i think its time i tell him

[posterpicture]

Not to discourage you but my 3 years friendship with my best friend who I loved more than anything in this world ( in bromance way ) went down to the drain because of my sexual orientation.

[LateBloomer]

Good luck Lewis, keep us posted.

[Rainbowmum]

I am so very proud of you Lewis.
Go for it sweetie.

[Thibideau]

It sounds like the right thing to do. I'm sure everything will work out in the long run. It's never easy coming out to people when you're not sure how they'll react but it always feels better eventually. Kind of like pulling off a band-aid. Best of luck!

[ManicReptile21]

well we were messaging each other over the computer bascially yelling because i couldn't yell at him in person. I tried to get a hold of him because i wanted to speak to him and person- so i had nochoice but to start yelling at him online. i'm leaving so much out because there is so much to say. But- basically the last message he sent me included his phone number- as if i didnt already know. So he's giving me the oppurtunity to talk in person. he wants to go for dinner and discuss everything over that. but i think i'll take a walk to the park or something and tell him to meet me there. I don't want to have him flip out in a restaurant or something. So i am to call him and basically schedule what could be our last talk- as friends. this will be the make or break conversation after the next conversation we may not be friends anymore. i am anxious- nervous, so many things right now. by this point if things go wrong, i'm not afraid of being outed. i trust him enough. but if he does do it- it'll seal the deal on EVERYTHING pretty much. i'm worn out and tired of playing the game of "deception" having to play a different charater everyday and actually having people believe thats who i really am. I have told you guys in the past that it would be my exhaustion that would probably out me. So its time, all i have to do is call him. I'm ready to stop living a lie now. Its frightening, but i am ready for the worst of it. I am ready. I have been ready for ages now. i have building my courage and my willpower. I've set up backup plans and counter attacks over the past few years. but i hope i will not have to use them. I simply hope if he doesnt like the fact that im gay he'll just walk away quietly.

[LateBloomer]

well we were messaging each other over the computer bascially yelling because i couldn't yell at him in person. I tried to get a hold of him because i wanted to speak to him and person- so i had nochoice but to start yelling at him online. i'm leaving so much out because there is so much to say. But- basically the last message he sent me included his phone number- as if i didnt already know. So he's giving me the oppurtunity to talk in person. he wants to go for dinner and discuss everything over that. but i think i'll take a walk to the park or something and tell him to meet me there. I don't want to have him flip out in a restaurant or something. So i am to call him and basically schedule what could be our last talk- as friends. this will be the make or break conversation after the next conversation we may not be friends anymore. i am anxious- nervous, so many things right now. by this point if things go wrong, i'm not afraid of being outed. i trust him enough. but if he does do it- it'll seal the deal on EVERYTHING pretty much. i'm worn out and tired of playing the game of "deception" having to play a different charater everyday and actually having people believe thats who i really am. I have told you guys in the past that it would be my exhaustion that would probably out me. So its time, all i have to do is call him. I'm ready to stop living a lie now. Its frightening, but i am ready for the worst of it. I am ready. I have been ready for ages now. i have building my courage and my willpower. I've set up backup plans and counter attacks over the past few years. but i hope i will not have to use them. I simply hope if he doesnt like the fact that im gay he'll just walk away quietly.

Amigo, I'm not trying to change your mind on anything, but you seem to have a few different issues all coming to meet at the same point.

1) Friendship crisis
2) Romance crisis
3) "Privacy" crisis (for want of a better word)

Perhaps things might go better if you just tackled one at a time. Example: Just take care of the friendship problem right now. Later you can worry about coming out. Then, once that's behind you, take care of the romance problem.

It could take a very long time (6 months?) to get it all sorted out.

Or, yeah, you could just go gangbusters on the whole ball of wax right now (to mix metaphors)...



Take a breath and think about it. Keep us posted.

[pellaz]

... he wants to go for dinner and discuss everything over that ... So i am to call him and basically schedule what could be our last talk- as friends.

talk to him over the phone and re assure him, calm him down. then see him in person.

... this will be the make or break conversation after the next conversation we may not be friends anymore ... I simply hope if he doesnt like the fact that im gay he'll just walk away quietly.

dont be so negative, anything is possible from my perspective but worst case could be "he will come around in time". a true friend will support you (the friend has limits) in whatever you consider best for your life.

best of luck!

[ManicReptile21]

Amigo, I'm not trying to change your mind on anything, but you seem to have a few different issues all coming to meet at the same point.

1) Friendship crisis
2) Romance crisis
3) "Privacy" crisis (for want of a better word)

Perhaps things might go better if you just tackled one at a time. Example: Just take care of the friendship problem right now. Later you can worry about coming out. Then, once that's behind you, take care of the romance problem.

It could take a very long time (6 months?) to get it all sorted out.

Or, yeah, you could just go gangbusters on the whole ball of wax right now (to mix metaphors)...



Take a breath and think about it. Keep us posted.

i'll dump on him one at a time. But i am going to tell him im gay before i tell him i love him. in fact by me just telling hi im gay he may finally be able to put together the clues and determaine that i like him. He isnt stupid. maybe he already knows. who knows. I'm ready to find out, and so is he. i wont fail him. not again.

[LateBloomer]

i'll dump on him one at a time. But i am going to tell him im gay before i tell him i love him. in fact by me just telling hi im gay he may finally be able to put together the clues and determaine that i like him. He isnt stupid. maybe he already knows. who knows. I'm ready to find out, and so is he. i wont fail him. not again.

Ok, sounds like you've given it quite a bit of thought.
I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for the best.

[pellaz]

i'll dump on him one at a time. But i am going to tell him im gay before i tell him i love him. ...

your so bad. you mean after "texting yelling at him" you never told him your gay? yes first thing:
-either tell him you dont want to see him (he is unstable un reliable to keep his mouth shut)
or
identify you gay, (he probably already knows).


next step... stay friends.


sooo much drama!