Don't worry about labels, just be who you are and if people want to label you then, that is there problem. I used to debate on who I was all the time when I came out because I was like in the past I had enjoyed my sexual contact with girls but then I also really enjoyed sexual contact with guys. Then after being out for like 6 years I started to realize that perhaps I am attracted to females still, yet most likely I will never have sexual contact with a female again because I just feel more comfortable with other guys than girls. Just be who you are and everything will fall into place.
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Bisexual is complicated and hard to understand.
I used to think that I am exclusively homosexual until one day I explored that I might be bi. ( it freaked me out just as much when I began to identify myself as a gay man).
You might want to look at Kinsey's scale:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
It ranks from 0 to 6 with 6 is exclusively homosexual and 0 is exclusively heterosexual.
From your post, I guess you are around 4-5
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Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:A
Most (not all) bisexuals will identify with being 'straight' or 'gay' depending on who they are with currently. This is largely due to acceptance by both hetero and homo 'cultures'. Both fail to accept bisexuals 100% without conditions.
Bisexual can also be a 'stepping stone' from hetero to homo. It is easier in many ways to come to grips of being 'merely' bisexual, instead of feeling a whole commitment to 'I am gay'. Being bi is usually more tolerated in straight society more than being gay.
Phelps and company don't carry signs that read 'God Hates Bi's'.....
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Fact is in GLBT community, being "Bi" is way harder than being "gay".
Most of my gay friends claimed that they would never date a Bi guy. Some believe that Bi guy is just gay guy in a denial stage. The others believe that Bi guys have double chance of being a slut since they can just hook up with anyone so if they date a Bi guy they would have to constantly worry about being cheated on.
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posterpicture Wrote:Fact is in GLBT community, being "Bi" is way harder than being "gay".
Most of my gay friends claimed that they would never date a Bi guy. Some believe that Bi guy is just gay guy in a denial stage. The others believe that Bi guys have double chance of being a slut since they can just hook up with anyone so if they date a Bi guy they would have to constantly worry about being cheated on. I know guys who identify as gay but secretly enjoy lesbian porn for this very reason. It's hypocritical.
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I'm still amazed at the recurring "am i str8, bi or gay?" posts. I guess it speaks to the fact that socieity has progressed to the point where these topics can be discussed openly, but one point that always seems to be absent from the responses is: BEING GAY IS NOT ABOUT SEX, IT IS ABOUT LOVE!
The fact that so many of the posts by bi-questioning folks is about SEX speaks more to maturity than sexual identity. Now, i'm NOT calling bi-questioning folks immature in the negative sense, what I am saying is that as we grow in age and life experience, our feelings, perceptions, likes and dislikes, etc. change. It's just a natural part of growing older.
I do get on a rant about "bisexuality" because at one time i identified as bi ( i was married, with children, house, 1 dog, 1 cat, picket fence - the "american dream" but i was also openly bi in my marriage). A couple years later my wife left me and said, "you need to figure out if you're gay or not, only then can we decide if we'll stay together." I changed jobs, moved to another city to start my "search" for my true self. A couple months into my new life i met a guy, fell in love and 2 years later had a committment ceremony with him.
Up until i met him, i still identified as "bi." That is, until i fell in love. YOu see, it was LOVE that helped me truely understand that deep in my heart-of-hears, i knew that the sex of the person i would wake up to every day was NOT a female - but a male!
So, while this is a round-about response to your question, being bi or gay is NOT about porn, crotch-watching, cum-shots or kissing - it's ULTIMATLY about discovering and ACCEPTING the reality that its LOVE - deep, committed, "can't finish a breath without you" passion for someone that will answer all your questions.
So, until that happens, watch all the gay porn you want. Date whoever you want - male and or female. Enjoy safer sex (condoms) with men and women. Eventually, one will come along that will trip that switich where you have that "ah-ha" moment and you'll say to yourself, "I can see myself with this person for the rest of my life." Then things will be clearer!
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True. The focus on the word homosexual is homoSEXual.
There is more to sexuality than the sex, its who you want to be with, how being with that person makes you feel, in and out of bed.
Unfortunately I get 'bashed' for my 'overly romantic' leanings. To many will sit there and tell me it is all about sex because that they are currently seeking for.
