I've been searching around for answers to questions on anal sex and I have found quite a few pieces of advice. But I wanted to hear about it more on a personal level.
Like, When you first had anal sex, what was it like? Was it a bad/good experience? Did you come across any embarrassing situations?
Also, About fitting anal sex around your... bowels schedule, how difficult was/is it?
Hygiene is also something I worry about. Of course I'd like to be clean down there for my partner when/if the time comes. I would expect the same from my partner. How do you make sure all is well? How do you feel about your/your partners anal hygiene?
Thanks in advance
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I will leave the technical to this site: http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_50...guide.html
The reality is that most people have a bowel movement, emptying the last 12-18 inches of the lower intestine on a 'regular basis'. It takes time for fecal matter to arrive back there.
Lube and condoms, condoms and Lube. did I fail to mention condoms?
In case you need a method to recall that last:
Condomize before you sodomize.
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One thing that really helps is not eating anything between the time you use the restroom and the time you have anal sex. Lube is almost required and condoms are a VERY good idea.
You both have to be aware that you're having anal sex and things could be messy. Put a towel down on the bed just in case, relax, and have fun. Condoms also help make clean-up easier.
Honestly, I sort of regard anal sex as a "dirty" activity. When my boyfriend penetrates me we make sure to have a towel down and that we're done with any oral sex etc. It's never been a big mess, but I don't wanna suck it at that point either.
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The first time I had anal sex, I totally had no idea what I was doing, I was far too nervous, and went way too fast. Luckily, I had a partner who was patient and knew how to calm me down, which made a huge difference. It was not embarrassing at all. We used lube and a condom, and after some time, it worked and was very enjoyable. Always use your intuition.
Keeping yourself clean is a great habit. I agree with michaelson; be sure and make preparations.
A) You will be cleaner.
B) You will be more comfortable and relaxed.
Win/Win
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As others have said, condoms are great, not only for their STD protection, but because they keep shit off your dick (which can happen). Lube and go slowly at first. Usually a good idea to go with fingers first...once you can get four in, he's good to go. Even a virgin hole that is stretched with four fingers will take a cock just fine. And be very generous with the lube. Edges and dry patches are your enemies.
As for the act itself...as a top, it's best to react to your partner. Since you're in control of the pacing...change it up. I've found suddenly pulling out, pausing while he catches his breath, and ploughing back in to the hilt, and then jackhammer can be particularly amazing. I know a guy whose legs start uncontrollably spasming when I do that...so it can be mind-blowing.
But don't expect mind-blowing your first time, at all. It will probably be a flop. Just be happy if you can get the parts together and in without any pain or feces. Baby steps.
I've also found it more convenient just to clean my partner's ass myself. In the shower, of course. Warm wet jets can also be great foreplay, to set the mood.
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Lastly, I'll add in the anal is not the penultimate form of sex. It's inherently dirty (in a literal sense), and done poorly can be painful and traumatic for the bottom. Nor are all guys equally sensitive to bottoming. It's not uncommon to prefer oral or frot to anal, if it doesn't work well for you and your partner.
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I was nervous my first time because I was so worried that it was going to hurt. In the end, it hardly did! Always use lube (Whatever you use, make sure it doesn't have any fragrance or alcohol, I think that hurt more than the actual penetration the one time I used some kind of cream as a substitute) and "starting small" with fingers lets you get used to having something there before the guy goes in because it's a really uncomfortable/foreign experience that'll take some time to get adjusted to.
As for being clean, I don't know if it's my diet or what but I've never had any bad experiences and I can't give any tips either. And I wouldn't say my first time was an amazing experience, it was just alright in retrospect (but when I first did it I was excited and thought it was the best thing ever), I feel like I could have done better or something.
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Hello there,
I think the first time i experienced anal sex was when I had a boyfriend in Nairn just outside inverness... It was nice to be honest but also a bit of a stingy sensation but once ya got over the short sharp sting it was easy and enjoyable.. The best thing to do with bowels is just before sex go to toilet and then realease the load and afterwards have a quick bath so your clean and ready... Of course not a deep bath just a shallow throw water round the place kind of bath...
Well with regards to gay sex and the hygine its a bit like the lottery.... Sometimes ya win and get a clean one and sometimes ya loose and get a shitty horrible one which quickly ends the sex moment... Its called life
Kindest regards
Zeon x
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my first time was not all that great. i was too paranoid. i get a laugh of how some guys are saving themselves for the right guy. must be a let down for them that first experience was not as expected.
first time in all this, he should top but either way no big. i dont think i will ever be able to get off as a bottom. sometimes i would not say it hurts but you feel phucked. there is the matter of foreplay and its easy for the top to set the pace. so i maybe never met the right guy but someone out there is striving to be the best gay he can be right?
water based lube and a condom are absolutely essential. if you fee you use too much lube it should be just about right. be an organized gay; have towels, lube, condoms all there, no big. there is a semi effective hep a/b vaccination available, its a series of three shots, get the vaccination.!
an enema is not essential. the rectum doesn't normally contain feces until you're actually taking a dump. either way the timing of an enema is not critical. Your not purging your entire intestinal tract but emptying your lower bowel and it should last you several hours. if it makes you feel more confidant its a good thing.
an "embarrassing situation" is possible. think it through tho; are you going to be totally paranoid about it and spoil the mood every time. how much would you want this sex if you were not getting it regular? how much effort do you put into your boy friend? how often do you think of your partner during the day? so even for the worst case dont be embarrassed. just never be that way.
sex is not dirty. being human, vaginal or anal sex is just playing the role of who we are. if you share your body with someone there are risks and anal sex is prone to viral infections so use a condom.
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Thank you all for the advice and information. I was also interested to hear your opinions and experiences.
I'm also keeping in mind what some of you have said about protection (which is important to me) and to pellaz, Yes I think I will definitely get the vaccinations if I find that anal sex is something I will do with a partner.
Thank you all again  mile:
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Here are my experiences
As a top, you must wear a condom, and you must use plenty of lube, and you MUST be sensitive to how things feel to your bottom. The bottom should control things, how hard, how deep how fast, etc, if you go too hard, too deep, too fast he will not enjoy it, so go with his reactions. That being said, I have found that the easiest position to use for the first time with a new parterner is face to face with his legs on your shoulders. It allows you to control speed, depth and force easily and it allows you to see how things are going for him.
As a bottom, only done this once so my experience is limited. We first tried doggy and it hurt A LOT, then we turned over and went face to face and it hurt a little but I was able to feel pleasure as well. I don't know if this was an anatomical thing, as he had a downward curving cock, or if it was just how things work for me, but, that's what worked for me. It helped that I was INCREDIBLY attracted to him. I'd like to try it more and with other guys to see how I accept different cocks, but I haven't done that yet.
In the end my advice is, go slow, wear a condom, use plenty of lube, and let the bottom control things.
Hope this helps.
Richard
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