HOLDING HANDS IN PUBLIC (pda)

[jamiebfd]

ok so holding hands in public is a problem for me.
Where i live is a muslim majority and holding another lads hand wouldnt go down too well.

Just out of curiosity.... do any of you hold your same sex partners hand in public?
Do you get funny looks or dodgey comments made toward you?

[pellaz]

gayspeak represents a lot of different environments.
where i live:
they built the airport a distance from the city, in a small community where i live. it was formally mostly farming and is now converting to suburban houses.
the pda:
partner and i do mostly everything together for the time we are not at work. i came from a straight relationship where you "are allowed to kiss" hold hands. i see no reason to stop this with my partner now. a big difference; the younger peeps you know dont care. the older people i can stare down to ashes.

-for the week end we wind up mostly in the city, a gayhood; the Cap Hill neighborhood in Denver. i would like to move from where i am at. i am getting tired of driving 30miles to do anything. my partner has indicated his displeasure of all the pick up trucks in various parking lots where we now live.

-the other day i was at a cap hill gym and was surprised to see a couple in the locker room, just leaving as i was arriving. with only 3-5% of the population gay, its not a common sight.

[fenris]

I hate to be touched and holding hands :eek: no ..thanks ... I have two hands... why I should touch another My friends know that ..even that I don´t want to be hugged or kissed for welcome or goodbye..

But... if I would feel that holding hands is important for me ... I would do it but only then, when I know it is ok for people arround

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I live in California. Now most people think that California is all liberal and understanding, the reality is that out here in the predominately Rural Central Valley, conservatives rule.

As such PDA (kissing, holding hands, even using terms of endearment) can lead and has lead to public outbursts by the closeted homosexuals, erm I do mean homophobes

Back when the Gay Marriage bill (Prop 22 I think it was called) was first initiated, a lot more gay bashing took place. While I and my partner do not hide the fact that we are a couple, we do not advertise. However a slip up in the store (he calling me sweetie) lead to a confrontation that was both verbal and ultimately lead to the word FAGOT being keyed into the side of my truck.

The guy who did the keying had seen us in the parking lot as we left my truck to go into the store. He even followed us around for a while. So he was intent on stirring up a mess. Thus he was already primed and ready to go, looking for a reason.

This is not typical behavior of the 'haters' in my area. Most are usually blind to what my partner and I are, not aware unless we signal what we are by PDA or other signs. however if you poke the bear things turn verbally ugly fast.

[jamiebfd]

I live in California. Now most people think that California is all liberal and understanding, the reality is that out here in the predominately Rural Central Valley, conservatives rule.

As such PDA (kissing, holding hands, even using terms of endearment) can lead and has lead to public outbursts by the closeted homosexuals, erm I do mean homophobes

Back when the Gay Marriage bill (Prop 22 I think it was called) was first initiated, a lot more gay bashing took place. While I and my partner do not hide the fact that we are a couple, we do not advertise. However a slip up in the store (he calling me sweetie) lead to a confrontation that was both verbal and ultimately lead to the word FAGOT being keyed into the side of my truck.

The guy who did the keying had seen us in the parking lot as we left my truck to go into the store. He even followed us around for a while. So he was intent on stirring up a mess. Thus he was already primed and ready to go, looking for a reason.

This is not typical behavior of the 'haters' in my area. Most are usually blind to what my partner and I are, not aware unless we signal what we are by PDA or other signs. however if you poke the bear things turn verbally ugly fast.

Well i can say that i have not had to endure any confrontations about my sexuality but my boyfriend has.
He is the more camp of us two and for him it is obvious that he is gay. They have never been more than verbal abuse though and when we are together it never happens.
I do get the feeling that if we were to engage in PDA that we would have problems.
Such a sad thing really that two people who love each other have to hold back their affection because of the thoughts and mind set of others.
But i guess thats the world we live in

[Almac]

ok so holding hands in public is a problem for me.
Where i live is a muslim majority and holding another lads hand wouldnt go down too well.

Just out of curiosity.... do any of you hold your same sex partners hand in public?
Do you get funny looks or dodgey comments made toward you?

Hi James, and I always thought Bradford was in England, does these Muslims ever take into account they are not in Pakistan? Thankfully where I live it's more or less 99% Anglo Saxon, but still I'm not sure I would go around hand in hand...!

[oldster]

that has been on of my things i wished that was ok and accepted in the usa
when i was a kid i was told to always hold my brothers hand i really don't remember the age at which it stopped.
But i have always loved the thought and action of stroling some where with us
holding hands it dosent have to be a lover but even an aquantaance i feel like there is more of a bond when i do but then i am a incourgable romantic.
but reeally cant understand why it bothers people maby if someone tryed to hold hands with them i could see the restance.
but in my culture shacking hands is normal and if you ever watch in any emotional situation people people are always holding others hands for support or condolance.
i guess thats why guys take that to be a sign of homosexual outward apperiance.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Several years ago through another forum a gal sent me an email asking me if gays really do love each other, because she never sees them holding hands, kissing, etc.

She failed to understand that if gays do it, they are condemned....

Damned if you do, damned if you don't'...

[CellarDweller]

I love touching, hugging, holding hands and kissing. That being said, I usually only do it in a "safe" environment.

I once had a (very) long distance relationship with a guy from New Zealand. He came to NYC and we met up. Our fist night together, I took him to Central Park, and planted a big kiss on him. Just at that moment, someone rode by on a bike, and he pulled away. He explained to me that in NZ, when he did that once, he had bottles thrown at him.

I told him that we were in NYC, and things were more relaxed. We were in the village, and he was cold (it was Feb) so I stood behind him, unzipped my jacket, put my hands into my pockets, and then wrapped my arms around him.

Our last night together that trip was Valentine's Day.....and he took me to dinner. I asked where he wanted to go, and he said "The Village".....I told him he was in the village, was there somewhere specific he wanted to go. He said "no, I just want to walk around and hold your hand."

We walked around for an hour, holding hands and kissing. Best Valentine's Day ever!

I even "mauled" him in the elevator back at the hotel......as soon as the doors closed, I pounced....started kissing, holding and tickling him....suddenly, the elevator stopped and we heard the "ding", so we parted, but maybe not quick enough. LOL I was trying not to laugh as the 3rd person entered the elevator, and poor Matthew was in shock. LOL We all got off on the same floor, but the 3rd person went off in a different direction, but I turned around, and caught him looking at us....he knew something was up.

[Thibideau]

In my area recently there was a big gay rights rally about an issue having to do with this.

A lesbian couple was asked to leave a local coffee shop because they were kissing. As a result the gay community got in a huge uproar and held a protest outside of the coffee shop. But when I read up on it, it turns out the patron who complained didn't even know it was 2 women, he just saw a couple going at it pretty aggressively in front of his child(Forget the age). The coffee shop had already issued some kind of statement to the effect as well.

I was pretty conflicted about it to be honest. On one hand I know I should support the LGBT community, on the other hand I don't like to see two straight people making out in public so I can't really condone a LGBT couple doing it.

I guess it all comes down to respecting your community. Holding hands in public may be ok in some urban settings, but there's a lot of places outside of major cities where it could cause a stir. Hopefully most people agree that watching people maul one another in public, regardless of gender, is kinda nasty.