The Gay community has labored under that false dichotomy that sex is not love, that the two are wholly exclusive and its still impossible for two men to really love each other.
And that is caused by the Orwellian truth Sixty-two thousand four hundred repetitions make one truth.
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Rutstuck Wrote:Im 23 I had a girlfriend for five years who I enjoyed having sex with.
I've also had sex with men and really enjoyed it but one guy tried to kiss me and I just couldn't do it.
I do know that Ive never been able to see myself with a man I'd rather be romantically involved with women.
Why do I get turned on more by gay thoughts and gay porn more than thinking and looking at women? These actions constantly lead me to believe I might be gay but I just don't see how if if never wanted to be with a man
a mostly gay boy will not function well in a mostly straight relationship. love your self first.
living with a wife instead of a husband is the accepted moral standard and does simplify one's life. i would suggest you take that path unless you can give your self permission to be the best gay man you can be. take away the moral implications and relationships are mostly the same.
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Sounds like you are stuck in the middle, so to speak, you get turned on to one sex in a certain way and to the other in a completely different way. On one hand you enjoy having sex with both sexes but you might enjoy one over the other, and get turned on by one sex instead of the other. Only you can determine if you are gay or not but no matter how you choose to live your life remember that this is your life to live and no one elses. Look back at your life and see what made you happier being with women or with men, since you enjoy both in certain ways, and go for that. Or you can sit back and see what happends, one day you will find that Mr or Mrs perfect that is out there just for you. I wouldn't fret to much on this and live your life, and enjoy whatever comes your way.
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posterpicture Wrote:Fact is in GLBT community, being "Bi" is way harder than being "gay".
Most of my gay friends claimed that they would never date a Bi guy. Some believe that Bi guy is just gay guy in a denial stage. The others believe that Bi guys have double chance of being a slut since they can just hook up with anyone so if they date a Bi guy they would have to constantly worry about being cheated on.
Same in the lesbian community. First there's a popular idea that bi women aren't so much bi as they are sluts and treated as such. Then there's the common idea that bi women will eventually leave you for a man, because her life would be so much easier if she did, after all. And there are less common negative stereotypes as well.
As a result, many bi women will claim to be lesbian when around lesbians. Back when I was much more likely to give a man a chance a lesbian friend told me I wasn't bi but a "blesbian" (bi-curious lesbian) and said if I was seen as bi that I'd be shunned by too many. Which is perhaps why I nearly found myself in a fight when I first interacted in the lesbian scene because I noticed one woman with a very high sex drive would go for a man if she couldn't get a woman and after hearing her drunkenly rant about bisexuals I asked her (simply curious and not meaning anything bad at all) why she hated bisexuals so much when she had more sex with men than many straight women and her reaction was to try to assault me (luckily she was drunk and I easily dodged her, kicked her in the back of the knee and ran before she could come after me, which I understand many found hilarious and I was first told about "dyke drama" over that incident, though I'm in retrospect I'm not sure the term "dyke drama" applies since we didn't even know each other that well).
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cloud999 Wrote:I know guys who identify as gay but secretly enjoy lesbian porn for this very reason. It's hypocritical.
Interesting. Do you know if that's lesbian porn made by men for men, or made by lesbians for lesbians? Yes, there's a difference (a hottie dif!  ). I normally can't stand lesbian porn made by men (I'd literally rather see straight porn, though I'm not much a fan of that either, unless it's also made by women for women).
There's also The L Word which was popular with women of all sexual orientations (and more than one straight woman claimed it made her question her sexuality), but despite the steamy lesbian sex (with some occasional straight sex and gay male sex scenes) guys seemed to give it a pass. To the best of my knowledge not even many gay men could get into it. If anyone could tell me different I'd be curious to hear of it.
As for me I looked at yaoi (Japanese comics featuring gay men love aimed at women typically made by women) because I was curious about it and found it intriguing (I was more into the romance & relationship side than its erotic side, however), though I didn't fully get into it. But I liked it a lot better than bara (Japanese comics/toons featuring gay male love aimed at gay men typically made by gay men). So I do believe that as a general rule men and women enjoy erotic elements differently (there are at least a few men, gay and straight. who seem to prefer what women come up with and a few women who prefer the porn made by men so it's not universally true).
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