Advice for increasing my penis sensitivity?

[MysteryGuest]

Premature ejaculation is something that most men dread, but for me it's the opposite. I don't know why, but every single time I've had sex it's taken me forever to cum, if I do at all! As you can imagine, this is really frustrating.

Now, I'm not very sexually active. I had a boyfriend some time ago, but it was a long distance relationship. The few times we met up we had a decent amount of sex, though, so it's not like I'm completely inexperienced. I've also had a few flings with both men and women. No matter who the guy is I still have the same problem, and I've never even cum with a women.

When I start to have sex, it's like I get too nervous and overexcited and overthink everything, and as a result even when I concentrate on the act and try to clear my mind it still takes quite a while to get me to the tipping point. Sometimes I even "lose it" and need to get myself hard again, which is really embarrassing...

tl;dr, is there any way to increase my penile sensitivity so that I can reach orgasm faster?

[LateBloomer]

Premature ejaculation is something that most men dread, but for me it's the opposite. I don't know why, but every single time I've had sex it's taken me forever to cum, if I do at all! As you can imagine, this is really frustrating.

Now, I'm not very sexually active. I had a boyfriend some time ago, but it was a long distance relationship. The few times we met up we had a decent amount of sex, though, so it's not like I'm completely inexperienced. I've also had a few flings with both men and women. No matter who the guy is I still have the same problem, and I've never even cum with a women.

When I start to have sex, it's like I get too nervous and overexcited and overthink everything, and as a result even when I concentrate on the act and try to clear my mind it still takes quite a while to get me to the tipping point. Sometimes I even "lose it" and need to get myself hard again, which is really embarrassing...

tl;dr, is there any way to increase my penile sensitivity so that I can reach orgasm faster?

Take the focus OFF of your penis. Your problem is called "spectating".

You're a spectator of your own performance during sex. Your penis is fine, but now you're suffering from "performance anxiety" (stage fright).

Just learn (and this will take practice) to relax and BE IN THE MOMENT. Stop trying to ACHIEVE an orgasm. Work on *sensuality*, slow down, use the rest of your body and MIND.

There's nothing wrong with your penis. Your biggest sex organ is between your ears.



Have fun working on this.
P.S. I used to have the same problem but blamed it on condoms.

[Aester]

From a nutritious perspective, eat a lot of seafood especially oysters, they contain a lot of Zink that will increase sexual activity in booth male and female.

[fenris]

Sex is no power sport and you have nothing urgent to deliver.... as long as you are not the best boy in a sperm bank
See Sex as what it is ... fun ... intimate... a chance to learn about your and maybe your partners body. If your body / nerves think that you are not ready to cum... who cares ? Ok ...if you have sex 5 minutes before the bus arrives ... then you have to hurry ... but normally if you need more time... who cares ?
Many younger people think the goal of sex is to reach a orgasm... maybe as fast as you can to show your partner that you like / love him...but - for my experiences - it is not important to cum... it is importent to feel good and safe, to have fun ...
Start with a complete other way as normally ... take a bath with your partner... play around... watch a new DVD ... but don´t set yourself under pressure.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Men -all of us - tend to 'play' too rough with ourselves, as a consequence we desensitize 'down yonder'. There is no hole as tight as a fist, and there is no way we can thrust our hips as fast as we can piston the palm.

The fix is to use a toy that mimics the soft, giving openings of a human, and use your hips over your hands along with lots and lots of lube. OR you can have someone else 'tease' you... using slower movements and a much weaker grip with lots of lube. If you have control over yourself then do it yourself IF you can keep from getting rough on yourself. Over time you will regain sensitivity.

You might be excited, but are you really excited?

Most of sex takes place between the ears, not between the legs. all of the data you brain picks up from physical sensations to scents, sights, sounds combine with your 'internal fantasy' about what it is you are doing.

EXAMPLE: Ever see Jeff Stryker (A porn star, does both straight and gay porn) in action? Now, have you ever covered the screen, turned up the volume and hear Jeff Stryker?

His popularity is not just his endowments, His popularity is also his ability to 'verbally masturbate' the viewer and himself and his partner(s). Not only does he 'talk dirty' he breaths loud and roughly. Just breathing alone you think 'OMG he is about ready to blow'. Why he is more popular than other actors who share similar endowments is because of all of that 'verbal masturbating'.

