It's no use trying

[Keye]

I hate to say it but if you go back to him your admitting defeat, and you're just inviting more guys in the future to come and use 'you like a toy'.
Everyone has needs, but you have two hands that can also get the job done until you find someone suitable.

[pellaz]

... Im a hopeless romantic ...

its funny reading how boys are saving them selves for that sole mate. they have a standard. a relationship is lots of work and both guys (including YOU) have to want it real bad. you can not predict the situation that brought you to meeting your husband and his personality and looks. you meet someone and you dont get his time of day, a year later your his end game.

[cloud999]

I just wanna make it clear that this isnt just because of one lousy date. Every guy who has ever asked me on a date is the same. Sucks. Maybe i just attract those kinda guys?

If you keep catching rotten fish, check your bait. Where do you find these guys? And what do you do/wear/say that attracts them? This is critical.

[flyboy]

I hate to say it but if you go back to him your admitting defeat, and you're just inviting more guys in the future to come and use 'you like a toy'.
Everyone has needs, but you have two hands that can also get the job done until you find someone suitable.

You know, youre right. Im gonna stay away from him.

[Rawr]

seems like a bad week for everyone which just makes me think this week is going to be better Stay positive dude, there's plent of great guys out there. Also, don't say stuff like "I'm just a sex toy" if you believe that, then others are going to treat you that way. Stand up tall and if there not what your looking for, politely decline and walk away.

Stay strong bud, it's just a matter of time before Mr.Right comes calling :3

[ManicReptile21]

i think you've confused lust with love. when a man who lusts and a man who loves join together, there is nothing but destruction left for both of you. search for a man who loves. Its time to stop paying attention to physical details. You want real love? you'll have to work for it. At age 18 you can easily make it happen. Just put some bloddy effort into it. starting off with sex is terrible.

think of a meal- you always save dessert for last right? WTF ARE YOU STARTING WITH DESSERT. WORK FOR IT AND STOP LYING TO YOURSELF SAYING YOU'RE JUST A TOY. i refuse to give you sympathy, get off your lazy buttock and learn to love properly. I hate to be so strict. BUT ITS THE ONLY WAY TO SAY IT.

[dfiant]

Unfortunately at age 18, most guys are not seen as 'relationship material'. Fresh out of school and full of teen hormones, most 18 year olds are seen as an 'opportunity', especially when you go meeting guys off Grindr and the likes. Most guys, especially older guys will see guys your age for no strings fun because basically they don't take you seriously. Most men see teenagers as hornbags with no relationship prospects so they are an easy target.

None of this is your fault, and not every man you will meet on your road through life will be like this. What you are going through is a life lesson, you are learning about lust, about falling in lust.

Yes its the internet age, an age where you can be completely anonymous, and meeting people on the internet is going to lead to nothing but anonymous sex 99% of the time.

Don't be so desperate at age 18 to meet Mr Right because the reality is you will not, not many people do, especially ones that try hard. Finding Mr Right happens, there is no magical concoction that makes it happen....when it is your time it just happens...until then, RELAX, build friendship, make new friendships and just let life happen

[Bowyn Aerrow]

It seems to me you have just entered the early stages of your 'Bitter Old, Jaded Queen' era.

Sorry, your experience is what has created a ton of Jaded mean queens.

Years ago I was pretty much in your shoes. Looking for love in all the wrong places, with a 'type' of man that I wanted, and all of this notions of what to expect.

One day at K-mart (Yes I shopped at Kmart) I picked up a magic eight ball. some snot nosed brat had ripped it out of its box, so it was just on the floor, waiting for me.

For a lark I asked 'Will I ever meet my perfect match?'

The 8 ball replied 'Definitely No'

Disheartened by the answer I tried once more, rephrasing my question: Will I ever have a long term relationship?

To that the 8ball said: 'Definitely Yes.'

That 8-ball didn't lie to me. Had I known it was that accurate, I would have bought it and made millions! for I ended up being in a very long relationship. No it was not with my 'ideal man'. But it was with a man and much better than the relationship with my first lover (that lasted two years) who went to prison for murder (still serving time decades later). Most definitely better than my second who beat me so bad i spent three days in hospital and a month on crutches and still to this very day ache in the chest because of him... No not because my heart aches, but because the break in my rib cage is unsettled by raining weather.

Of course the 8ball most likely didn't know anything.

What happened? I changed my criteria for what my 'perfect' man looked like.

Instead of going for the tall, muscular, jock type (who tend to end up either fat and bald, or committing violent crimes due to too much testosterone) I opened the doors to many more types of men, allowing myself to find a good man, not what I thought was my 'perfect match.'

My third, and last, lover has lasted over 20 years. Perfect? hell no. I most likely can check off a list as long as you are tall on his faults, foibles, weaknesses and lacks.

Faithful - to the bitter end. Decent, nearly to a fault - heavy on the nearly.

Perfect? No. Tanned, tall, muscular, masculine - LOL... in my dreams.

Seems to me that you need to open up the door to possibilities and learn to accept that a romantic, decent, hardworking fellow most likely will not fit into your narrow 'desire' for physical beauty.

Another thing you might want to try, is telling the guy - I don't care if he is Adonis, that you want to wait a week or a month before sex, insisting that you want to date, talk, watch movies, maybe cuddle before sex takes place. Those guys who are honest an sincere in wanting a relationship have waited a long time, they are willing to wait a little longer.

The real dogs, the 'fuck em and forget em' types... they will slink off to prey on some other victim.


Happy Howl-ooo-Weeen!

[CellarDweller]

Flyboy, I don't mean this as an insult, but you are only 18. It's waaaay too soon for you to give up in this way.

Maybe you should try to change where you are meeting people. Instead of online, maybe join a social network (a real one, not facebook) where you can meet other guys face to face, let friendships develop, and see where it goes from there.

[flyboy]

Hey guys! Thank you for all your replies... Ive been taking all of it into consideration.

Something strange happened today. That guy, the one who used me as a toy, asked me out just to hang out. I made it clear that i didn't wanna do anything. He said he was sorry for doing what he did and we ended up having a great time. The conversation was great and he even gave me a small sweet peck before i left haha