious when you think about it, but for some reason not everyone seem to comprehend these) :

- Interaction between legal adults
- Between same species
- Between non-relatives
- Everything is done without hurting anyone severely* (according to participants' will, mild violence such as spanking can be performed, but only with permission)

Obey these and you'll be just fine.