In his best of times with other actors he can play them up and get them verbally acting as well. With both of them making lots of verbal noises, they end up feeding off each other, pushing their excitement upward, while pushing any erroneous thoughts out of their head. If you can find a partner that plays along, you will most likely find yourself too wrapped up in the sex to worry about performance.

Performance Anxiety: You worry too much.

I'm sorry, there is no 'fast' cure for that. You will need to figure out how to not be self conscious and just let matters go. Most men you meet will tire, true, but many of them LIKE to work it and be tired afterward. Your being worried that they may think X may actually be causing a lot of issues for you. Stop worrying, let go, let the experience go where it wants. Most people have a secret desire for sex to last 4, 5 more hours... you seem to be one that can prolong the activities for them. Consider it an asset, not a liability. If you are a top, more the kudos to you. Make your partner satisfy you.... most like that - a lot.

Another issue here is that your experience has been 'flings'.

While most gay men will lie through their teeth and tell you this ain't so, the reality is that humans need a bit more connection than 'just sex' to be fully comfortable and willing to 'share' themselves with their partner. While there are those who need less connection, a good number of us need a bit more than a cocktail to feel 100% at ease with the person we are with.

It may be that you are more relationship material than casual sex material.

You might also want to consider experimentation when it comes to sex acts. Maybe you are doing vanilla but are not really into vanilla. Maybe you need a little leather, a little spanking, a little rope, a little 'something' else to make the experience fill your needs. I'm not you, you ultimately are the only one who knows what you fantasize about.

[oldster]

ok what is your motavation going to bed with a guy are you just out to get your cookies or what
Persoanly i do it to get as much pleasure for the both of us i go too fast but then the 4 or 5 time it takes me alot longer to cum and its much better for both of us not to say i am a super guy that can just
fire off one after another it might take me 8 or ten hours for the 4th or 5 to occur it is just i like long long sessions wwith many parts and restarts when i was young and playing lots would invite people over for dinner friday night and they would go home like wen's or thursday the next week exausted but happy

[MysteryGuest]

Thanks for all of your replies, there's some really helpful information here.

I'd say my motivation for sex is pretty much entirely to "get my cookies" as oldster put it. I've really never had a romantic relationship. Even the relationship I mentioned earlier wasn't truly romantic; it was sort of an experiment on my end, and it inevitably ended because he loved me and I didn't really feel the same way about him.

I've always seen sex as a sort of primal, animalistic, lustful act rather than a sweet, soft, and caring one. That's how I like it, and my kinks fall in line with that to an extent. Problem is, it seems like my mind is out of sync with my body on the matter. Situations that would get me really turned on in a porno don't necessarily do it for me in real life for some reason.

I'd say the previous posters probably have me pegged correctly with performance anxiety. Also, I've never really been to a shrink or anything, but I'd say I have some low self esteem issues that also might be contributing (though I'm working those out myself, with time). None of that makes it any less frustrating though. I'll certainly be trying some of the advice given by you guys in the future.

[LateBloomer]

Thanks for all of your replies, there's some really helpful information here.

I'd say my motivation for sex is pretty much entirely to "get my cookies" as oldster put it. I've really never had a romantic relationship. Even the relationship I mentioned earlier wasn't truly romantic; it was sort of an experiment on my end, and it inevitably ended because he loved me and I didn't really feel the same way about him.

I've always seen sex as a sort of primal, animalistic, lustful act rather than a sweet, soft, and caring one. That's how I like it, and my kinks fall in line with that to an extent. Problem is, it seems like my mind is out of sync with my body on the matter. Situations that would get me really turned on in a porno don't necessarily do it for me in real life for some reason.

I'd say the previous posters probably have me pegged correctly with performance anxiety. Also, I've never really been to a shrink or anything, but I'd say I have some low self esteem issues that also might be contributing (though I'm working those out myself, with time). None of that makes it any less frustrating though. I'll certainly be trying some of the advice given by you guys in the future.

That seems like a pretty honest reply. So I'm pretty sure if you're that honest with yourself and us you'll tackle the problem with a little practice.

Yeah, sex can be "primal", but it can also be "transcendental". If you'd like to "transcend" try taking the focus off of YOURSELF and put it on to your partner.

Good luck.