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thinking bout it
#1
So it was a rough week. yesterday i was sent back to my mothers house, since my sisters house rent was going to increase since i counted as another person. so i get back to my house yesterday and my mother says you have one week to find a job, or i kick you out into the street. Now i had my fill of her and the world in general. so i went and got a job within 24 hours of her telling me that. Which pays 13 dollars an hour. i can techniaclly move back in with my sister with that kinda of money- possible even into a bigger aparment! its a golden oppurtunity. i can also stay in my house and force my mother to do my bidding, since she is ready to lose the house, and actually seriously needs my help. so dont you see it. the opening. THE CHANCE TO FINALLY GET IT OFF MY CHEST. and tell her what i am. i cant really get kicked out because i can move in back with my sister, and she'll be happy to let me live with her, espescially when she can move to a bigger-quieter- apartment. with her quiet, kept to self brother. lol so i ahve no reason anymore to hide who i am. in the next couple months. possibly in january, i may very well do the thing we all cant forget! It will be- momumentous. everything- is changing- for the better- FINALLY. after three years! since i graduated. and my parent divorced and everything went to hell. i am finally getting my chance. the job is amazing compared to my last job, it has health-dental-and vision! i can get contacts finally! and basically give myself that much needed makeover! I've been wanting to layer and dye my hair red since FOREVER! lol! spruce myself up for the bars! (event though i dont drink-and never will!) But now- the reason- i wrote it is because- i wanna make sure you guys dont see a flaw i am not seeing. does it sound like a plan? nothing can go wrong right?! I have a backup plan and everything! well? SPEAK UP!Scatter
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#2
Well you always must think it over and over again...then again you are the master of your own life, I'm not going to tell you how to live it. If the opportunity is indeed as Golden as you said it'd be, well then take it.

Btw, I take it you haven't told her about your orientation? Sorry, I'm new here so I don't know folks around here Sad
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#3
from what you posted it was the initial contention that caused the good in your life?

i definitely would not burn bridges.

-become an honest gay man, out your self.
-hook up, date, have fun. get a boyfriend. start your own life, husband?
-help your mother. be careful in this. we cant change family members for the good if they are bad. so if you mother will champion you life, do the same for her in a proportional way.
-this is a post cataclysmic depression, dont depend on your new employ!
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#4
Congrats on the new job ManicLewis21! Its awesome that you were were able to find something good, especially within just 24 hours Smile

Can't really give advice on weather u should come out or not...
But If you feel you're truly ready (and your family will still accept you) then yeah go for it.
I agree with what some others have said here, your own place (If you can afford it, and feel comfortable living on your own)
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#5
pellaz Wrote:from what you posted it was the initial contention that caused the good in your life?

i definitely would not burn bridges.

-become an honest gay man, out your self.
-hook up, date, have fun. get a boyfriend. start your own life, husband?
-help your mother. be careful in this. we cant change family members for the good if they are bad. so if you mother will champion you life, do the same for her in a proportional way.
-this is a post cataclysmic depression, dont depend on your new employ!

Yeah, good advice. And I won't suggest if he should come out or not, but I will suggest this: Once you're on your own (and treading water, like the rest of us) start putting away (saving!) a little bit with each paycheck in order to build what they call an "emergency fund".

In these crazy times you'll need that little bit of insurance to help keep you independent and from running back to Mom (and hopefully her mercy and good graces) if things all go to hell.

One lesson re: money I learned too late in life: PAY YOURSELF FIRST before you pay your obligations (rent, utilities, etc.)

Good luck.
Smile
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#6
I thought about it- and i don't thiink i will abandon her- YET. i will be putting alot of money in savings until i get about maybe $10,000? then maybe i might do it- but i do plan to tell my friends MUCH EARLIER.
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#7
ManicLewis21 Wrote:I thought about it- and i don't thiink i will abandon her- YET. i will be putting alot of money in savings until i get about maybe $10,000? then maybe i might do it- but i do plan to tell my friends MUCH EARLIER.

Good man, save enough for at least 3 months of living expenses. If you can do it, shoot for 6 months.

Personally, I've never been unemployed longer than 3 months.

Best,
Smile
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#8
Congrats for getting a job, Lewis.

Regarding to coming out, do come out when you are really ready. Don't ever force yourself to come out when you are not ready. But it does sound like you are ready to come out. So good luck, Lewis!

Remember to spend your earning wisely. Remember to save a bit of your salary in a bank account - monthly. If you can't save a lot this month, it's okay. Just deposit as much as you can.

Contacts? Pfft. I think you look cute enough with glasses.
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#9
Go for it it sounds bloody amazing and to be honest if she dont accept your gay thats her problem not you... Life is about being honest and you might as well let your mum know gran kids come in the form of dogs and cats... Its how i told my mum lol... Plus mums are more likely to be happy for their kids than dads.......

Best of luck keep us informed.... Or even better present her with some cash on payday and say by the way mum im gay and walk off Dont hesistate or drag it out just blurt short and sweet

Kindest regards

zeon x
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#10
zeon Wrote:Go for it it sounds bloody amazing and to be honest if she dont accept your gay thats her problem not you... Life is about being honest and you might as well let your mum know gran kids come in the form of dogs and cats... Its how i told my mum lol... Plus mums are more likely to be happy for their kids than dads.......

Best of luck keep us informed.... Or even better present her with some cash on payday and say by the way mum im gay and walk off Dont hesistate or drag it out just blurt short and sweet

Kindest regards

zeon x

LOL, my mother is already a grandmother, so she'd better not bother me with that complaint (thank you older sister for having a child LOL) Lol i was thinking of doing it short and sweet- or possibly i'll leave a letter when i go to work one day. lol in this case i think it'd actually be my father who wouldn't care, my mother's gonna blow a gasket lol (uber religious woman). I'm preparing myself mentally atm. I plan on coming out to my friends first. Specifically the guy i have been crushing on for the past five years. I kinda have made myself numb just in case he's not gay. but if he is. I don't think i'll ever be happy than i will be at that second.
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